(Closed) Being diplomatic over the color of the bridesmaid dresses

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
5493 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t think bridesmaids really get a say in your wedding colors and seeing as their dresses coordinate with the overall wedding colors, they need to just suck it up.  I’ve worn many a bridesmaid dresses the colors of which I hated but never said a word because it was not my wedding.

I’m all for having input on the style to makisure the girls are comfortable and that no body parts or hanging out but in terms of color they don’t really get a say

Post # 4
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think you should have the final say in the dress color.  It’s your wedding and your vision.  Your BMs should not pick the color.  However, if some girls say it is not their color, I would make sure you see them in that color before moving forward.  What if they really do look ghostly or sickly?  Once you see how they look, you can decide how important the color is to you.  If they really do look fine in it, put your foot down.  If they do not look great, you could try different shades of yellow to find one that is more flattering.

Post # 5
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think with a color like yellow, there is an automatic tendency to say ack.  (I know that yellow is not on my top list of colors).  That being said, I’ve seen a lot of amazing bridal party photos with yellow dresses, and everyone looked really lovely. 

I agree with BlueChampagne about having them try on the yellow shade you’re thinking, or at least holding up the color to get a sense of how it’ll look.  And if people really DO look funky, maybe go from there…possibly have them wear another one of your wedding colors, or maybe try and find another shade of yellow? 

I think it’s good to try it out first, and if it looks nice and they still object, just stick your tongue out at them. 🙂  Well, no not really, but I think it’s appropriate to say that because they do look nice, that’s the color you’d like them to wear. 

Post # 6
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Sorry to hear that!  I think they are being very rude.  There is nothing wrong with yellow dresses – I happen to like them also. 

It is your wedding and you should choose what you want.  That being said, I would be inclined to pay for their dresses if they don’t like the colour.  If the dresses are expensive, it’s probably a little unreasonable to make them pay for something they don’t overly like.  

Post # 7
5988 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

yellow is my fav colour and i think you should be allowed to dictate the colours of your wedding

IF you should change the colours, you can up the yellow in flowers and other accessories – its a beautiful colour so dont lose your vision


Post # 8
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I would stick to the color you like (yellow) but find a tone that works on your girls. Yellow is a color that can be very hard to wear so it is important to find the right shade to have everyone look their best in your photos.

Post # 9
9048 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Hmmm.. I kind of think that not a lot of people look great in yellow.  Me in particular unfortunately, since I do love it.

If you have your heart set on yellow I would definitely check what it looks like on them.  Just get them to give it a chance.  At the end of the day it’s your call.

Post # 10
5117 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with PPs about checking them out in the various shades of yellow you may be considering.

I do think though, at the end of the day, you choose the colors and they suck it up (metallic teal dresses a la the 80s, anyone? I doubt BMs chose that rockin’ dress).

Post # 11
1675 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I had this issue too – my colours are red and black, and 3/5 bridesmaids refused flat out to wear red. We went with black dresses. To me, it didn’t matter and one of my goals was to have them get a dress they’d wear again, so I was okay with that. Do you have another colour that you’d be willing to have them wear? Maybe have the girls wear either of your colours? If that’s not an option, then dictatorship style might be the way to go. 

Post # 12
8351 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Like previous posters have stated already, it is your wedding and you have the ultimate right to choose the color(s) of the gown. That being said, I have to also agree with your bridesmaids, yellow is a color that very few people can wear, and to be honest, I probably would have been one of the rude bridesmaids and let you know that, but if that is what you want for your girls to wear, if I was in you bridal party I would wear it. I suggest that you give it a little more thought and maybe have a yellow sash or yellow flowers instead of yellow dresses. Your pictures will turn out much betther if you have a happy bridal party.

Post # 13
380 posts
Helper bee

I gave in a lot to my BM’s – and in the end it worked out great.  They have dresses they looked amazing in and can wear again.  Depends what your priorities are, I guess.  (Ie. The colour scheme you’ve envisioned versus happy BM’s who can wear their dresses again, etc.)

And like other people have said, maybe you should see if the yellow you want really ISN’T their colour.  I know that in pale greens (and possibly certain yellows, I’ve never tried it), my skin tone takes on a weird colour and it looks like I’m going to pass out or throw up.  In your pictures, do you want girls who look self-conscious or seriously ill?  Probably not.

I don’t know what your colour scheme is, but maybe if you’re set on yellow you could find a dress that is two-toned and has a more flattering colour close to the face, with yellow farther away (yellow sash/cummerbund? skirt?  shoes?).

edit:  oh, noritake already suggested that. i guess i should really read everything before posting.

Post # 14
4485 posts
Honey bee

Certain colors honestly don’t look flattering on many people. Yellow is a color that only a small percentage can wear and it look remotely good on them. While it is true that bridesmaids don’t pick the colors, they do know what is flattering on them and what isn’t. If someone isn’t comfortable in a certain color and/or style, that discomfort will show throughout the event and in your pictures which you will have forever. Let them pick the color they love so that everyone is happy.

Post # 15
2560 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

When I was planning my bridesmaids attire, having them look good, and feel comfortable was a big priority to me, so I think I would try to find a more universally flattering colour. Yellow is really hard to wear, and I know it makes a lot of skin tones look sickly. When you feel insecure it shows. When you see your pictures, do you want to see your girls looking uncomfortable?

Post # 16
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My colors are hot pink and navy.  When I told my girls, the first reaction from the Maid/Matron of Honor was OMG please don’t put me in Hot pink.  I can understand her concern, not everyone looks good in that color.  I decided on Navy for the comfort of everyone (navy looks good on anybody) I think it looks classy and I can still get my pop of pink color in the bouquets. 

As the bride, you get to make the final color decision, but if you have more than one color, you may want to swap to the other color and add your “pop” of yellow to the accessories or bouquet.  If they are that upset, they don’t have to be a bridesmaid…

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