(Closed) Being called a “slut” in bed?

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: Do you let your partner call you a "slut" during intercourse?
    Yes! its dirty and I love it : (192 votes)
    32 %
    Maybe.. depends on my mood. : (166 votes)
    28 %
    HELL NO. Disrespectful. : (224 votes)
    37 %
    Other- Please explain. : (17 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4653 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I have nothing against couples that do this and they like it BUT when i saw this post I said in my heah OH HELL NO! If Fi said that to me he would not be getting any for quite awhile and would be in the dog house for sure!

    Post # 4
    Member
    939 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I don’t see anything wrong with it.  If Fiance said that to me I wouldn’t be upset or offended.  I know thats not how he really feels about me so I see no reason to get bent out of shape if dirty talk is what gets him going.

    Post # 5
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I definitely have to be in the mood/the vibe has to warrant it, but I don’t have an issue with it. We can get a little kinky without either of us feeling disrespected. Is it a common occurence for us? No, but we’ve had our moments.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2073 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I wouldn’t worry about him wanting someone else.  Maybe have a chat outside the bedroom about how you feel and whenyou feel it is appropriate for him to say that.  I’d hope he wouldn’t bust that one out during a more romantic moment which he most likely won’t. Hope it isn’t tmi by my Fiance likes tat kinda talk from time to time and seems to know when it’s “that” type of night.    Communication is key.  Trust your guy.  

    Post # 6
    Member
    466 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Hell to the no. Now I am not a prude in any way, shape or form… we get pretty kinky sometimes and there are not many things we dont do in the bedroom. I can get quite loud and vocal but the minute he says something degrading (like slut, whore, bitch etc), I get the female version of an ‘innie’ and sexytime grinds to a halt. I just cant do it. Hell, I ask him to slap my face if I am in a rough mood, but he cannot call me one of those things! (weird I know lol)

    Post # 7
    Member
    1577 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I don’t think I would be a fan.

    My Fiance calls me a “minx” or “sexy little minx”, which make me feel amazing; and I think he knows he gets more out of a compliment in bed than acting out some kind of fantasy.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1145 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I encourage the dirty talk in bed! haha Laughing Call me whatever you want in the bedroom. He respects me, I respect him. Its totally just a turn on thing. He or I will initate the dirty talk by talking about ourselves, you might have him call himself something before talking about you. You can then say “X” about yourself or nothing at all back to let him know its cool or not. That way you are both on the same page that night.

    Just because someone talks a certain way or even acts in the moment doesn’t mean they want someone else. For me it just gets me in a different mind frame, to have more fun and loosen (ha) up. That said its not for everyone.

    Outside of that moment – its not cool with with either of us.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think for some couples its totally normal and fine.  For me, however, definitely not.  There are certain words like bitch and slut that are completely off limits – they have always had too much of a negative connotation for me and there is no way I could incorporate them into my sex life.  

    On the same token, I would never call him a bastard, dickhead, or asshole in bed, because to me calling a woman a slut is a similar thing.  

    Post # 10
    Member
    949 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I don’t think you have anything to worry about necessarily, and it’s good/appropriate that he asked. I have no problem with dirty talk in general, but Fiance said something in a very lighthearted and joking way about me being a slut the other day (we were discussing college hilarity) and I was super offended and told him so. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    9647 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    for me i would hate it, i agree with @Bears-bub: i find it degrading, but every couple is different 🙂

    Post # 12
    Member
    13099 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    It would have to be the “right” kind of night but it certainly wouldn’t bother me for Darling Husband to talk like that in bed.

    I know he doesn’t actually think I’m a slut.

    Post # 13
    Member
    71 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    If he was respectful enough to ask your permission, I think you have good communication, and that you should be able to express your feelings about that word outside of the bedroom.  If you were truly fine with it in the moment, those are moments that stay between you two and he should easily understand that that is the only time and place it is appropriate.

    I personally don’t go that far anymore, because my ex was one of those filterless guys who would get drunk and conveniently “forget” the lines drawn at the bedroom door.  It was such an embarrassment that I can’t deal with that kind of talk anymore, but I honestly don’t think it’s a bad thing.  I absolutely trust that most men’s fantasies differ vastly from their real-world desires.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1571 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    It wouldn’t do it for me, but I could at the very least try not to laugh my ass off if he wanted to say it in bed.

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