(Closed) Being asked on the spot to add on 2 additional guests

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

That’s really rude In My Humble Opinion. I wouldn’t probably go back to the family and tell them that after you got home that your budget and venue won’t allow for an additional 2 guests. Or could your FI’s parents maybe field this one for you??

Post # 4
Member
46416 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would contact them and say that we are sorry, but we were caught off guard by their request. We now have come to the conclusion that we are not able to extend an invitation to the second cousins. We apologize for not responding accordingly on the spot, but we were simply not prepared for the fact that they would ask for additional invitations.

Post # 6
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I would probably just call or email and say “After getting back home and looking at our numbers, we actually don’t have room for any additional guests – including extended family. If we got lots of declines, we’ll definitely let you know”. I probably would leave out the part about getting caught off guard, as it could be a little bit offensive, and its probably best not to make anything awkward among family right before a wedding.

Super rude to ask someone a question like that on the spot. sorry they did that!

Post # 8
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@shoppinggirl:  I had someone ask me to invite their live-in house guest to our wedding. I barely knew the girl and while she seemed nice we were at our limit. I just told her “The guest list has been decided”. But what the PP have said is spot on!

Post # 9
Member
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I had something like this happen. I invited my aunt and uncle but not their two adult sons. My aunt called me to let me know that her sons names weren’t on the invite (in case I hadn’t noticed…) and wondered if I had forgotten to include them. Anyways, I tried to explain that I wasn’t invited all of my cousins but she really put me on the spot and I caved and said they could come. I immediately regretted it. Not only did it mean paying for two extra meals but because I invited those two cousins, I felt obligated to invite other cousins who I had purposely not invited beforehand.

We’re only paying about $20 a person which is not nearly as expensive as $150 a person. I’d definitely go back and talk to them about how they put you on the spot. I wouldn’t want to pay that much money for guests I don’t even know!

Post # 10
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@shoppinggirl:  Most definitely reply with no. There is no excuse for asking for them to come. That’s really quite unreasonable. I’m sure she’s aware weddings are expensive and you’ve already been more than generous with your invites to her.

Post # 13
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

They were rude to put you on the spot like that, but you really should have mailed the invitations.  Were the people they asked about around when you handed them out?

Post # 15
Member
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree that these guests were wrong when they asked you if they could bring their planned houseguests to your wedding. And, you had every right to tell them that, unfortunately, you just are not able to accommodate two additional guests. However, because you were caught off guard, you, unfortunately, have already told this family that they could bring their future houseguests to your wedding. Now it would be rude of you to rescind your invitation, however awkwardly it was issued or however pressured you may have felt to extend it.

Post # 16
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Absoultely not okay!

Definitely send an email or call and say that youll have to let them know closer to the date after your intended RSVP come in.

I wouldve had a meltdown also!

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