Being long distance while engaged

posted 2 months ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 2
Member
27 posts
Newbee

My sister and her husband have been long-distance for the entirety of their relationship, engagement, and now their 4-year marriage. He has a job where he serves one specific community while she has a job that takes her around the world. The longest they’ve ever lived together was about a month.

This may be one of the reasons they decided to keep their wedding simple (13 guests). They let my parents plan a big reception on their own. I absolutely don’t envy them, and many people think it’s bizarre – but it speaks to the strength of their relationship and will make it all the more exciting when they can finally live together.

Post # 3
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

glutton :  D.H. and I were long distance for nearly the entirety of our dating life and engagement. When we were getting close to the wedding, I asked that he not be so selective in picking a job, and even if he only found a temporary job to come back home, that he take it. I did not want a long distance marriage. I hated long distance for as long as we did it, and it does not suit my personality type at all. He ended up finding the right job two months before the wedding. 

What worked for us was traveling to see each other every time we could, talking on the phone every night, and FaceTiming a few times a week. 

Post # 5
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

We were long distance for our dating plus engagement because of my husbands job. I was not working so that helped us. It allowed me to be one month with him and one to two months away only. Skype calls and whatsapp calls helped tremendously as well as both being gaming people. Planning my wedding long distance was hard but since I was flexible it was pretty doable, especially with my being able to travel to him as much as I did so I could visit places and see vendors as much as possible in person.

Post # 6
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

My husband and I have been married just shy of two years and have been long distance since meeting 5.5 years ago. We are an older first time married couple who both have very well established, successful careers in our different cities. My husband does most of the back and forth traveling because he also has an office in my area. But he also travels extensively to other areas so honestly it made more sense for me to stay put to continue to enjoy the fruits of my labor (career, lifestyle, friends, and other interests). I will retire in 4 or so years and then I’ll enjoy work travel with him. But for now, we appreciate every moment of our time together. Of course we wish we could be together more but we are very happy in our relationship.  It wouldn’t work for everyone but it works for us!

Post # 7
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

glutton :  He likes his job. It all worked out. 

Post # 8
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2021 - City, State

I am going through this right now with our engagement though with us we are about 3 hours away. He is trying to find a job in my town and I am trying to find a permanent job and we are trying to get it done by September. It is a lot of work to do, especially since sometimes I worry if he can follow through with finding something or if he is taking this seriously, but I kind of like how he put it being that if he wasn’t to follow through, he would disappoint not only me, but a whole lot of other people too and he would never live it down so I have hope that he will follow through.

I mostly just take it one day at a time and have a long engagement and not start planning the wedding by booking stuff until the fall when we will hopefully move in together and have jobs, not sure if this is an option for you, but I need a long engagement anyway to save up and get my job situation settled. I would be surprised if my vocational program doesn’t place me in a permanent job by the fall unless they ended up being really incompetent, but so far I am pretty happy with them and they have been responsive. Right now, we are just getting ideas for our wedding and not committing to anything right now. 

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