Post # 1
Just read this article and it resonated with me.
As a former long distance bee for 3.5 years before getting married, let me tell you that I don’t really recommend it although it did help our careers.
Planning a wedding in a different state while simultaneously searching for a job out of state in a niche field, having difficult conversations about our future, scouting out apartments, selling your stuff, packing, moving out of state, planning a honeymoon, shopping for furniture/setting up a new place, and starting a new job with a long commute all in the same 6-8 month span was very stressful, especially combined with wedding, friend/family, job loss and other personal stressors.
I’m happy to finally be settled in now, but relocation has definitely taken a toll on our marriage and my career (as did getting used to living together and adjusting to each other’s schedules).
bees who survived a long distance engagement specifically (especially people in dual career marriages) – I’d love to hear what worked for you!
Post # 2
My sister and her husband have been long-distance for the entirety of their relationship, engagement, and now their 4-year marriage. He has a job where he serves one specific community while she has a job that takes her around the world. The longest they’ve ever lived together was about a month.
This may be one of the reasons they decided to keep their wedding simple (13 guests). They let my parents plan a big reception on their own. I absolutely don’t envy them, and many people think it’s bizarre – but it speaks to the strength of their relationship and will make it all the more exciting when they can finally live together.
Post # 3
glutton : D.H. and I were long distance for nearly the entirety of our dating life and engagement. When we were getting close to the wedding, I asked that he not be so selective in picking a job, and even if he only found a temporary job to come back home, that he take it. I did not want a long distance marriage. I hated long distance for as long as we did it, and it does not suit my personality type at all. He ended up finding the right job two months before the wedding.
What worked for us was traveling to see each other every time we could, talking on the phone every night, and FaceTiming a few times a week.
Post # 4
honeynutbeerios : Oh WOW, that’s quite an achievement. I’ve never heard of a couple with that long of an LDR. kudos to them for making it work!
knotyet : Aww, yay! Glad he found a job and could move near you right before wedding planning gets busy. Does he like his job, or was it more of a compromise?
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard
We were long distance for our dating plus engagement because of my husbands job. I was not working so that helped us. It allowed me to be one month with him and one to two months away only. Skype calls and whatsapp calls helped tremendously as well as both being gaming people. Planning my wedding long distance was hard but since I was flexible it was pretty doable, especially with my being able to travel to him as much as I did so I could visit places and see vendors as much as possible in person.
Post # 6
My husband and I have been married just shy of two years and have been long distance since meeting 5.5 years ago. We are an older first time married couple who both have very well established, successful careers in our different cities. My husband does most of the back and forth traveling because he also has an office in my area. But he also travels extensively to other areas so honestly it made more sense for me to stay put to continue to enjoy the fruits of my labor (career, lifestyle, friends, and other interests). I will retire in 4 or so years and then I’ll enjoy work travel with him. But for now, we appreciate every moment of our time together. Of course we wish we could be together more but we are very happy in our relationship. It wouldn’t work for everyone but it works for us!
Post # 7
glutton : He likes his job. It all worked out.
Post # 8
- Wedding: April 2021 - City, State
I am going through this right now with our engagement though with us we are about 3 hours away. He is trying to find a job in my town and I am trying to find a permanent job and we are trying to get it done by September. It is a lot of work to do, especially since sometimes I worry if he can follow through with finding something or if he is taking this seriously, but I kind of like how he put it being that if he wasn’t to follow through, he would disappoint not only me, but a whole lot of other people too and he would never live it down so I have hope that he will follow through.
I mostly just take it one day at a time and have a long engagement and not start planning the wedding by booking stuff until the fall when we will hopefully move in together and have jobs, not sure if this is an option for you, but I need a long engagement anyway to save up and get my job situation settled. I would be surprised if my vocational program doesn’t place me in a permanent job by the fall unless they ended up being really incompetent, but so far I am pretty happy with them and they have been responsive. Right now, we are just getting ideas for our wedding and not committing to anything right now.