Post # 1
I got into an argument with a friend about the appropriateness (or lack there of) of telling something something is bad for their health and am curious how the hive would approach something like this.
We have a mutual friend we’ve known for 20 years. This friend has always had an issue with her weight. She has other medical issues (throid) and typically doesn’t particuarly watch what she eats or like exercise.
The issue is over her soda consumption. Whenever we get together with her, she’ll typically drink a soft drink. My friend wants to point out research to her on why soda consumption is bad for her. My feeling is – she already knows it’s not the most healthy and is choosing to do it regardless and doesn’t need anyone telling her that it’s not healthy.
I get why the other friend wants to bring it to her attention. I really do. She hopes it will be our friends ‘ah-ha’ moment and she’ll decide to ditch her beloved soda and opt for a healthier choice.
I’m not sure if this plays into it – but I’ve always struggled with my weight and the friend who wants to share this brilliant info has not…. I wonder if she’d be more sensitive about it if she knew how hard it is to make a change and/or struggle with all the social things that are associated with being on the heavy side….
Post # 3
I am soooooo strongly on your side of this topic. I could be your (overweight) friend. I am overweight and have been for a long time. I don’t eat right and I don’t exercise enough. Believe me, ignorance is NOT the problem. Anyone who doesn’t know soda is terrible for you has been living in a hole for the past 10 years and is honestly probably too stupid to have ever been your friend anyways— so she is aware. If a friend of mine ever tried to comment negatively on what I eat/drink, honestly it would be almost a friendship ender for me. Even if it was well intentioned, I do not feel like it would change my mind about anything, and it would just make me feel SUPER uncomfortable around that person from there on out. I would basically feel like they were judging me and watching my every move. I may be overweight, but I am also funny and kind and smart. I would hope that my friends love me for who I am, and while they may want health for me (as we all do for those we love), I would hope my weight isn’t an issue for THEM. If I felt like someone was watching over me like that, I would just choose not to hang out with them anymore.
Post # 4
It’s not like you’re telling your friend that some random combination of everyday spices has an unexpected side effect— “don’t mix rosemary and garlic with cinnamon or it makes you hallucinate” (lol which of course it doesn’t, just giving an example). She’s a grown-up and she knows that sodas are empty calories, and most likely even knows that diet sodas can prove detrimental to weight loss efforts. No point in bringing it up, as it won’t give her that a-ha moment, and is only likely to cause hurt feelings and conflict.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
I drink energy drinks occasionally & there’s this lady at work who will tell me EVERY TIME how bad it is & all. I do know that it isn’t great for me but I still don’t need her input. Who is someone else to judge how long I want to live or what to do with my body. I eat fast food & drink alcohol sometimes too. Sue me! Although I’m not overweight & pretty healthy last time I check, my situation is a bit different than your friend’s, but I’d still leave it be, especially if you value her feelings & your guys’ friendship. She could feel offended & off put by this. I’m sure she knows that soda isn’t good for her, but ONLY SHE CAN CHANGE FOR HERSELF!
Post # 6
@oracle: It kind of depends on the situation. I’m a smoker, so it’s not like I need someone to tell me that smoking is bad for me. I already know, and I’m fairly certain there aren’t many smokers out there that are blissfully unaware of the possible health risks.
That being said, your friend probably knows that pop is bad for her and is likely contributing to/exacerbating her weight problem. Is your friend looking for diet tips? Trying to lose weight? Improve her overall health? If not, I would keep my mouth shut. Only if she directly asked for help or said something along the lines of “I just don’t understand how I gain weight so easily,” etc would I actually pipe up with some information.
Post # 7
Personally, I wouldn’t bring it up with her. Everyone knows that pop is just liquid sugar and is terrible for you, so I’m sure it isn’t going to be some sort of wake up call for her.
On the other hand, I became aware a few years ago about GMOs and hormones used in our food. I do think it’s important for people to know these kinds of things so they stop unknowingly consuming cancer causing products. It isn’t really the type of thing people want to hear about, but I’ve found that people actually listen to you when you approach it in a conversational way instead of an interventional way.
That said, it isn’t anyone’s place to tell someone they NEED to stop doing something. I would be very offended if someone walked up to me (even a friend) and told me that the Coke I was drinking was going to kill me someday.
Post # 8
I wouldn’t say anything. She is an adult and can make her own choices. I’m sure she knows soda isn’t the healthiest option (I’m a big pop drinker and I certainly know I could choose healthier things).
I’m sure your friend doesn’t ALWAYS choose the healthiest option available either. Most people don’t. That’s life.
Post # 9
I’m with you on this. I, too, struggle with weight issues because of my thyroid. I have a coworker that seems to be obsessed with what everyone eats, does, etc. If I have a piece of brownie that someone brought in, she will tell me that’s why I don’t lose weight. I keep telling her she has no idea about my health issues or anything regarding me personally to sit and judge/tell me what I should or shouldn’t be eating.
Post # 10
First of all, I’m not sure your friend has enough information to conclude that your other friend is consuming too much coke. So she orders one at an occasional lunch–maybe this means she drinks soft drinks with every meal, maybe it means she only orders one when she’s eating out.
Secondly, unless she lives under a rock she probably is aware that soft drinks don’t have a reputation as the healthiest drink. It sounds like your friend doesnt want to share information–she’s trying to give unwanted advice. I say stay out of it.
Edited to fix my terrible phone typing.
Post # 12
Yeah, I say it’s nunya business since everyone knows soda is bad for you.
Post # 13
So the other friend is perfect? Personally, I would be offended if someone said something about my soft drink choice. They do not know what I choose when I am not with them. I would throw a snarky comment back at them.
Post # 14
If she has thyroid issues, she’s heard it all from her doctors for a long time.
I’d let it go. It will only hurt the friendship if it is brought up!
Post # 15
I think it totally depends on the thing… You have to live under a rock to know that soda isn’t good for your health, but I’m ok with mentioning more “little known” facts. Ie I learned and was blown away that sunglasses expire. The cheap ones that are coated are only good for like 30 days of exposure to sunlight and I’ve been mentioning that to some people just as a “did you have any idea??” kind of thing.
Or I’ll sometimes mention things if I think someone is doing something they think is healthy… Which is possibly obnoxious… Like I have a friend that’s always on a diet. We go out for dinner and she orders vodka/water because it “has no calories”. I point out that while water is 0 caloies vodka actually does have ~100 calories/oz.