(Closed) Being called a BRIDEZILLA when I'm not (vent)

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2002

Continue to plan your special day and don’t let that word bring you down. I understand how hurt you may feel. I always keep a smile on my face and walk with my head up that way make those haters (my opinion) know that I’m not going to let that word bother me and keep it moving. I like to give folks something to think about when I look at them smile, say thank you and keep it moving.

Post # 4
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

that is annoying. I agree. I would be upset too in your shoes. From your words you seem to be pretty reasonable. 

However, I myself is turning into a bridezilla. I am a perfectionnist who lives with lists and structure every part of my life. 

This whole wedding adventure for me had 3 phases: the design of the wedding, the shopping-planning of the wedding, and the execution of the plan. I welcomed ideas, opinions and complaints during the first two phases. But when I am in executing mode (this applies to anything I do), I despise, hate, can’t stand, any little disruption in the well-oiled machine.

So now I get very irritated by anything or anybody that goes against what was decided. I don’t want to hear anything. I don’t care what other people thinks or wants. How dare you want anything : it is our wedding after all, not anybody else. Unfortunately I have about 80 days to go. and my FMIL just added 7 new guests to her list. She must be totally crazy because RSVP deadline is June 1st. 

 

Sorry for venting on your post Frown

Post # 5
Member
394 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@LilDrAnya:  Ugh, I’m sorry that’s happening to you. I can kind of relate but it’s on a much smaller scale. my wedding is a whole year away, but we’ve booked a fairly small venue, with a max of 135 guests, though the coordinator recommends 100 for comfortable seating. Because my family is pretty large, with 40 people and they’re all coming, I have a limited guest list. I asked my fiancé to ask his parents who of their family they plan to invite so I can plan the remainder of my guests (co-workers, friends) accordingly. 

Anyways, dear fiancé probably didn’t phrase it like that in his email to his mom and his parents called my parents wondering why I was demanding to know who was all coming to the wedding a year in advance! Argh, it’s really not that big a deal and I’m not too fussed more so than annoyed. Also, they live on another continent so misunderstandings are bound to occur. I just didn’t want to invite 150 people and haall them all come, and I crazy?!

Post # 8
Member
7999 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

Yeah, it happens when you are organised. I’ve done everything for the wedding (except organising my hen do!) myself, with a little help from FI. But a few people have come around to the house, seen me up to my elbows in DIY or planning spreadsheets, and gone “woah… bridezilla!”.

I found this very confusing. Since when is being organised the same as being a bridezilla? Are my organisational skills threatening, for some reason?

Meh. Anyway, it’s bizarre.

Post # 10
Member
3645 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@Rachel631:  @LilDrAnya:  Unfortunatly I think people have started to use the term to describe anyone who actually cares about their wedding rather than saying “Whatever” “I don’t care” “Do it your way”. Apparently, if you even show any interest in wanting a wedding at all or in how it is planned, you are a bridezilla. 

OP, perhaps go through some of the latest posts like this:

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/bridezilla-of-thecentury-the-award-goes-to-this-woman/page/2#axzz2UYPmNkXO (post #72)

And others which I’m sure you’ll find by digging around weddingbee, print them out and show your FI. Just to give him a taste of what a bridezilla REALLY is. 

 

Post # 11
Member
2949 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@Everdeen:  +1 Definitely agree with showing your FI that particular thread.

 

@LilDrAnya:  I’m sorry that people are calling you a “bridezilla” when frankly, you do not sound like one and it is ok to care about one’s wedding. It’s a big event and an important milestone, for eff’s sake! Of course the people involved are going to be stressed and emotional and want to have it organized to allow the day to run smoothly for themselves and their guests.

Someone recently tried to imply that I was becoming a bridezilla simply because I’ve already tried on wedding gowns and my wedding is two years away. After telling them that it was a logical thing to do in that I know now which silhouettes suited me and therefore would be able to narrow and focus my search, I corrected them and said that if anything, I won’t be a -zilla, I’d be a Bridethulhu Tongue Out

 

 

Post # 12
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

The term is bandied about way to frequently and casually anymore.  A bridezilla is the impossible, tantrum throwing brat or witch you see on the show by that name.  Being thorough or having an opinion doesn’t make someone a bridezilla.

Post # 13
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@LilDrAnya:  Yes, very much so. I also did all of my planning from abroad or out-of-state, and since FI doesn’t live near the wedding site OR me, I’ve been doing absolutely everything. He got our invitations, and complained about how much work that was. I was like “wow..you just…have no idea.” We are paying for everything, so I’ve spent a lot of time being budget conscious. I’ve also tried to stay insanely organized, because, without that, I don’t know what our wedding would have looked like, or if there would have been one. 

Generally, people are positive and supportive (though two of my colleagues got married this year, and their parents paid for and planned everything…they were less than sympathetic, and kind of irritatingly smug). But my MOH and little sister has been the worst. She said she would throw me a shower, and I tried to tell her that I did NOT want her spending a lot of money on it, because she is young and occasionally has trouble with finances. She freaked out at me, called me bridezilla, and told me I needed to control everything. I was heartbroken, really. She also told me that I don’t spend enough time on the few trips I have been home (where we are having the wedding) with the family not doing wedding stuff. I have had NO TIME to not do wedding stuff on the total of 3 weeks I have been home! I find it really hard, and honestly, it has made me feel really alone. 

FI has tried really hard to be supportive and caring, but I don’t think he realizes how the bridezilla comment is really hurtful. I’m glad I’m not the only one. 

Post # 16
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@LilDrAnya:  I dread the day someone will say that word to me and I have a feeling it will be said in the same context as you’ve been copping. I am incredibly well organised and full of creative and DIY ideas – I am not controlling or anything like that at all.

However we just had our engagement party where we had over 100 people, and some didn’t know us throughout the entire 6 years we have been together so I created these photo boards for every year we were together (only 4 pictures on each) and thought they would make great talking points for our guests. Our friends loved them but a few of my family told me I was an “over achiever.” I was so annoyed. I put hours of work into them because I wanted to but I was made to feel like I was trying too hard. They said the same thing when I gave my bridesmaids their “Bridesmaid boxes” which I also put a lot of work into.

Now I’m a little apprehensive about my ideas for the wedding and feel if I do too much I will be either a bridezilla or an overachiever and I know for a fact I won’t be happy about being called that. Frown

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