(Closed) Being the Ringless One on Thanksgiving…

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I totally feel you. I am hopefully getting my ring soon since I know it’s been ordered and all of that. However, it wont be before tomorrow and I will still be “the girlfriend” and he still “the boyfriend” around all of our married siblings. It’s frustrating that’s for sure.

Happy Almost Turkey day to you too!!

Post # 4
Member
222 posts
Helper bee

@izziebear: I can completely relate! SO comes from a big extended family. We’ve been dating for three years and they’ve been treating me like his wife forever (which is nice of course), we’re all friendly and get along amazingly well. Then here come the Holidays again and I’m feeling pretty craptastic because 85% of my friends are now engaged etc. It’s not that I want to jump head first, it’s that I’m ready. We’ve been dating for 3 and living together for 1.5, everything has been going great. We’ve always been open with eachother and marriage, kids, weddings, etc have been discussed in the past. He has even said to me there is only one place left for us to go (marriage). So I don’t know what his hold up is!!! I had asked him and he said “finances” but I’m not particularly happy with that “logic”.

Sorry turned into a vent, haha. But I totally feel your pain =)

Post # 6
Member
302 posts
Helper bee

I know what you mean.  He has 2 brothers, and one is married with a kid, the other has a kid, too.  The older nephew sometimes calls me “Aunt XXXXX” and it feels awkward to me–not because I don’t like him or don’t want that, but I don’t feel like I “earned” being called that yet.  His SIL is super nice and had to go thru a long wait, too, and she sympathizes.  I just feel like all of his and my family are waiting to officially be family but it’s going to be just that–waiting–and it sucks.  I was hoping to go into the holidays engaged so I wouldn’t have to announce it separately, I could do it all at one time, but I don’t think that will happen 🙁

@SunriseMidwest: I agree that it shouldn’t just be “finances”.  The ring doesn’t have to cost the same as a house down payment, I just want something to know he is committed.  I’m sick of the excuses!

I feel like I always rant a little, but can you tell I’m getting frustrated/impatient??

Post # 7
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I feel you. My SO is the oldest of all the grandkids, and a lot of them are married. To top it off, while we’re talking about getting engaged before like April… well his little brother will be proposing to his girlfriend sometime between now and Christmas. I’m happy for them, but I feel so left out!

Post # 8
Member
384 posts
Helper bee

oh gosh yes I can relate.  YOu know what else I’ve been doing lately that really annoys me?  In meetings at work, I’ve noticed that I look at people’s ring finger to see if they are married and quite often I am the only unmarried in the meeting.  Now that’s ridiculous. 

I do know, and am relieved, that at my Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow there will be 10 people.  4 are not married!  YAY!!

Post # 10
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@izziebear:Last year at this time I was waiting too…and did all the same things. I would get SO down thinking about everyone else’s rings, and wondering how they’re engaged and I’m not, etc. I will tell you though that as an engaged/married person you don’t look at the girl who’s not engaged and think, “oh, no ring”. You look at the girl and think, “wow, I love those jeans”, or “she’s so great, can’t wait till he makes it official.” What I’m trying to say is, it’s all in your head. You just have to try to realize that it’ll happen for you when it’s right to happen, and/or when he gets it together. Try not to compare/contrast because on the other side of the pond, once the ring is on, it’s not the main focus.

Post # 12
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Dont feel bad!! I feel like that is a totally natural feeling. Especially if you have been to many family dinner and your still the girlfriend. The Holidays seem to make this point so vivid that your ringless somehow. You’ll make it through!!! Sometimes I try think its a little better than better totally single for the holidays and everyone asking you if your dating someone special? It’s always something lol

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