(Closed) Benefits of Age!

posted 6 years ago in 40 Something
Post # 3
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Yep, we’re here!  Check out the 40 something board for a whole bunch of us.

Post # 4
Member
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hi @Blackie: well said…

I couldn’t agree more.

Ya sometimes it sucks to know that the 25 Year old inside my head, is less than half the person the rest of me is (I’m over 50… if I’m truly honest, I’m pushing 60.. YIKES… how did that happen?)

BUT then you are sooo right.

I too read / replied in that topic… I remember how it felt to be much much younger.  And all the fretting we did trying to “read” stuff into a situation…

Do we kiss enough – Does he like it – Am I as good as his last Girlfriend – Do we have Sex enough – too much.  Do I please him – What can I do better in the Bedroom – What can I do better outside of the Bedroom.  Does he love me… truly love me.

Ack… self-doubt.  It is enough to give a girl a major headache !!

And a HUGE time waster !! 

Example…

My body ain’t what it used to be… but at the same time, I don’t fret about it sooo much either

Lol, IF ONLY I had this knowledge way back when

When I was in my 20s and 30s, and about 130 lbs, and spent all that wasted effort on self-criticism and thinking that I looked fat !!

Seriously… If ONLY I could rewind… I’d slap that young gal upside the head and say… “Look you crazy nutbar… you have an amazing body… and this is well as good as it gets… so throw on that bikini… and get to H3LL out there !!”

Today, I care maybe in someways a lot less about how my body looks (with age comes reality)… BUT a lot more now about how well that body is doing… and IF it can carry me along for another 30 or 40 years

On the same note, it is super nice to have found love again at this point in my life…

Mr TTR loves me for me… and the person I am on the inside… so ALL my good qualities… my compassion, my intelligence etc.

He thinks I’m HOT because of WHO I am FULL PACKAGE, not just the fact that I big boobs etc.

And we are getting it on (or thinking about it)… we don’t envision / dwell on the imperfections that time has brought to our bodies…

We just focus on the fact that we love each other… and how much we want to be together (be that sex, or just the fact that we can’t seem to have enough of each other in our lives)

As he’s told me, who too learned this life lesson the hard way.  Always falling for girls who looked amazing… (lol men can be sooo shallow)… only later to have his heart broken when he discovered that they weren’t necessarily a good match for him, because they weren’t on the same wave length about life and what really was important.  (YES the hot babe can not only be high maintenance and a lot of work… but they also can be a demanding B!tch… and in the end TOO MUCH DRAMA… His words)

I truly am lovin this part of my life… it feels soooo amazing to have found the love of my life when I truly can appreciate him (BECAUSE of the roads I’ve travelled down before) and the same can be said for his appreciation of me.

We may not have 25 years infront of us as a couple… but we sure as heck are gonna make the most of what we do have… because it is infinitely better this time round !!

 

Post # 5
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Present and reporting for duty.

I commiserate on the body thing…much harder to stay in shape at this age.  But I am with you in the attitude of… this is what life is like and deciding to love myself whatever my shape vs. agonizing over it.

it’s also nice to be the ONLY one of my friends getting married. No one to compete with in terms of wedding  dates or what the wedding looks like.  And my friends are totally mellow as bridesmaids.  They are all just excited to get together since it’s been 20 years since we’ve been together for a wedding.

At this age… who cares what my in-laws think?  I mean, I am fine with having a relationship with them but they have a very minimal impact on our relationship.

TTC? Birth Control? Not issues… .menopause is around the corner.  I mourned not having kids  about 4 years ago…now I have accepted it and moved on.  On  the plus side…we have no mortgage and no college tuitions to save for.  The rest of our lives is our honeymoon.  

And ditto about the wedding day.  It will be very  special – but for me it’s been  more about preparing to receive a sacrament vs. planning a party. 

So- many benefits to being a later in life bride.  

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 6
Member
9231 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

Whoa, so I’m not the only truly seasoned Bee around here?  What a relief.  

I have to agree, there is much more to like about this phase of life when we finally have some perspective.

I’m not going down without a fight, tho.  I’m all about botox, juvederm, et al.  It’s just who I am and according to my therapist, just the way I will age and it’s ok.  I’m at my lowest weight of my life, much lower than I ever thought possible and married to an intelligent, kind and deeply supportive man.

I guess I hang out here thinking I can offer some experience to the younger ones.

 

Post # 7
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Useful to hear some of the practical aspects of the wedding…and I’ve learned about zazzle for custom made  stamps (no one I know over 40 has heard of those).  Weddings are a little different than they were when all my friends got married.  No one had a wedding website and we didn’t have SAY  YES TO THE DRESS.  

Om the other hand – I wore pretty ugly bridesmaid dresses back then.  Now the dresses are so much more classy.

 

Post # 8
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@bunny8:  LOL, on the plus side, so far mother nature is on my side. I am 49 (will be 50 at wedding) and my periods are still regular. If I stay on track for 3 more months, my period won’t be an issue for the wedding (I have a full ballgown and was dreading having to go the bathroom if I had my period) or our Hawaii honeymoon.  So menopause and irregular periods just have to hold off for 4 more months.

But yes, when I read the other boards, I am really happy I am not 25.  It also sounds like men in their thirties have more sexual “issues” than men in their 50’s and 60’s right now too. How did that happen?

Post # 9
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@sassy411:  We can try to offer support but they seem to persist in thinking that they will never find a man after age 23, so they will stick with the jerk they have.

Post # 10
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@nycsa:  I am in the same age range with you.  Had a few men before me who wanted to marry me and I said no.  SO glad I waited.  

Post # 12
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Blackie:  I agree but my 76 year old mother is stressing as badly as any of them abiout the centerpieces and decorations. I get the feeling that she got pushed to the side by her mother and mother in law for her own wedding and didn’t get to make all the decisions so this is her revenge.I just want it to look nice, it doesn’t have to be perfect.

Post # 14
Member
6355 posts
Bee Keeper

Just being more happy and relaxed about life as every year passes. Oh, and all the knowledge I’m accumulating. I’m not even particularly “aged” just yet (early 30s), but I don’t look ahead with the stereotypical dread we women are supposed to as if we were a piece of fruit on a market stand passing its point of ripeness. I never accepted that I was an object for other people’s consumption, not on my wedding day, not on any day… and it’s a good thing too, as who wants to live in a reality where she or he could EVER see him/herself as “overripe”?!

Post # 16
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Blackie:  I have many of the same feelings that you do.  I am shocked by how much posting time is spent on the ring and the dress.  Not sure if it’s a widespread phenomenon or particular to this site.  And, frankly, many of these dresses that I see in the pictures look about the same to me.  It’s almost like a uniform.  Not much uniqueness.  And do their fiances know how critical and obsessed their brides to be are about the ring??  

Sometimes I wonder… so much focus on the wedding.  Have you thought about what you are going to do to make sure you don’t get divorced?  What do you need to do to be the best wife and partner you can be?  I’ve been reading a lot of books about that over the years… not planning the colors of my wedding.

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