- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
This is kind of like a journal entry if you will. My emotions have been getting the best of me lately – it’s actually extrememly intense! I’m sure all you brides and brides to be have been here at some point.
It all starts when I wake up in the middle of the night – I seriously have nightmares he isn’t there with me. I’ll wake up and scoot as close to him as possible until I feel like it’s real again. It still all feels like an incredibly real dream! I wake up before my alarm every morning as not to wake him too, quietly slide out of bed and start my routine. When I’m all set and ready, I tip toe back in the bedroom and sit on the edge of the bed, watching him sleep. He’s like my angel. Here to protect me and give me happiness. I kiss him on the cheek or forehead – whichever is easiest to kiss! – and smile when he opens his tired eyes to then realize it’s time once again for me to leave. His voice cracks as he repeats, “I love you so much. I love you, drive safe. Text me when you get there so I know you’re okay – I love you.” (He even wakes up in the middle of the night to pull me close and tell me that!) This is how I know for an absolute fact that we are meant for each other – I get knots in my stomach when I even think about leaving his side. I have to fast forward to the second I get off work and drive as fast as I can without getting in trouble. I work an hour away and he’s mentioned a handful of times how hard it is to think I’m so far – describing this makes me sound pathetic, but it’s so intense!
He works nights at a bar which makes our schedule hard to bare. Being engaged and openly knowing we never want to be apart really has our situation in a bad place. I come home and he’s already gone! I try so hard to stay up, but I never have the energy.
Okay now that this is going nowhere! I guess I’m just one of those people that needs to put my thoughts on paper in order to get them out of my mind!
He’s in bed sleeping right now at 12:05pm on a Thursday. I have the day off and will be snooping around the internet doing wedding research. I want to wake him up, but I know he needs his rest. I miss him while he’s in the other room. Oh the troubles of love! And how much I enjoy having these troubles (: