You aren’t married yet… so how you choose to divide up your money could be quite different now than it will be afterwards (IMO as it should be)
BUT once you are married, most experts will say, that the most successful relationships find a way NOT TO FIGHT / NIT-PICK ABOUT MONEY
(Money, Finances, etc, being one of the greatest causes of divorce)
The BEST model is for ALL the income coming into the home be combined, then the required elements withdrawn from the pot (monthly expenses)… and then Joint Savings (be they long term or short term). And then the remaining amount divided into 2 equal lots. Lot One is given to you, and Lot Two is given to him. From each of your lots you should be dividing them into again equal parts… one part for your Personal Retirement Accounts, and the other bit is for your Spending Money.
In this way…
All the required bills are paid.
Joint savings for Long Term & Short Term goals are met (be it a Downpayment for a House, or savings for a Vacation next summer, piece of furniture, boat, whatever)
And you’ve taken care of your Retirement Funds in equal amounts.
And you’ve got an equal amount of money to blow on whatever your heart desires.
— — —
Now truthfully… if this financial model doesn’t work for you… then YES there could be problems for you two in the future in your relationship in regards to finances, cause clearly you guys aren’t “team players” when it comes to money.
BIG RED FLAG
The idea of 50/50 or any other percentage… only goes so far. Eventually it catches up with the couple… in that the lower earner will end up being continually punished for earning less, and therefore having less in the relationship.
MY BEST ADVICE… You guys need to have a heart to heart. And then go see a couple’s counsellor that specializes in finances. (Or watch some of Gail Vaz Oxlade’s “Till Debt Do Us Part” shows).
Cause ya, it can be a major hurdle… and cause it isn’t JUST ABOUT MONEY (as you’ve so rightly pointed out… it is also about the fact that Men & Women ARE Different from one another in how they tend to relate to stuff in a relationship… including Money).
Hope this helps,