(Closed) Being with someone who has a childposted 8 years ago in Emotional
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2015 - Los Willows Wedding Estate
I htought the same thing as you did before Fiance and I got together. When we started dating he was technically still married but in the process of divorce and his daughter was 1.5 years old. (i was 17 turning 18).
There were times when I was jealous of his ex cuz they had a “bond” (their daughter), and jealous that he still saw her and talked to her (of course if it only had to do with their duaghter.)
Sometimes I didnt know what my position with the baby was. Im not step mom but Im her dads gf. So I didnt know where I stood.
However the mom tunred out to be a dead beat mom. My Fiance got full custody and I have been raising his daughter as my own for about 3.5 years. His daughter (we will call her K) and I have a tremendous bond because I was the one who played mommy and she knows that (she is now 6). She knows she has her biological mom but she knows that I took her under my wing and raised her (and continue to raise her) as my own. K calls me mom, and I call her my daughter and we are stuck at the hip.
To me a mom is someone who is there for you no matter what and raisies you and teaches you to become a wonderful woman and working memebr of society. I know we are far from that since she is only 6. Anyone can have a child but not everyone can raise one, and not everyone can raise one that is not their own (biologically speaking).
K’s mom recently came into the pic (supposedly changed and whatnot) and I am a little jealous because kids give love even to those who do not deserve it just because their hearts are so ;big and full of love. It’s easy to have someone else raise you kid(s) and you just pop back into the picture after years. However I will never refuse her the right to see and be with her biological mom only because she knows which roles she and I have played in her life.
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
I always thought I would not, but in the end I did. My H has physical custody of his son, the bio mom only has visitation. He was 9 when we started dating and will be 13 next month. Do I regret it? Nope. Is it easy? Hell no. Its not easy only because of the bio mom, who used to be a very close friend of mine, but she is bat shit crazy. Like really crazy – sociopath. I love my step son, we are very close and he is a great child. He puts up with his visits with his mom but he doesn’t enjoy being around her. I had a choice back when we were dating and I am glad I made my choice. We live in a beautiful house, we just had our first child together and I am helping to raise a wonderful kid.
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