- 3 years ago
- Wedding: August 2015
My mom just told me she cut me out of her will, and while I agree that it’s her money and she can spend it how she sees fit I’m very upset.
First, I am the youngest of 3 daughters. My mom was never rich but she has a well paying career and in recent years has ramped up her savings. About 2 years ago she told me of a plan to split her assets in 1/4 when she passes. One for funeral costs, and a percentage for each of us kids.
My sisters are, for lack of a better word, a mess. The oldest of us three is married to a man who makes very good money for their area (about 90K while the average is 50-60) and she is a school teacher. They live above their means, to an extreme degree and from the last I heard have about $325K in loans (some being student loans) they have tried multiple times to pay down debt but my sister is spoiled and keeps charging things. An upgrade to her diamond ring, $300 sunglasses and trading in her car every year. My other sister was pregnant for the 3rd time by her 21st birthday, she now has 3 kids by 2 seperate fathers and has been chasing them for child support pretty much the kids whole lives. Her current husband is a several time convicted felon with a teardrop tattoo so his job opportunity is slim to none. They live off of food stamp fraud (the government doesn’t know he exists, and she sells them for cash, the occasional child support payment and my mom. On top of her living in my moms house rent free (my mom got tired of living with them and moved out of her own house into an apartment) and driving a car that is in my moms name that she occasionally makes a payment, she often withholds her kids when someone won’t give her money.
Anyway, fast forward to today and my mom told me that she is opening a small business that she has been thinking about for a long time, I was very supportive and we were just discussing small details and at one point I asked if she was planning on cutting back hours at her job to do it, because I knew she wouldn’t be able to support herself from the beginning off of her business.
That is when the argument began. She told me that she is actually going to use part of her savings, I figured this meant the portion for her funeral costs and that we would each be required to pay a part of it from our share. Nope. She told me she will be using my share.
Her reasoning? I’m responsible. I have tried very hard not to get myself into the trouble that my sisters have. They are older than me (10 and 7 years) and I watched these problems happening before I was on my own and have always been conscious. I joined the military to avoid student loan debt, my husband and I live below our means and I take saving very seriously. Because of this we have built a $1,000 emergency fund and have $9,000 (3 months of expenses) in savings and would like to double that in the next year. We plan to start investing our money soon and overall I am very happy with our financial standing. I am only 22 and he is 26 so I know that we are doing well for ourselves. He also just got out of the military and is now going to school full time for free and receiving a check monthly to do so.
Because of this my mom thinks it’s fine to give my sisters each money when she passes, but leave me with nothing. To be clear I don’t NEED the money but I still feel like cutting me out because I have done well for myself is unfair.
Ladies, what would you do?