Post # 1
We got engaged and literally a week after found out I’m pregnant (despite being on the pill). Fiancé is very excited and doesn’t care about the timeline or chain of events. I never announced my engagement right away (on Facebook like most people do. I work there so I keep a lot of my personal life aside). My ring was sizing so I started wearing it weeks after we actually got engaged. Now that I’m pregnant I find it uncomfortable and annoying that people assume we’re getting married because of that. When really the engagement happened first but I just didn’t announce to the world outside my close ones and didn’t wear my ring. I’m almost 4 months and just starting to tell people. Haven’t announced on fb yet and don’t plan on doing it either. People just found out of my engagement because the one thing I did announce and post is engagement photos which we just took. So now when people congratulate me and I say I’m pregnant it annoys me to know they think it is because I’m pregnant. And I don’t feel like explaining to everyone that we actually had a date and paid for the venue before finding out and my ring has been sizing that’s why I don’t wear it . Argh… I wasn’t planning this baby but I’m actually more excited about the baby than wedding now. I hate to care about what people think. Haven’t even told my boss.
would this get to you?
Post # 2
For me, no, becaue I don’t believe in traditional timelines anymore and I’m sort of shocked people want to give you such a hard time when in this day in age it’s odd to find the engaged, married, then babies timeline. To each their own and that goes for you guys. If you’re happy, that’s all that matters. Congratulations x2!
Post # 3
Nope, I wouldn’t give a crap about what anyone said. If I was engaged before or after should be here nor there to anyone! me and Fiance and our closest to us would know what truly happened and that is all that would matter to me.
Post # 4
In any case, it is what it is, so no point thinking about it. Those closest to you will know the truth anyway. These days no one gets married because they are pregnant, so logic says it is because you want to.
I have to laugh at how my mother was about this, she didn’t think pregnancy was such a crime, but she strongly believed in getting married as a result. You didn’t have to stay married, you could get a divorce right after the birth, but in her world you had to be married at some point.
Post # 5
stop caring as much. No one thinks about it as much as you think they’re thinking about it 😉
Post # 6
I’m sorry that you are going through this – my brother & SIL went through this too. You can’t control what people say, and it can totally kill the excitement that you are getting married! and having a baby! Woohoo!
As futuremrscrow said, those closest to you will get it, and will support and stand up for you. Don’t let the busybodies take away from celebrating. It’s not always easy to ignore, but that doesn’t mean you have to politely smile through it either. It’s ok to let people, especially anyone you don’t really know well, that their comments are not respectful.
For people you do know or extended family, if you feel they will question you about it (which they shouldn’t), you and your Fiance can come up with a standard line – “We’ve been planning our wedding for a while, but kept the engagement quiet until we had venue and date sorted”
Post # 7
From your post, it sounds like nobody is saying anything, you just feel like they’re thinking
something. They probably aren’t. Even if they are, who cares? If they are nosey enough to actually say something, I could see that getting annoying. The best response would be to say with a slightly quizzical look “why do you ask/say that?” But if it’s just you worrying that they MIGHT possibly think something, that’s an issue for you to work out within yourself.
Post # 8
if it makes you feel any better, I was pregnant at my wedding. No one cared 😁
Post # 9
Hey, I’m the result of a pre-marriage conception. It’s all good. Don’t worry about what people think, they can all take a flying leap. What’s important is that you’re marrying a great guy and building a family. No explanations necessary. Congratulations and feel well!
Post # 10
Being pregnant has been the happiest time of my life … followed closely by being engaged. You’ve got so much to be excited about … don’t let worrying about other people’s opinions ruin that for you. The best piece of advice I’ve ever gotten is “what others think of you is none of your business”. If they want to focus on their own misconceptions, that’s their fault!
To answer your question, being in your situation wouldn’t have bothered me in the slightest. Congratulations and enjoy every minute!
Post # 11
I was in a slightly relatable situation. We got engaged in August 2014, and booked our wedding for May 2016 – paid the deposit, had vendors booked, etc. Then in July 2015, the weekend we moved into our first house, we found out we were pregnant (same as you, not planned). So we decided to move the wedding up to September 2015 so we could be married before the baby came. Despite getting engaged a year before our wedding, and almost a full year before getting pregnant people still insinuated we were only getting married because I was pregnant. It was frustrating because obviously the wedding was in the works before the pregnancy but things happen and you just go with it and adjust your plans accordingly.
It bothered me for sure that people thought he was only marrying me because of the baby but at the end of the day the important people knew the truth. From my experience I think it will come to bother you less and you will be to focused on all the amazing things happening in your life to worry about what others think. Congratulations on both your engagement and your baby, enjoy this amazing time in your life! 🙂
Post # 12
Congratulations! Don’t let people get to you. They can think whatever they want. It is what it is. In a few years most people won’t realize that you were pregnant before the wedding anyway.
Post # 13
No this would not get to me. Because, f*ck people. You dont owe them an explanation. As long as you and Fiance are okay with the chain of events that is all that matters. Congrats on you engagent and pregnancy! :)) and good luck with both, that’s a lot on your plate, but it’s happy stuff so yay! 🙂
Just wanted to add that for me personally the traditional timelines kinda matter (for my life) and it has nothing to do with what people think, it’s what I want/think. I have 0 judgement for anyone, and anyone’s timelines, and you shouldnt care what people think as long as you are happy! 🙂
Post # 14
No it wouldn’t. I’m Catholic and traditional and I would not have a problem with the pregnancy before marriage, nor would I assume it was a 1950s shotgun marriage!!! I would be thrilled with the upcoming baby and with my upcoming wedding!!
Post # 15
I would like to claim idgaf but it would bother me too.. So many marriages do take place because of pregnancy or the couple already having a child together. Its unfair that you get the judgement too but I don’t know theres anything you can do. Aside from mentioning that you were already engaged prior to but most women claim that anyway. Congrats on both happy events!