Post # 1
i am currently in a long term relationship with my SO. We live together and are in our late 30s (me) early 40s (him).
SO is the type to tell me every detail of his day. When he goes out, he’ll text me telling me what’s up, what he’s doing, sends pics, and gets very specific.
He teaches driver education as his full time job and works at a school doing so. He also has a warehouse where he works on and stores some his cars.
A girl who is 17-18 yrs old house-sits for some very good mutual friends of ours and wanted to take some driving lessons. It seems like she may not be able to afford the classes at my SO’s school. Or they’re having scheduling issues.
Last night my SO left the house at 9pm, saying he was going to work on his cars at the warehouse. While there, he didn’t text too much (out of the ordinary for him), just saying he was working on the cars. He finally came home at 2 AM, telling me again that he worked on a few things.
Today, i was having a really stressful day. I was crying about being stressed and then, totally unprompted, he told me that he met this girl at his warehouse late last night and was giving her driving lessons.
Well… I thought it was weird. First that this young girl would be alone very late at night at a warehouse with my SO but the part that bothers me most is that he didn’t say a word about it to me while he was there or when he got home at 2 AM…and then brought it up awkwardly today out of the blue while I was upset about something completely unrelated.
I’m feeling funny about this… or maybe I’m just paranoid. I have been cheated on in past relationships and am sensitive to these things, as he is well aware.
I asked why he didn’t tell me last night and he said he thought I would be mad. Ugh. Any thoughts here?
Thank you for reading the wall of text.
Edited for typos.
Post # 2
A 40 year old man was out until 2 AM with a teenage girl…alone? Who does driving lessons that late?
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2017 - Outside in Paris
I think this sounds very sketchy.
Post # 4
This is not a good look for him, regardless. What kind of idiot spends time with a teenage girl at 2am, especially in the current climate.
Post # 5
Meeting a woman 9pm-2am on a Sunday night? Fishy.
Post # 6
Dear god:/ I was sort of afraid you guys would confirm my discomfort is not totally unfounded. What do I do here? Very awkward since the girl is very close to our mutual friends.
Anybody think I’m overreacting?
Post # 8
Totally suspicious! I’d tell him that if he wants to give her free driving lessons, that’s fine, but it needs to be during the day. Blame it on the current climate, as a PP mentioned. He shouldn’t be giving anyone the idea that something isn’t right between them.
Post # 9
Who takes driving lessons at night? I’m seriously asking. Is that a thing?
He may not have mentioned it Bc he knows it sounds super sketch and then upon reflection realized he really needed to mention it precisely Bc it sounds super sketch. I would say that it was a very bad judgement call on his part, even assuming that everything was as he claims.
Post # 10
Wtf… that’s wrong on a whole lot of levels.
Who takes driving lessons in the dead of night anyway…?
Post # 11
stressedlady : Whether he actually cheated or not I have no idea. But what he did does not sound right and is fishy. I mean… who does driving lessons with a teenager till 2am!? And a bit weird he didn’t at least mention it when he got home.
Post # 12
To the question about the driving lessons at night … there is a large well-lit parking lot at the warehouse in which to practice. The school does do evening lessons in their own parking lot so it’s not unheard of. Still though…
Post # 13
Help, bees. What do I do? Extra awkward because the girl is so close to our friends. 🙁
Post # 14
If it were me, I would talk to him about it. I’d watch his reactions and from there judge whether he is lying.
If he seems to be genuine, inform him its strange and that you would rather he didnt do it again. If he does it again, then it calls for a much more serious conversation.
Maybe he was acting weird as he found it weird himself that she came out so late… teenage girls do all sorts of strange things and there could be a myriad of reasons she went out of the house late at night Boredom, fight with the parents, maybe she has a crush on him and knew he would be there. This may have led to her finding some reason he would let her stay as it is late for her to be out.
If this is the first instance, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. Could just be one of those weird occasions in life where everything looks bad but it isnt.
Post # 15
I can’t say whether he cheated or not; from what you described it sounds like what he “confessed to” was both odd and wrong either way to be out with a teen that late… I don’t understand it.