(Closed) Being fair to bridesmaids

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
1040 posts
Bumble bee

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jelly3:  I think cake testing ( I’m not a dessert person) and Home Depot should have an open bar. I hate being dragged to Home Depot. Why don’t they have a wine bar?  They’d make a fortune. 

Post # 17
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I think you’re being completely fair. You’re flexible with how they’re going to be styled on your wedding day, and you’re offering to pay for their hair & make-up, and gift them robes (I’d forgo the flip-flops and get them either Kate Spade or a pair of comfy Toms).

Like many bees said, I wouldn’t invite them to the cake tasting.. But if it’s food tasting, that might be pretty awesome since caterers may let you invite X amount of people along with your Fiance to taste food (FREE DINNER!!). Or, you can invite them to any DIY tasks (ie, fold invites, label place cards and envelopes, pick up some decorations, etc.) or if you’re headed to a spa to pamper yourself have the girls come along and relax with you before the big day.

Post # 18
2083 posts
Buzzing bee

I think as long as you’re phrasing the asking as asking and not demading, its ok to keep asking if you’d really like them there. 

I personally wouldnt use a silk robe after the day so I wouldnt recommend them as a gift.

Post # 19
640 posts
Busy bee

I think it all sounds fair to me, and you are being considerate of them as well as keeping the tone of your wedding how you want it. In regards to them not accepting your invite to wedding related tasks, I would continue to invite them as you would like, as you say they have their own lives too but I think you should keep offering.

Post # 20
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

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dup24m:  My bride got us small kate spade bags. I thought it was great. If that’s not in the cards for you financially, maybe grab a designer keychain and a tiny bottle of wine. I’m not a fan of gift cards for BMs, but you know your friends better than I do.

Post # 21
105 posts
Blushing bee

I think that all sounds fair! I love the robe idea and I am considering doing the same. Where are you ordering robes from?

Post # 22
3302 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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dup24m:  You sound wonderful and thoughtful. I have been a bridesmaid in several weddings. I have been asked but have never gone to a dress fitting or cake tasting since it would bore me to death (but I’ve hosted showers which is more my style). Your bridesmaids are probably just not into that, don’t take it personally. 

A ghost tour for a bachelorette?  Love it!

Post # 23
7581 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

The gifts are props for your wedding, so they’re not exactly gifts. Buy them each something personal and non wedding related. They’re buying dresses, shoes and jewelry, and that’s not cheap. 

Post # 24
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I think you are being very fair.  I know for me, I wouldn’t use a robe after the wedding because I have one I love.  The best advice I received was to shop for my bridesmaids like I was shopping for their birthdays.

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