(Closed) being pushed to cut my hair.

posted 4 years ago in Beauty
Post # 3
2809 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

it’s your hair. on your head. on your body.

if you want it long, keep it long. they’ll get over it. it’s your hair, which means it’s your decision.

Post # 4
6746 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’d start off nicely and maybe show them the updo you want to do and explain how important it is for you to grow your hair out for that updo and that you would appreciate their support.

If they don’t stop, then tell them to shove it. 🙂

Post # 5
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Rinse and repeat my hair I do what I want with it. 

Post # 6
41 posts

As PP said, its your hair, so its really not theirs to worry about.


If you want them on board with your grow-out, though, try showing FI and your future MIL a few photos of the long-hair-necessary updos that you like. Maybe once they see your inspiriation, they might be more supportive.

Post # 7
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Maybe you could try to talk with your FI one on one, and you can explain to him why you want to grow out your hair and how it makes you feel when he and his mom get on your case about it.

Then maybe having him on your side will make it easier to talk to your FMIL about it. Maybe he can even mention to her to stop getting on your case.

Post # 8
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@jbbs1222:  Don’t pay attention to them and do your hair how you want to. Just keep in mind that you still need to get regular trims (depending on your hair type) if you want to keep you hair looking healthy. For my hair I also have to get keratin treatments because of how frizzy/dry it is. Long hair takes work so I can’t wait to cut mine short again.

Post # 9
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Tell you Mthat hat she looks better with her opinions to herself and her mouth shutTongue Out

and for your FI explain that it needs to be long enough for the updo but as soon as the wedding is over you will cut it…. tell him to compromise 

Post # 10
2955 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

@jbbs1222:  Don’t cut your hair now because longer hair is sooo much easier to style for different wedding day looks.

Maybe after the wedding but I’d definetly leave it long for now.

Post # 11
4685 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

It’s your hair!

Post # 12
974 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Your hair, your choice.

If you haven’t, explain “This is what I want, this is important to me.”

After that just keep saying “Thanks for your opinion, but I draw the line at cutting my hair.”.  Over and over and over as needed.

I had to do this regarding make up with my best friend and MIL.  After a while I dropped the “Thanks for your opinion” part lol… “No, I draw the line at makeup.”.  They were both super nice about it, but are both the types that barely leave the bedroom without makeup on.  I was 36 when I got married and have only worn make up for a few months in middle school just so my mom and I would quit fighting about it and I could say “I tried”.

DH doesn’t care about makeup and figured it would be weird if I wore it so he was on my side.  I can only imagine how frustrating it is for you to have him pushing you also. 🙁

Post # 13
8997 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Last time you checked, your hair was growing out of your head, right?

I’d tell those people to take a long walk off a short pier.


Post # 14
2115 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

FI has never seen me with long hair and I’m growing it out as well. I think the last time my hair reached past my shoulders was when I was in 8th grade. Been a while. It hasn’t gotten long enough to comment yet, so we’ll see. As far as your situation, ask what they were wanting to see your hair like. Maybe they think you can do more with shorter hair than you really can? Or at least you can say what you don’t like about it. Then show them what you want and explain why it’s better.

Post # 16
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I have to put up with this as well; both my mother and my FI can’t fathom why I don’t like wearing my hair down, since I look “so much better” without it pulled back.  I’ve tried explaining how uncomfortable it makes me to have my hair flying all over the place (I don’t like it touching my face), but FI thinks I just need to “get used to it”.  Funny, but he didn’t like my suggestion that he grow out his hair and just get used to it, since he complains if he goes too long between haircuts and his hair starts touching his ears.  I spent a decent amount of time putting it up in a pretty style for my engagement party recently, and when my mother found out that I was planning on having it up for the pictures everybody wanted to take, she was really surprised, as if she didn’t understand why I thought putting it up counted as “doing my hair”.  Honestly, if she brings it up again, I’m going to remind her about all the times she asked me “when was the last time you brushed your hair? It looks so messy and stringy!” when I was a kid.  I’ve tried wearing my hair down – unless I carry a brush in my pocket and brush my hair every 20 minutes, it’s going to look stringy.  That’s just the way my hair is.  Now I can’t wear it down without feeling incredibly self-conscious and running to a mirror to fix it.  Thanks for the self-confidence boost, Mom!

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