It is all about boundaries…
I am old school on this topic (and have taken some heat for it from other Bees)
BUT the truth is, I have seen it far too many times where “friends” with the opposite sex can lead to problems in a relationship
Most people who end up in affairs do so with people they were “friends” with
Be they work friends – new friends – old friends – or friends who were Exes
This is how relationships happen… thru spending time with someone one-on-one
In the same way that BFs / SOs stemmed out of friendships as well
One on one time with a member of the opposite sex when you are in a relationship for many couples is indeed considered a no-no when they determine the “boundaries” that they want for their relationship
They do this because they have talked things thru and FOR THEM figure it is a risk that they don’t want to introduce
Doesn’t mean that one person doesn’t trust the other… just that FOR THEM they are aware of the statistics, and choose not to go there.
Call it whatever YOU want (old-fashioned thinking as I say seems to be a common stance)
But in reality THEIR RELATIONSHIP isn’t YOURS to judge… as you will do whatever you are comfortable with for your own relationship
For THEIRS this is what they’ve determined will be their RESPECTFUL BOUNDARY
Sorry… ya see it as losing a friend,
BUT, in reality the concept of continuing friendships with Exes is a NEW ONE… and the keeping others at a distance is definitely old-school, and has a long history of working for couples in the past for decades.
Once upon a time, when you split up with someone, you moved on… entirely. Not looking back, always looking forward.
Sure I have fond memories of some past BFs & Loves, but it wouldn’t occur to me for a minute to reconnect with them in any way… that is the past… Mr TTR is my Present & Future now.
And quite frankly… I am so much better off in my life because of his being in it, I wouldn’t do a thing to jeopardize it… including even casually “friending” someone on FaceBook
(lol, then again, I am not on FB, as I had quite my fill of “Jr High” silliness when I actually was in Jr High and 12 years old. Waaay too much non-important life Drama on FB… )
Hope this helps,