Being walked down the aisle

posted 1 year ago in Ceremony
Post # 31
Member
1504 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

My husband walked the aisle with his parents at his side and I walked the aisle with both my parents at my side.

Our parents have supported and stood by us our entire lives, and we wanted to reflect that in our ceremony that they continue to support us and stand by us as we made the choice to form our own family unit.

There was no ‘giving away’ symbolism for us, it was about showing support for our choices. 

Post # 33
Member
3141 posts
Sugar bee

My spouse & I walked down the aisle together.  I didn’t want to be ‘given away’ as it felt icky to me.  

Plus, we had a complicated family situation (I’m estranged from one of my parents; the other attended as did my stepmother. And my spouse’s parents are deceased.)

Post # 34
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

My dad walked me down the aisle – it definitely wasn’t anything to do with ‘giving me away’ but it was so nice to firstly travel in the car with him on the way to the ceremony and then he helped calm my nerves as I was walking towards the entrance of the chapel. It was such a nice experience as I don’t get to see him very often 🙂 

Post # 35
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1999 - Tacoma, WA

My dad walked me down the aisle, and it was one of the most special moments of my life. I love looking back at those candid shots; he looks so proud standing next to me. The handshake with my husband at the altar was something I will remember forever.

Also, I don’t see it as my dad ‘giving me’ to my husband. My dad is not my bio father. He met my mom when I was 6 months old and they spilt when I was 3. Regardless, he took me every weekend after that. He taught me how to ride a bike. I lived with him for a couple of years in high school. He never missed one of my softball games. There was NOBODY I wanted there more to support me on the biggest day of my life.

 

Post # 36
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

I walked down the aisle with both of my parents.  It was not at all about giving me away, just making them a part of the ceremony.  I loved it and the pictures of those moments are some of my favorites.  

Post # 37
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee

I walked down the aisle alone. I don’t have the best relationship with my dad, and though I’m close to my mom it’s mostly as an adult. I have been taking care of myself since I turned 18. I put myself through college and graduate school, I paid my own bills, I moved overseas on my own. I am a fully independent woman and at 38 I’ve spent more years taking care of myself than my parents did (add to this the fact that I was the oldest of a large family and spent the majority of my childhood taking care of other people rather than anyone paying special attention to me). I care about my parents and I love my spouse but I liked the symbolism of walking as independently as I have lived my life.  

Post # 38
Member
1452 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@echomomm: Sure, but I actually ended up doing none of the patriarchal bullshit in my wedding.  I wore a very small veil with NO blusher.  Veils were traditionally worn to ward off evil spirits (an idea which I like) in addition to hiding the face of the bride.  My veil did not hide my face.  My dress wasn’t white, we didn’t have a bridal party, no first dance, no cringeworthy bouquet tosses or garter tosses.  Although I had an engagement ring, so did my husband.  We also both had wedding rings, so it’s not like my husband wore the same ring as the engagement ring and wedding ring. I didn’t have a bridal shower, and I didn’t wait for my husband to propose.  We discussed it and mutually agreed to get married.  There was no proposal.  And I certainly didn’t take his name.  100% patriarchy free bride here!

Edited to add that my husband didn’t even have a bachelor party, whereas I had a bachelorette.  None of this was even conscious.  It’s not like I consciously decided I was going to eliminate patriarchy from my wedding.  I guess my husband and I hate it so much we intuitively avoided all the patriarchal elements.

Post # 39
Member
8001 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

View original reply
@yogahammy:  I think that’s awesome! I am all for everyone doing the right thing for themselves. I just wanted to point out that what the “right thing” is can vary from person to person or couple to couple. I’m not sure there’s any universal set of rules, as even feminists can vary in their opinions.

Post # 40
Member
1452 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@echomomm:  Oh totally agreed!  But I just wanted to set the record straight re my wedding and perhaps give OP who seems to be really opposed to the patriarchy appearing in her wedding some ideas.

Post # 41
Member
6371 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

I feel like this is an instance in wedding planning where it doesn’t actually matter what your fiance thinks. If YOU don’t want your dad (or anyone) to walk you down the aisle then that should be your decision. Think about what YOU truly want to do here.

I had both my parents walk me down the aisle because they were both equally important in raising me and helping me to become the person I am today. I didn’t think of it as transactional at all, though I understand how others do feel that way. Basically I just wanted both of them by my side. It was as simple as that. My husband was walked down the aisle as well by his mother (his father had passed away). 

Post # 42
Member
331 posts
Helper bee

My husband and I walked down together. It was a cute moment. We were a little tipsy, both giggling and pinching each other as we walked.

Post # 43
Member
3748 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

It’s your wedding so do what you want. We had an elopement ceremony so no guests and the chapel was so small that there wasn’t really an aisle. I think the bride’s father walking down the aisle is cute–when it is possible. However, I certainly don’t judge someone one way or another if the father does or doesn’t walk the bride down the aisle. The cool thing about wedding is that there are a million different ways that you can get married and they all are valid. 

Post # 44
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee

Both my parents walked me down the aisle—-and both my husbands’ parents walked him down the aisle after me. That way it didn’t feel patriarchical—it felt like we were both leaving our families of origin and comng togethr symbolically into a new family. 

Post # 45
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - Country/barn

View original reply
@lauralaura123:  yep, my dad. Couldn’t imagine him not walking with me down the aisle. 

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors