(Closed) Being the “And Guest”

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think if you know the person’s name, you should use it.  I would only use “and guest” if I were extending the courtesy to a truly single friend- in which case they could bring any ole’ “and guest” with them.

Post # 5
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think every effort should be made if you know they would be the guest to actually write there name. Im sorry but I think your friends fiance is just being a bit of a pain.

Post # 6
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

some people are still somewhat clueless.  my cousin put my Fiance as my “plus one” when we are getting married one month after her and had already sent her a save-the-date.  Try to let it go!

Post # 8
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ohmybears48:  Do you and your Fiance live together?

If so, your name should definitely be on the invitation.

If not, he could have just been being careful. I know we sent one invite to a friend and put his gf’s name on the invite too and the invite got returned since she didn’t live at that address.

So we had to send a second one to him “and guest” even though we knew her well and she was a friend of ours as well.

Post # 9
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I always put the guest’s name if I knew who the guest would be. I’d never write “and guest” if the couple was engaged. I got called “and guest” when my husband and I were engaged and I was a little bummed.

Post # 10
Member
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think she’s doing it to piss you off. I sought out the name of every SO that I knew my friends had.

Post # 11
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ohmybears48:  Ah ok. Then your name should have 100% been on it!

Post # 12
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If you know who the guest will be you should put their name. That being said some people really don’t understand the etiquette of invitations and the proper wording so I wouldn’t let it bother me. I have a friend who swears up and down putting ” and Guest” is the only way to do it. I say whatever, I know *I’m* the guest regardless of how something is addressed. 

If it makes you feel any better my Future Mother-In-Law addresses things sent by mail to my 4 year old” to My son’s name c/o my fiance’s name” Even though my fiance is his step dad and clearly had nothing to do with my child being created. She dislikes me that much I don’t even get an ” and guest” :p 

Post # 14
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It kind of cracks me up. I know she is crazy cray so I just take it in stride. I know the child is mine, I have the c-section scar to prove it :p 

Post # 15
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am crazy anal retentive about trying to make sure I put anyone’s SO’s name on the invitation–some of FI’s extended family I don’t know so it’s been a chore.

The worst though, is that one of FI’s groomsmen was separated from his wife, and between the last time we spoke to him (the week before Save the Dates went out) and mailing them, they suddenly and unexpectedly reconciled…so now the one they received says “Mr. XYZ and Guest” and not “Mr. and Mrs.”.  I know it’s not my fault but she is known to have a crazy temper and I was hoping that didn’t set her off! 

And almost as bad, FI’s Aunt Marcia–I used Excel/Word mail merge and for some reason it spell checked Marcia into Marsha (no idea why) and I sent the STD like that…we got a very polite but pointed note from her asking about accommodations and correcting the spelling.  Since I’m so sensitive to try to get it right I was NOT happy, and embarrassed.  Now I’m going to send her a note apologizing. 🙁

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