Post # 1
I heard a really interesting piece of advice today on marriage – see title. At first I was like “Of course being married should make you happy!” But then I thought more about it and I think it’s really wise.
Getting married doesn’t fix your relationship problems, and it doesn’t make you happier with yourself or your life. The only thing getting married does is legally or socially cement your relationship. But you still have to work – both on your relationship, and on your self. I think a lot of times when couples “aren’t happy anymore” it’s because one or both partners doesn’t like their life, or themselves, and they assume that if they’re not happy it’s because their partner isn’t “making” them happy. But romance is only one small part of life and you can’t focus on that to the detriment of the rest of your life.
Post # 3
Agree! the problems you have pre marriage will still be problems after you are married. Its not some magical thing that makes life better. Its the hard work, dedication and the choice you make every day to love that other person that can make you happy – Marriage itself will not.
Post # 5
I agree, to an extent. I think that the sentence is correct in that being married shouldn’t determine your happiness. However, if you are being healthy, self confident, having your own hobbies, etc. and then come home to someone who is constantly arguing, bringing you down, disrespecting you, then that romance no longer affects just a small part of your life..
ETA: totheislnds I definitely agree with you.
Getting married won’t solve any problems, miraculously fix your relationship, or turn you from sad to happy. I’m just saying that sometimes if someone “isn’t happy anymore” it’s not as easy as doing something for themselves and letting romance be a small part of their life. I am confusing myself now..
Post # 7
Yup, if things weren’t good before the wedding, don’t expect them to be any different after!
Post # 8
I agree completely! So many couples think that getting married will solve all of their problems. Well, it won’t! Just like it’s not about the wedding, it’s about the marriage!
Post # 9
The deacon said this to us at pre-Cana. Wise words.
Post # 10
I agree with PP’s. The problems you have before marriage won’t magically disappear after marriage.
Post # 12
That is a good point. Being married won’t make you happy, but I suppose it could make you UNhappy!
Post # 13
Let me see: Making things easier for us both makes me happier and getting married makes things easier and cheaper than not being married and trying to live a life together. No longer wondering if I will get married again makes me happy, as a Christian woman no longer feeling like a repetitive fornicator will definitely make me happy. On a meaner and more immature side, in your face to a few jealous annoying people who don’t like me for unknown reason already makes me happy. HAHA
Post # 14
I like that. It is a great piece of advice! 🙂
I think a lot of people see marriage as the end of a journey, when really it’s the start of one.
Getting married in of itself won’t make you happy, but what you put in to the marriage will come back to you.
Post # 15
I read the title of this post and though “duh”, sadly tons of people don’t seem to understand that marriage doesn’t “fix” anything.
Post # 16
Totally agree!! I wish more people woudl realized that marriage doesn’t fix any problems. Being married is harder than being in a relationship, because now you have assumed that person’s problems for better or worse!