(Closed) Being \"ready\" for marriage

posted 5 years ago in Engagement
Post # 17
Member
27 posts
Newbee

In my opinion I think it comes down to his age. 25 years old for a man is still very young, so although he has those intentions and feelings he genuinely isn’t ready. You are both young – if you were 28 and him 30 with the attitude, different story, but his young and has every right to feel this way. Not one of the twenty five year old men I know are even in a relationship. 

My cousin is now 30 her man 32 and they just got engaged after eight years ! She wanted to be engaged for years, but she loved him and she waited and he finally bloody did it and now they are happy. I’m not saying you need to wait until your 30 but another two years won’t kill you if you love him ? Marriage is not the be all and end all.

a lot changes from when you are 21-30. Be patient and enjoy your relationship without limitations and it will happen 🙂 

Post # 18
Member
1449 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Please don’t take this as patronizing, but you are still very young. He is also very young. I’m not sure how long you’ve dated for but both of you have so much time to figure out who you are and what you want from life before getting married. I highly recommend taking that time. 

“I feel them too, and I know I am not “ready” but like I said I’ve never believed that we are “ready” until we go for it.” 

I used to believe that too. When I was younger. And then I got married young and realize what a fallacy that way of thinking is. You should feel more ready than just wanting to “go for it”. Marriage is not something to just wing it. 

Post # 19
Member
1440 posts
Bumble bee

You’re never ready for something until you actually do it.”

I don’t think this is true. My husband and I had no doubts whatsoever. We were both 100% ready. 

Now, I do think that’s true for some people and of you both were in your 30s and had been together for many years, I would agree that could be the case. 

But you’re both still young! He’s 25 and not feeling ready, I say that’s understandable. Don’t force him into doing something he doesn’t feel ready for because it will just end badly.

Post # 20
Member
2451 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

 

View original reply
Xelda : I don’t think a 25 year old not being ready to get married to a 21 year old is grounds for therapy. 

Post # 21
Member
2451 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
Xelda :  You are 21. What is the rush?

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