(Closed) Believe in Soulmates?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
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2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@mylittleviolett:  real love IS time and patience.   After the honeymoon stage wears off, when you really start to see each other in a different way, as life happens…. You could easily walk away, or you can choose to stay and work through the rough times.  

Post # 33
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9838 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

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@RockStar33:  I agree you can choose to walk away or stay and work things through, but that choice is influenced by whether you love them or not, and I don’t believe loving someone is a choice. 

Like you are more likely to stick around and work on things, through the good and the bad, if the person you are with is ‘the one’ than if it was just someone you were with, that you cared about, but wasn’t your soulmate.

Post # 34
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879 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

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@RockStar33:  You are awesome and you speak my language! 

Post # 35
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2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@Jacqui90:  loving someone is more then just a feeling.   It’s actions.   Actions are things you choose to do.   They are choices you make to show your partner that you want to love them.

 

So you’re saying you can never love someone else?  Isn’t that a choice?  To not let yourself love anyone else?  What if your partner actually isn’t the one?  You won’t know till it’s over right?  So are we all supposed to just give up on all relationships?      What if your partner leaves you?  what if he decides he doesn’t love you anymore?   Then he wouldn’t really have been your soulmate right?

Post # 36
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I don’t, really. I’m not religious, I don’t think god exists let alone plays match maker, so what are the odds that you would even MEET your soul mate, if they were real? Out of more than 6 billion people on earth, we know maybe a few hundred/thousand, and magically the ONE person on earth we are meant for ends up in those few hundred/thousand people? Nope. I just don’t buy it, it doesn’t seem at all logical. I think there are probably many people you could be happy with, and love. 

Maybe ‘soul mates’ are something we make, though- like when we fall in love with someone they become a part of us. I wouldn’t argue with that- I feel like Fiance is a part of me, but I think he became a part of me over time, because we fell in love. I don’t think I feel that way because I only had half a soul until I met him. 

 

Post # 37
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2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@Lovemelovemyhorses:  agree.   I think the word alone shouldn’t be used, after all, it came from mythology!

Post # 38
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9838 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

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@RockStar33:  I didn’t say you can only ever love one person, you can love more than one throughout your lifetime, yes you choose to do actions that demonstrate your love for someone, that part is a choice. But the feeling is not a choice. And the soulmate part? Beyond our control, Fiance is the one for me, and if I lost him, yes I would choose not to be with anyone else. Because I have found my soulmate and that is all I need, besides friends and family. So I guess that is a choice. But soulmates/true love, just is, just happens, you can choose to work on your relationship, you can choose to stay with them, you can choose your actions to demonstrate your love for them, but who they are is beyond our control. 

 

Back when Fiance and I were just friends, my dad and sister joked with me: ‘how about you and Ethan?’ and no joke, I said ‘eww Ethan, no, never.’ Because back then I thought of him as just a friend, we became more than that, much more, but that does not change the fact that he is my soulmate, the One I was meant to be with. I choose to show my love for him every day, I choose to work on the relationship every day, I choose to be in this relationship, but I can’t control how I feel about him or the fact that he is my soulmate. THAT part is out of my hands.

If the relationship doesn’t work, then it doesn’t work, maybe he wasn’t my soulmate, but I believe he is. And I honestly feel and believe that I will love him and be loyal to him until I die.

Post # 39
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I believe in reincarnation and that some people can be connected across lifetimes, not necessarily in a romantic way. Actually I think an ex is my soulmate. We just understand each other in this innate way and I have learned so many lessons having him in my life. We are just friends though… I never had romantic feelings for him the way I do my husband 🙂

Post # 40
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2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@Jacqui90:  please keep talking because you are contradicting everything you are saying and it’s not making sense.

If Ethan was your soulmate….. You would have never said eeew never, you chose to take your friendship to a new level at some point….. Probably after you’d got to know him as a friend and realized you WANTED to be more.   You chose to open your heart to him.   

 

Post # 41
Member
9838 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

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@RockStar33:  I realized I felt more for him yes. I chose to be in a relationship with him yes. But like I said before, finding your soulmate isn’t the same as love at first sight, you may not realize who you have found right away. So when I met him, did I know he was going to turn out to be my soulmate? No. Was I attracted to him at the time? No. Were my feelings strictly platonic for several months? Yes. But that does not change who or what he is, my soulmate. And I am his. I did not contradict myself at all, I said from the beginning that you may not have love at first sight with your soulmate, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are your soulmate.

Post # 42
Member
1098 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

No I do not, I don’t ascribe to any belief that takes away the power I have to run my own life, be it god, fate, luck, karma, or soulmates. 

Post # 43
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2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@Jacqui90:  the idea of a soulmate and there being only one person for you is romantic yes, but Unrealistic.   Thats all I’m saying.    there is more then one person out there for everyone.   If your soulmate dies, you can easily find someone else to commit to and form the same kind of attraction If you allow yourself to.  But people shouldnt have such unrealistic expectations about loving someone and the relationship.     If an elderly couple said they were soulmates, then fine…… They’ve earned it by being together for so long and building their relationship.   As for younger people….  I don’t believe they have that longevity in a relationship to know better.   

So many relationships get chucked at some point because of this whole idea of a soulmate And people thinking that everything shoukd be sunshine and lollipops and when it’s not, they just think meh, must not be the one.   

Your relationship as you describe it, is not considered soulmate to me.   Even though you use the word.   

Post # 45
Member
9838 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

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@RockStar33:  Having a soulmate does not mean you expect everything to be sunshine or lollipops. Far from it. Every relationship requires work. I certainly believe Fiance and I are soulmates, and yes if one of us dies the other could choose to be in a relationship with someone else, they might develop feelings for them even, but that is nowhere near the same as the love he and I share. And we have chosen to stay true to each other, even after one or other of us dies. Because it would be unfair to the person they started a new relationship with, because they know they aren’t right for each other, and because it is disrespectful to the memory of the soulmate.

Post # 46
Member
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Not really sure.

 

I love my husband and things just feel ‘right’ in my gut, but I didn’t have that feeling straight away. 

 

I’ve felt more overpowering sexual chemistry with other people, the kind where if you also hit it off you go ‘oh my god this person is amazing’… but I don’t think they are my ‘soul mates’. 

 

I know I made the right choice in marrying my wonderful husband, but if I had of held off and hung out for the ‘soul mate’ feeling straight upon meeting a person who knows how long it would have taken…? I want to build a life with someone amazing and my husband is that person. 

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