(Closed) Being harrassed by fellow bees

posted 5 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I know this isnt what you want to hear but making a thread like this certainly wont help you.

Post # 4
1926 posts
Buzzing bee

Honey, you’re setting yourself up for a bad time again. Close this thread, and go get yourself some froyo.

Women are catty at times and forums like these that have anonymity produce quite a lot of it. We’ve all been the victim of it here, you just have to get over it and walk away. 

Post # 5
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2001

Yikes. I haven’t witnessed this.


– people are just being honest and It’s hurting your feelings 

– you are reading it the wrong way

– it’s time to stop with weddingbee if you are having such trouble


Admitting you flag people alot it is not gonna get your much sympathy. Stay on safe topics if you are worried about bees negative comments. 

Post # 6
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@jbbs1222:  Want to know the secret? IGNORE. If you don’t respond to those people, they will stop. This thread is going to be no good for you.

Post # 7
46420 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@jbbs1222:  The problem is that anyone who would post responses such as that, or PM you with hurtful messages, is not going to have an epiphany after reading this post and be remorseful about their behavior.

Flag the posts that you find offensive. Forward the PM’s to a moderator.

Ignore them. Do not give the power to hurt you to  internet strangers.

Post # 9
6359 posts
Bee Keeper

Sorry to hear it. Some women have never learned to communicate like adults. I was surprised too when I discovered just how many women of marriageable age (I assume, based on using this site) that includes. I suggest you do continue to notify the moderators, including about the private messages, and not take it to heart. You wouldn’t take it to heart if a 3 year old called you a poo-poo face, right? Well, there isn’t much difference between that 3 year old and a grown woman who is PMing another woman she doesn’t even know and swearing at her.

Post # 10
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@jbbs1222:  I agree that this post is gonna get a few huffy responses, but I feel your pain. I have seen innocent threads turn into a bunch of snarky comments, and I have had to close one of my own threads.

This is the internet and we are on a site with a bunch of super stressed women because of it being wedding centered. It is very easy to sit behind your monitor and take your stress out on another bee. I have found myself guilty of it a few times. When you read posts you aren’t getting the whole story and it is easy to make judgments. For instance- I am a young bride-to-be and posted a thread about what it took to buy a house, and I received a bunch of comments on how clearly my fiance and I were irresponsible with finances and that we needed to rethink marriage. That wasn’t the case at all, and I deleted the thread. I see where those bees were coming from based on a few statements I made, but I just did not feel the need to go into more detail about my situation.

Ya gotta let it roll of your shoulders. There are too many really kind and helpful bees and at the end of the day we are mostly here to support one another. Just try to remember that not everyone is just a flat out beeyotch and we all have things going on in out lives to make us say mean things occasionally.

Post # 11
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I agree that you should ignore the comments posted on threads.  I feel certain people respond and look for threads that they can just be bitches on.I’m not sure which ones are yours but sometimes I read some peoples responses/opinions and it is almost laughable how seriously they take themselves or think that their opinion is the be all end all.

But if you are getting private messages sent to you that crosses a different line and you should report that for sure.  Good for you for standing up to yourself. 

Post # 12
3686 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You will “contact the site” and have someone “removed”? What? I just read your most recent thread. You were in no way being harrassed.

If you feel that someone is violating the TOS of this site, flag their post and let the moderator deal with it.

Besides that, I suggest you take a break from the internet if the forum is getting you this upset.

Post # 13
482 posts
Helper bee

In agreement with most pp’s. Women can be catty. No matter if they’re adults. Responding to them only feeds the fire. Ignore and report their responses.

Post # 15
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@jbbs1222:  Read through your ten most recent postings for some insight to see if you were unfairly attacked.

You come off seemingly brash in most of your responses. This isn’t bad – but if you are going to be this straightforward when you communicate on an open forum expect to get flamed. Part of what makes this site great is that women learn to communicate their opinions in a way that does not hurt everyone involved.

When you posted a recent post abotu your FMIL’s dress – you posted your opinion (that you couldn’t believe she only spent $8 – but it was everything you had asked her for). Then when bees said they didn’t understand – because you got what you wanted – but that it seemed ‘snoddish’ of you to care how much she spent – you pretty much flew off the handle calling everyone on the thread ‘bi$*hes’. This could have been phrased slightly differently…you could have rephrased your original post in an update and say “what I mean to say was that she did this when she bought the dress” or “she was offensive when she said this”… and add a little bit more onto why you were so upset about an 8$ dress.

Usually – when the same thing keeps happening to you over and over the problem isn’t everyone else around you – it might be you.

Moderate your tone and I think you will have a lot fewer problems – or ignore the feedback. One or the other – seems legit to me.

Post # 16
4049 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

What, are you talking about the Goodwill thread? There were a couple snotty comments, but for the most part people were just being honest and saying they thought you were getting your panties in a bunch over nothing. If you’re posting such things on an internet forum, you need to have thick skin and be able to handle the good and the bad criticism. Not everyone is going to be on your side for every issue.

So when you see an excessively offensive comment, then you can flag it, and a moderator will see if it indeed violates the standards, and if so, they will take care of it. That’s all you need to do. Ignore it and flag and move on.


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