(Closed) Being left alone by cold feet??

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am so sorry you’re going through this!  I have not been in this situation (knock on wood, my wedding’s in 3 months) so I don’t know what kind of advice I can offer, but it sounds like he’s just stressed and getting cold feet.  I hope you guys can work it out and he can get back to being excited about the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My heart breaks for you!  Maybe you guys should go on an old-fashioned pre-wedding-craziness date.  Just you two relaxing and reminding each other of the reasons why you’re getting married in the first place.  Leave all of the wedding chaos at home and enjoy each other.  This can be therapy for you, too!

Post # 5
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I’m so sorry to hear this!  HUGS.

Has he said anything more than he feels you are rushing?  Any other things he’s mentioned?  

Has he ever mentioned maybe not rushing to get married before and maybe you haven’t heard it?

3 weeks before the wedding is crazy… but the last thing you want to do is drag him kicking and screaming to the alter.  

Is there anyone he can talk to (a couples counselor?) to sort out what he’s feeling?

Has he said what he feels will be different down the road?  

Not that it matters – but how old are you guys and how long have you been together?  Perhaps that plays a part?

Post # 6
Member
759 posts
Busy bee

I definitely suggest couples/marriage counseling.  It’s definitely something I’d do if it were in your shoes.

Post # 8
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Wow, this SUCKS and I am so sorry you’re going through this. If it were my Fiance, I’d suggest he  call his mother. That’s what I do when he starts getting depressed or feeling unsure about things. Not certain whether that would work in this case, but a lot of times family (especially happily married family) can be helpful with relationship-type issues, and can be a reassuring presence.

Post # 9
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Carrie0226: How old is he? Marriage is a big step for everyone and it’s even bigger if you are young. Maybe he just realizes how big of a step it is. I’m sure everyone gets nervous before their wedding. I’m sure they go over in their heads if they are making the right decision. Maybe you should sit down and talk with him…calmly and let him know that it’s okay to be nervous and he needs to let everything be known right now. What is he nervous about? what does he have concerns about? What will waiting another year prove?

Post # 10
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Carrie0226: Did he give any explanation for the conversation?  I’m with you on not understanding how this could be the first sign of doubt.  Did he feel pressure to propose?  I can understand being scared that history will repeat itself, but if you’ve given him no reason to distrust you, it really doesn’t make sense why he’d be ok proposing and not wanting to go through with it.  I’m seriously hoping that he has some time to really think today and will hopefully come to you and tell you that it was just cold feet.  How did you end the conversation?

Post # 11
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Oh, I am so sorry!  HUGS.  Was he sharing his fears with you, or was he actually looking to make a plan and start calling vendors?  I think it’s perfectly normal for people to be nervous.  I’m wondering how serious he is, or is he just venting?

Post # 12
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sorry to hear that….try to talk to his mother?

I hope things will work out for you. (Hugs)

Post # 13
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Oh man, that’s super tough! I’m so sorry you are going through this. For sure talk with him. Is this a wedding or marriage issue? Meaning is he getting cold feet about being in front of everyone, the DJ, his family, etc. etc., or is he getting cold feet about being married? Maybe helping him sort that one out will help. I’m sending you good vibes!

Post # 15
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

You still have 3 weeks.  I hope he snaps out of it during this time.  Good luck.

Post # 16
Member
424 posts
Helper bee

cant you have like a wedding party dinner/ BBQ something for his few family that cant make it, closer to them soon after/before the day??.
my fiance has 2 family members coming and i have like 50. still doesnt mean he doesnt want to marry me. . try to get beyond this reason and figure what hes really going through, as others said..

 

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