Post # 1
So I’ve tried to do the etiquitte thing of not including the registry info in my invitations, and relying on word of mouth (parents, bridesmaids, etc.)
Some people (family) are coming directly to me to ask where we are registered and it’s awkward! I feel like I saying “You don’t need to get us a gift, but…if you still do, the registry is at X”. Clearly if they’re asking, they want to get us a gift and want to know where we are registered, and might actually be offended by the preface.
Argh, I just wish they would go to my parents to ask these things, but obviously it would be wierd if I were to say “um, my parents can answer that for you”.
Anyone have any advice on how to handle this?
Post # 3
Meh, they probably just feel it’s easier to ask you directly, I guess. I wouldn’t sweat it too much. I would just smile and say “we’re registered at X” and leave it at that.
Post # 4
Most people expect the couple to register somewhere, and asking you is how they’ll find out where. Don’t sweat it. 🙂
Post # 5
I was asked about 12 times yesterday–it made for interesting conversation about why we registered for a,b, and c at x, y, and z @[email protected]
Post # 6
I’d just tell them straight out that we’re registered at a, b, and c. If they’ve come straight to you for an answer, then you can just put it out there 🙂
Be ready for the weird convos @Mrs.Darling: mentioned, though. I know we’ve got a Keurig on two diff registries, one for the lake and one for home. Here’s to hoping that my guests don’t start comparing the details of each! Lol.
Post # 7
@indibee: We registered for the Keurig as well 🙂
My family was just confused because “EVERYBODY” registers for China and we registered for Pampered Chef instead because we are being gifted family china and they don’t know it yet.
Post # 8
If they ask you directly, it is fine to answer directly.
Post # 9
The idea is that etiquette is meant to make interactions between people smooth and frictionless. You’ve done all the polite, non-promotey stuff, but if folks come and ask you personally, then it would be weirder to do backflips to avoid telling them than it would to just tell them pleasantly where you’re registered at, with a smile and a thank-you.
IMO and a bit O/T, this is also one of the things that a wedding website is good for. I understand that word of mouth to get this stuff out is the classically done thing, but I also think that rules like that originated in a time where folks were more likely to all know each other. It would be way weirder to go through the process of getting the contact info for, say, a work friend’s parents or bridesmaids who you’ve never met, as opposed to just asking your friend or having a site to go to. Again — etiquette is supposed to keep the wheels of social interaction running smoothly, not to create a Rube Goldberg machine! Just my own $.02. 🙂
Post # 10
I did have it on my website and was a little surprised that so many people didn’t check there, but I think it was just too much work for them to have to type in the full website.
Post # 11
@village_skeptic: excellent! Thanks for putting things in perspective.
Feeling a whole lot better about this now! Thanks Bees.
Post # 12
I totally agree with the other bees. You have followed proper etiquette, so, when family members and friends take the initiative to ask you where you’re registered, it’s perfectly fine to just smile and politely answer their questions.
Post # 13
Hey, if they ask then answer. Simple as that, its not rude to answer questions.
Post # 14
I am not putting them in my invitations… but I am thinking about putting it on my website I created….. have not yet… but.?? I donno!
Post # 15
If they are asking, then it’s more than fine to answer. It’s like people asking “what do you want for christmas/your birthday”, except this way they are just asking where the list is located.
Don’t worry about it, I’m sure there are bigger worries at hand and these are just people who care about you enough to want to get you a gift.