(Closed) Being the GF of a Chef…not so fabulous…

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i wondered how the hours work for a chef, lunchtime and then dinner time – do they come home in between the 2 meals, stay at work prepping??

Post # 18
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@eloping: Mine stays at work in the kitchen ALL.DAY.LONG. Cleaning/prepping…there is always something to do.

Post # 19
Member
2468 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

my husband loves cooking and has “trailed” in a restaurant kitchen where his buddy is a sous chef a few times, but the hours/schedule are what’s keeping him from actually pursuing it for real…i totally sympathize, i kind of worry that hubs is going to want to quit his (standard-schedule) job for a kitchen, and it would just be so hard

Post # 20
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I hear ya, OP.

SO and I are both pro cooks, and working in the same kitchen, no less.  If I wasn’t in the industry, I don’t know how I would deal with it.  As it is, we rarely have the same days off and we’re both so tired at the end of a shift that the time we do get to spend together is on the couch with take-out. 

I have a total love-hate relationship with the food industry.  =/

Post # 21
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

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@eloping: Sandollar is right on this one — cooks prep between lunch and dinner service.  Between 3 and 5 PM is the only real down-time in a kitchen and there’s A LOT to get done.

Post # 23
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee

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@eloping: Man, what I would do to see him for a couple hours between the meals. 🙂 It’s an all day process.

It’s amazing how something as wonderful as good food can cause such personal strife.

Post # 24
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@Mrs.Lonestar: We got engaged last October after 2 years of dating…and moved in together last December. Things were much better for awhile because he had a job with “normal” hours and staff that showed up.

Jump ahead a few months and he’s had 2 heart attacks and took back an old job where he is appreciated but it’s a 1/2 hour commute and in the middle of nowhere so he can never find kitchen staff to stay.

Not only do I feel sorry for myself for being lonely, but I’m afraid he’s just going to drop dead. His doctor told him to take time off and that we needed a vacation together and he didn’t do that either.

I DID tell him this week that enough was enough and he’s been applying for jobs closer to home and HOPEFULLY he’ll get a #2 position so he has more freedom. i don’t care if he makes less money. There are SO many things more important! Stubborn,stubborn,stubborn…

We have just over a year before our wedding. I wanted a long engagement just for this reason. If he can’t make the lifestyle changes he needs to I don’t know if I can go through with it. I think I’d be setting myself up for failure.

I’m no gem myself. I only work 4-5 hours a day and I’m in my 40’s with no children…my friends have moved on without me…I’m a homebody….I have many good acquaintances but few “buddies.” I know I need to find something to keep busy. Still, seeing him for 1/2 hour in the AM and 1/2 hour in the PM just doesn’t cut it. He knows. He seems to be trying to change his situation at the moment but it’s never fast enough.

Post # 26
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I have an update:

 

Fiance had a heart attack on Sunday. He is OK and is taking some time off.Frown

 

He just wore himself out. He’s been sleeping for 2 days and I’m finally starting to see glimpses of the man I met. He’s definitely not going back to work at the same place. Will keep you guys posted. What a rough week!

 

Post # 27
Member
3981 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My husband is a Shef! Does that count! It’s our last name. I even made his a Chef Shef apron for the fun of it. He may bot be an actual Chef but our hours conflict COMPLETELY. I usually work night shifts while he goes ot class/work during the day so I totally understand. We just have to throw our temper tantrums every now and then, get moody and upset about it, and then realize it is for our future. Put our big kid pants back on and battle through it. Oh and date nights. Scheduled date nights. They saved our relationship!

Post # 28
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m a pastry chef. But I got pretty lucky with my job.  I got a job working for a company that caters only breakfast and lunch.  I also make desserts for a restaurant that is affiliated with the caterers.  But I have all holidays and weekends off.  But I do work 4:30pm – whenever (usually midnight, but sometimes as late as 5am).

Post # 29
Member
3981 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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@SandyDollHair: Whoah! I just saw this! I am so sorry! I will keep him in my prayers.

Post # 31
Member
5385 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

My brother is in the restaurant business and his hours are like that. He misses out on so much. The pay is good, he enjoys it, but his ex complained about it (that is not the reason why she is his ex). 

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