(Closed) Being guilted into having a wedding party

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1070 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

No you are not being selfish! can you leave this up to your future husband to discuss?

Post # 3
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee

Stick to your guns. Best time to start setting boundaries with people is NOW 🙂

“Future Husband and I decided don’t want a bridal party. We want everyone to relax and party as guests.”

Post # 4
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

View original reply
ellep91010:  Do what you want, and stand your ground. You can just simply say since we are having a more intimate ceremony we have decided to do away with having a bridal party. Don’t budge and hold your ground your FMIL will come back to you with stuff to say, but just stand your ground.

I love your idea of keeping it an intimate moment, it speaks to what vison you have for the wedding.

No one especially Future Mother-In-Law should treat you like they have been, especially with the color comment, its not her wedding.

Make the wedding you want and your own! Have fun planning!

Post # 5
Member
921 posts
Busy bee

You don’t have to have a wedding party but I do know someone who got married and didn’t have a wedding party and didn’t have her dad walk her down the aisle and on the day felt a bit sad that she was all alone getting ready and didn’t have anyone to say she looked beautiful or wish her luck or anything. Just make sure you think about that before you decide not to have anyone as it obviously wasn’t something she’d thought of. That being said, I think it’s absolutely fine to have no wedding party or to have a wedding party or MOH/BM who aren’t family

Post # 6
Member
3951 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
ellep91010:  Maybe have your siblings wear corsages/bouts (maybe even dress in certain colors or something) and walk down the aisle, but then sit in the front row instead of standing for the wedding? That way, they get their moment in the spotlight, and you get the more intimate setting at the front. 

You definitely don’t have to have a wedding party, but I don’t think you have to worry about a wedding party of 4 people looking too big for your wedding.

Post # 7
Member
4964 posts
Honey bee

Before anything, is it only you and your fiance paying for the wedding? If yes, NO WAY! It’s not a good idea to sacrifice your wedding vision just to make others happy especially you mentioned that you’re not even close to. There’s really no other way to do this but be honest with your in-laws. Explain in a polite but firm way that you and your fiance have already decided a while back before the wedding announcement that you would like to keep the wedding small and simple and you really like the color yellow but you want them to be with you on your special day. 

Post # 8
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
ellep91010:  NO! You absolutely do not need to include them in a bridal party! I was in this situation and caved and regret it so much. It should make it easier if you’re not having a bridal party at all.  Go with the colors you like, go with the small wedding plan that you like, and stand your ground. 

Post # 9
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

Nope! I have no wedding party. My friends will still be there to support me on the big day, and I will have a hard time narrowing the people in the room as I get ready to 5. I’m very happy with my decision!

Post # 10
Member
1251 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

No no no. Do what you want! One of my cousins really wanted to be in my wedding and I had to put my foot down. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do! It’s your wedding!!

Post # 11
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

If you don’t want to have a bridal party, don’t have one! It’s YOUR wedding. Not theirs. Even if they were paying for part of the wedding, they will have/have had their own weddings and can do as they wish. This is your day and you want it to reflect you and your fiance and your life together. Do not have them in the wedding party unless YOU want them there.

Post # 12
Member
1739 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

View original reply
ellep91010:  Stick to your guns! You will regret it if you change it for them. This should be the way you want it, not someone elses expectation of what it should be. We’re having an intimate ceremony as well (21 people including us) and we aren’t having a wedding party. I have a pretty strong personality so I usually turn these questions around on people who ask. Why do we need one? More stress than it’s worth. One lady said ‘well who is going to help you’ how about anyone I ask?

Post # 13
Member
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
ellep91010:  You’ve already had a taste of what it will be like if you give in and include her. Prepare for all your decisions to be questioned etc.

i recommend not sharing all the details about the wedding once you’ve clarified there will be no wedding party. I don’t mean be secretive, but unless they ask, just chat about non-wedding stuff like you did before the engagement. If they are too intrusive, you can always say that you want them to have some surprises on the day.

Post # 14
Member
3848 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
ellep91010:   First of all, gently, you do not need to share details of your wedding plans.  Even if people ask – simply smile, gaze off into the distance and change the subject.  Second, you do not need a wedding party.  If you don’t want one, don’t have one.  It is YOUR wedding.  Repeat as necessary!!!  I had a Maid/Matron of Honor and that was it!!  The FSILs came as guests.  I don’t even care what they thought.  It was stress free and I am SO grateful I did it that way.  Enjoy your planning and make it YOUR day!!   By The Way, when I say “your” I mean in the plural – you and your FI!!  đź™‚

 

The topic ‘Being guilted into having a wedding party’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors