- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I’ve seen several bees write about how people call them bridezillas when they’re really not and totally emphasize! Most of the time these brides are being reasonable and it’s the BMs, family members, FIs or whoever else that have the issues. I’m sure many of you girls have been there.
Now I had it taken a step further in my case. I’ve never been anywhere close to a bridezilla. I did choose a dress for my girls, but they all loved it. It’s a wrap dress that can be tied a million different way and flattering on all their bodies, can definitely be worn again, plus I fully paid for the dress and will be paying for their hair and makeup and giving them other gifts. They threw me a fantastic bachelorette that everyone enjoyed and didn’t cost anyone too much.
FI and I currently live aborad so I’ve been doing all my DIY projects as well as ALL planning by myself and have not bugged any family or bridal party members with anything. FI’s parents are helping us check off our RSVPs, but his dad volunteered to do so and it’s really not a huge chore for him. Aside from running some ideas (nothing shocking, just OOT bag choices, some songs, some menu items, etc) by the bridal party and family and I’ve really not asked for any help with the wedding.
I’ve been entirely self-sufficient in doing this on my own, and IMHO have done a bang-up job of planning a fantastic day from 7000 miles away. Frankly, I’ve been nothing but efficient, organized, and resourceful. My only flaw may have been giving FI limited options, but he did tell me on multiple occasions he didn’t care and would get annoyed when asked for input, so to save time I would narrow the options down myself.
Anyway, maybe it’s because people here don’t really understand what a bridezilla is and haven’t seen the American show, but one of FI’s friends recently called me one when she found out just how much planning I had done. FI swears it was meant as a joke, and that she meant it in a “good” was without fully understnading the REALLY negative connotation of the word. Apparently she was complimenting me on being organized. That would have been fine, but it has caught on, and now FI thinks it’s funny and has called me one many times whenever we disagree on wedding stuff. I’ve told him how much it offends me because I have NEVER been a bridezilla, and he has agreed to stop, but now a bunch of people including his family have heard him use the term in relation to me and I’m so hurt and upset by people using it.
It doesn’t happen often but hurts every time and implies that I’ve been a controlling psycho and I’m afraid the misconception will continue to spread. It would be easy to assume I was a controlling psycho, since I did plan the whole thing by myself. But not because I didn’t WANT anyone’s opinion, but because I didn’t really need it and even it I did, it would be kind of hard to include poeple from 7000 miles away. Everyone has been perfectly fine just having me run things by them and it’s not like I didn’t include wedding party and family members in anything, but if anyone was to mention how much work I did for this wedding, it would look like I just took over control and really WAS a monster.
I know it’s just a word and no one means it in a derogatory way, but it hurts my feelings and I don’t want people talking about me like that. Sorry this vent turned out long. I just feel if I try to explain my feelings to anyone else they will say “Ok maybe you weren’t before but now you ARE a bridezilla.” ARGH!
I realize I may sound like I’m overreacting to just a word, but I find it extremely offensive and upsetting because it totally doesn’t apply. I don’t need a pat on the back or a cookie or whatever for planning this wedding alone, but please don’t call me a bridezilla!
Anyone else go though anything similar?