Being financially ready for marriage

posted 5 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 46
33 posts

rosydelight :  I had the same reaction. OP, the majority of the posts you have started are filled with insecurities about fundamental things in your relationship (personality traits, financial views, relationships w/your respective families and cultures, career ambitions, engagement timelines, etc). Having so many doubts about a relationship is not a sign that you’re ready for marriage. I am a chronic worrier and overthinker and I can honestly say that I have no doubts or fears about compatibility with my SO. As the pp stated, if everything is truly “right” you would just know and would not have to second guess every aspect of the relationship.

You seem overly concerned with with the expectations and views of others (family, friends, society in general) in regards to marrying and having kids by a certain age or pursuing certain career paths or planning the perfect wedding, and I wonder if maybe you’re putting to much pressure on yourself and this relationship as a result. I mean this only as sincere advice: rather than thinking about wedding planning and hypothetical future houses and kids it seems that you need to really figure out if you and your SO are truly compatible and if you can build a life together that will make you both happy. Taking more time to truly get to know your SO (is moving to the same city an option that you’ve discussed?), even if it means putting engagement plans on hold, seems really crucial here. 

Post # 51
1026 posts
Bumble bee

Basically being able to pay for the wedding and at least able to support whatever we want to do after marriage (e.g: financially able to support children if we want some). That either of us have a car (kinda important around here), paid off at least half of any of our loans and is actively saving up for a house (also kinda important around here).

One of us has to have a stable job. I will be freshly graduated when I get married, but he has been working for 5 years. I won’t mind if it’s the other way round too. I would say wait a couple years if both are just out of school.

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