(Closed) Being a mother

posted 4 years ago in Babies
Post # 31
Member
4426 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

How many children do you have?    

1 sweet baby boy who is 3 months old.

What’s the ONE best thing about being a mum?

Knowing that we have the privilege of experiencing so much with him! Also, just loving him. He’s such an awesome baby and I’m constantly overwhelmed by how much I love him. 

What’s the ONE worst thing about it?

Trying to catch you balance as a new parent and a partner to your spouse. It’s hard to figure out how to keep your relationship a priority at times when you are so in love with this new person. Trying to remind ourselves that he wouldn’t exist without our love for each other, so we need to make time just the two of us. 

What 3 pieces of advice would you give an expectant mum?

1. Have whatever type of birth you want, but be flexible. Also, while yes, it is painful as hell, birth is a really interesting experience. But, I will say, the epidural rocked. 

2. Take care of yourself after birth. You need to cut yourself some slack and know your limits. You’ve been through something traumatic (not necessarily bad, though). Let others help and take care of you. 

3. The first 3 months are hard, but things do balance out. You may find yourself thinking “What the hell have we done?” in those first weeks. Don’t feel guilty. It’s normal.  

Any regrets about having your children?

Nope! I love everything about this kid and it’s so much fun watching Darling Husband with him. A whole new layer of love added to our relationship. 

Sum up your experience of motherhood thus far as BRIEFLY as possible

 Natural-but that doesn’t make anything easier- while being so surreal at times. Complerely in love. 

Anything else you would like to add

I thought everyone was being a filthy liar when they said you forget the pain of birth. I remembered it for weeks! Almost 14 weeks PP and it truly is hazy. 

Oh! And even though you’ll love your kid, you may be jealous of pregnant woman. I loved being pregnant and miss that I got to carry my son with me everywhere. For me, it was a really intimate and happy time. 

Post # 32
Member
4426 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

ASH.:  My son is only 3 months, but just today I was thinking about how weird this whole thing is. To think that I grew him in my body, pushed him out, and now get to hold and cuddle him is just odd. 

Reminding me f one more piece of advice- don’t beat yourself up over your PP body. It’s just done something insane and it takes time to come back from that. Give yourself a break (I need to do this more)!

Post # 33
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

how many children do you have?    1

whats the ONE best thing about being a mum? the look on my baby’s face when she sees me..that smile melts my heart every single time no matter how bad a day I’ve had or how exhausted I am!

whats the ONE worst thing about it? No one has invented a baby carrier for moms to shower with! 😉 Seriously- my baby carrier was a godesent and I could do everything myself when I was on maternity leave after DH’s paternity leave ended EXCEPT shower unless I put her in a bassinet or swing, which she did not like when she was younger!

what 3 pieces of advice would you give an expectant mum? 1) Make sure you make time for “you” to decompress and take care of your needs. 2) People will give you a LOT of idiotic and baseless advice. Smile, nod and eyeroll. 3) Try to do everything major with the house BEFORE the baby arrives because once he/she is here, it’ll be a few months before you can really get significant breaks to get things done.

any regrets about having your children? No. We planned it so we were in a good place financially before we TTC, which was very important to us.

sum up your experience of motherhood thus far as BRIEFLY as possible: The most terrifying experience of my life that I would do again in a heartbeat 🙂

 

 

Post # 34
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

how many children do you have? One, she just turned 2 years old.

whats the ONE best thing about being a mum? Being able to watch this little person grow and learn.

whats the ONE worst thing about it? Never getting to be alone, and constantly being touched.

what 3 pieces of advice would you give an expectant mum? 1. You need to take care of yourself. If somebody offers help, take it. Don’t be a martyr. 2. Things often don’t go the way you plan, be it labour/delivery, breastfeeding, or anything else you try. Don’t get hung up on it. 3. You are going to get a buttload of advice from absolutely everybody you’ve ever known. Acknowledge it politely, but don’t feel obligated to follow it. You know what’s best for your child.

any regrets about having your children? I waited nearly a year to seek treatment for PPD. I feel robbed of that first year of my daughter’s life.

sum up your experience of motherhood thus far as BRIEFLY as possible. It is hard. Motherhood is exhausting and frustrating and really, really, really fucking hard. But it is so wonderful and at the end of the day, it’s all worth it.

Post # 35
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

MeandYou:  Love this post!

How many children do you have?  

One daughter – 3 months old today!

What’s the ONE best thing about being a mum?

Seeing her discover her world – rooting for the boob for the very first time, her first smile, knowing my face, rolling over, etc. Everything is amazing to her and awesome to watch and be a part of!

What’s the ONE worst thing about it?

The highs and the lows. In the same day I can go from my heart breaking with how much I love her to  frustration at not peeing able to pee/eat/sit/etc for 3 hours and realizing it’s 4 pm and I haven’t showered etc.

What 3 pieces of advice would you give an expectant mum?

Well I consider myself a new mom so I’m sure my advice will change as I continue to navigate motherhood but here’s a few things I’ve learned so far:

1. Stop worrying! I was so fearful my whole pregnancy. Trust God, trust yourself and it will all work out.

2. Learn to tactfully stand up for what is right for your child. Everyone wants to be the one to soothe the baby or think they know what your baby needs. You are their mom and taking care of their needs is instinctual and their needs are more important than being a “people pleaser” and stepping on toes.

3. When in doubt, give them the boob!

Any regrets about having your children?

Not for one second!

Sum up your experience of motherhood thus far as BRIEFLY as possible:

The best choice I ever made! Your body will change, you will never be able to shut off your brain but you will love more than you ever thought possible. Pretty much every cliche is true.

Anything else you would like to add:

I never liked other people’s kids, we went back and forth on having our own and it truly is the most amazing thing in the whole world. I’m sad to think I could have let fear stand in the way of what I have now.

<div style=”overflow: hidden; color: #000000; background-color: #ffffff; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;”> </div>

Post # 37
Member
2160 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I just have to ask, does anybody actually post graphic poo images on Facebook?? 😀 That’s gross.

I’m a mom too but don’t have time to answer the questions right now, so I’ll do it later 🙂

Post # 38
Member
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

how many children do you have? One, a 6 month old boy.

whats the ONE best thing about being a mum? Baby snuggles and trying new things with baby

whats the ONE worst thing about it? Everything takes so much more planning – when is he going to need to eat, do we have everything he’ll need, do I need my pump, will we be home for bedtime, etc.

what 3 pieces of advice would you give an expectant mum? Go see a movie, make freezer meals, hire a maid

any regrets about having your children? I wish we had moved to my hometown prior to having the baby

sum up your experience of motherhood thus far as BRIEFLY as possible I wasn’t too sure about this whole motherhood thing prior to getting pregnant and the entire experience has been so much more awesome than I expected. I’m having a ball with my son. And I’m so grateful for my husband, who is a fantastic father and husband. 

Post # 39
Member
2542 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

MeandYou:  

how many children do you have?    1 toddler son 2.5 years old

whats the ONE best thing about being a mum? Holding him – his hugs, feeling his little arms around my neck; when he falls asleep on me, all of it. Best feeling in the world.

whats the ONE worst thing about it? In general, the feeling that you are completely failing about every 3rd hour or so. More specifically for me at the moment, transitions. Getting a 2.5 to do what you need him to do – come sit for dinner, brush your teeth, put pyjamas on, get coat on, go to bed,..all of it, any ‘non-preferred task’ that is not related to playing is unbelievably challenging. It’s more work than I do the rest of my day at anything else. A 2 year old can reduce you to tears faster than anything from sheer exhaustion and helplessness. You’re the adult just force them? Sure, and then I’ll go nail jello to the wall.

what 3 pieces of advice would you give an expectant mum?

Get a bouncy chair for baby and bring it into the washroom with you so you can have a shower.

Wear clothing with pockets and keep snacks and your phone in those pockets, you will most certainly at some point find yourself ‘stuck’ somewhere holding a sleeping baby maybe for hours before someone finds you.

“Run the vaccuum while they are sleeping so they get used to noise” is complete and total BULL. You know who says that? People who don’t have kids or have kids so old they forgot what a newborn is like. Trust me, when you finally get your baby to sleep the absolute last thing in the world you will want to do is run the vaccuum and risk waking the baby up and having to start all over again with an energy level of negative a thousand. There is a very good reason that they make ‘SHHHH baby sleeping” signs. Once your baby finally FINALLY falls asleep and sweet relief is upon you you will only want to sit down and have a hot coffee in silence for as long as you can. Instead just keep the radio or tv on softly as background noise.

Any regrets about having your children?  I only wish I was younger to have more energy and creativity. Funny how a toddler can make you realize how dull your imagination got.

sum up your experience of motherhood thus far as BRIEFLY as possible:

Pre-baby: Husband and I were very social, always busy, always interacting with our social circle of friends and aquaintances. Bars, clubs, parties, late nights. Go go go. After baby: Friendships fell away as did the social calendar. We mostly fall asleep by 10 every night, earlier if possible. Saturday night? Awesome if my husband and I can watch a movie together. Our social time now is looking foward to trips to the zoo and getting home in time to keep our evening routine.

Mommy judgement is real, and horrible. Some Moms somehow always look like they have got it together, hair styled, clean clothes, new fashions. You will very likely not be that Mom. As long as you are loving your child, then you’re doing a great job.

 

Post # 40
Member
6831 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Fun! I’ll play.

how many children do you have?

Three. All teenagers now–part of why the term “bride” feels so strange to me. I’m too old for this sh*t!

whats the ONE best thing about being a mum?

Watching your children grow and learn and become the people they will be. 

whats the ONE worst thing about it?

Seeing them hurting and knowing you can’t (and shouldn’t) fix everything for them.

what 3 pieces of advice would you give an expectant mum?

-just let go of the idea that you get to shape their little psyches or otherwise mold them into who they will be. Some level of temperament and personality exist within your child when he/she is born and if she’s not wired to be a concert pianist she’s not going to be one no matter how many lessons you drag her to. Enjoy learning who your child is and support him/her in becoming his/her best self.

-there is almost always more than one right answer to any question and that right answer varies from person to person and family to family. For some it’s to not have children. I know great working moms and terrible SAHMoms. Dysfunctional two-parent families and amazing single-parent families. Even within my own family what was right for one child wasn’t always right for another. Be open and willing to adapt and teach those things to your children.

-cut yourself some slack. Someone once told me (as my former neatfreak self) the best mothers have sticky floors. Some days everything won’t get done. Time laughing with your kids trumps dishes in the sink overnight and it really is okay to buy cupcakes instead of making them for birthdays at school. Your sanity matters. If you run yourself into the ground you won’t be any good to anyone, as cliché as it sounds.

any regrets about having your children?

Never. No matter how tired I am or how broke I am or how hard it is to juggle work and family it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. While I wouldn’t trade it for anything I wouldn’t wish it on everyone. 

sum up your experience of motherhood thus far as BRIEFLY as possible

A rollercoaster. The hardest and most rewarding thing I’ve ever done or will ever do. Great joy and great sorrow. Never a dull moment. And sometimes a dull moment is a good thing!

Post # 41
Member
301 posts
Helper bee

Brilliant thread! I’m 26 weeks along with my first and the candid answers are very helpful 

Post # 42
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Great thread!

1) how many children do you have? 1 unbelievable 7-month (tomorrow) litte boy 🙂

2) whats the ONE best thing about being a mum? Learning something new every day; about yourself, about your baby, about your partner, and the world around you.  Everything changes, but it is an AWESOME learning experience.

3) whats the ONE worst thing about it?  2 things have been especially difficult:  First, the complete loss of control.  Try as you might, there is no controlling a baby.  That perfect outfit that finally came together after trying on piece after piece may very well get projectile spit-up on it the very next moment in time!!  And two, the complete change in identity.  It took time to figure everything else out, and a ton of tears, when “Mom” became my #1 priority.  

4) what 3 pieces of advice would you give an expectant mum?  1 – STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO EVERYONE ELSE.  Stop, stop now, please stop.  Motherhood is unique, period.  What works for you, works for you, period.  This includes how you parent, how you view yourself, how you ‘bounce’ back from pregnancy.  There is no one way or right way or correct way.  I promise.  2 – Let yourself feel, let yourself rest, let yourself be yourself; whether it is with friends, or at a nail salon, or just resting in bed. It took me 6 long, and very hard months to let myself be myself, and I regret not doing it sooner, seriously.  3 – Follow your gut. Stop reading or doing what everyone else is telling you, unless that works, and follow your gut.  It really is real, and takes you far.

4) any regrets about having your children?  Nope.  He is my greatest end to every day, and the best start to my tomorrows!

5) sum up your experience of motherhood thus far as BRIEFLY as possible:  It is a roller coaster.  A really cool, fun and scary kind. So, buckle up, trust you will make it to the end, and enjoy the ride!!

 

 

Post # 44
Member
589 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

how many children do you have?

1 daughter, shes 2 months old

whats the ONE best thing about being a mum?

The connection and love I feel for and from my daughter. When she looks at me while I feed her, smiles at me when she wakes up in the morning, giggles and laughs during playtime, I feel so full of love and so necessary and needed by this amazing little person. 

whats the ONE worst thing about it?

Anxiety and worry about everything! I constantly worry about her and how best to protect her from everything from car accidents to getting the flu. The world seems much scarier now that I have this tiny human to protect from everything.

what 3 pieces of advice would you give an expectant mum?

1 – take time for yourself whenever possible and accept all the help you are offered in the early days – it’s so important for your kids to have a healthy and happy mama and part of that is taking time to take care of you

2 – you’ll do a million things you said you’d never do (in my case, formula feeding early on & co-sleeping to name a few). Sometimes you have to let go of the “ideals” you had while pregnant about what parenting would be like and do what works at the time. You won’t be the perfect parent you imagined being and that’s okay. 

3 – housework can wait, snuggle and play with baby every chance you get because time goes by so quickly!

any regrets about having your children?

None. Darling Husband and I got pregnant a little sooner than we were planning but now that she’s here I can’t imagine having done things any other way.

Sum up motherhood

The most amazing, terrifying, hardest and worthwhile thing I have ever done or will ever do.

Post # 45
Member
47 posts
Newbee

how many children do you have?

One so far

whats the ONE best thing about being a mum?

You just don’t realize how much you can love someone so unconditionally until you’re a mom

whats the ONE worst thing about it?

It’s the hardest job in the world because it can consume your every thought 

what 3 pieces of advice would you give an expectant mum?

Expect anything and everything.  You will be shocked at how much your life has changed just from one little person.

any regrets about having your children?

absolutely not.  I do sort of wish I had my child with the man I’m about to marry, rather than with my ex, but then he wouldn’t exist… soo…

sum up your experience of motherhood thus far as BRIEFLY as possible

 It has been a whirlwind of emotions for me.  I thought my child was extremely challenging as an infant into toddlerhood and I never understood why.  He was later diagnosed with ADHD/autism and it has opend my eyes.  Being a mom now means also learning everything I can about ways I can help my child and always being ready for anything.

The topic ‘Being a mother’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors