(Closed) Bes who DID NOT change their names – WHY?

posted 4 years ago in Traditions
Post # 2
Member
96 posts
Worker bee

I think of myself as a feminist, but I’ll admit that the main reasons I didn’t change my name are the same as yours. I just feel like I am and have always been the person who goes with my name, and while I know that not everyone feels this way, I didn’t want to feel like I was someone else after I got married.

 

Post # 3
Member
4241 posts
Honey bee

I didn’t change my name because I couldn’t think of one good reason why I should.

Post # 4
Member
1377 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I didn’t change because I like my name, it rubs me wrong that women are excepted to change and men aren’t because it’s “tradition”, I didn’t want to file a bunch of paperwork and it has no bearing on my commitment to my husband and my marriage.

Post # 5
Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee

It never even crossed my mind to even to change my name to begin with.

Post # 6
Member
6953 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’m not changing my name because I don’t want to. I’ve done research on the women in my family and it makes me really irritated that I struggle to find them in history due to name changes. It’s like they disappear. That pisses me off.

I’ve told my Fiance he is welcome to call my Mrs. His Name any time he wants but my documents and legal papers will remain under the same name as my degrees and other significant life accomplishments.

Post # 7
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I wont be changing my surname, but my FH will be taking mine. His decision.

Post # 8
Member
2574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I JUST got a new passport and drivers license so I won’t be legally changing anytime soon. (We just got engaged three weeks ago) it is such a hassle to do the paperwork. I am also a teacher and I don’t like the way his last name sounds with a MRS. or MS. in front of it tbh. So I’ll keep my name for practical reasons and because I don’t like the sound of it being said over and over and over again (the life of a teacher). His last name is also really rare so if I changed on social media, all my students could find me easily. 

I will take his LN in social settings “His name, party of two” for instance. 

Post # 9
Member
4037 posts
Honey bee

It made absolutely no sense, to me. And I married in the late 1970s. 

Still happily married …

 

Post # 10
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

These are exactly my same reasons, though I am not getting married until next year. I don’t think I will change my mind about it as our names do not hyphenate well and the attempts to merge our names thus far have been weak. 

Post # 11
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I did not have a reason for why I should. Professionally, my name is printed on my degrees and certificates and I did not want to send them in to be changed. It’s a hassle. Also I am who I am and why should i change mine. I am keeping mine professionally but socially people do call me by his last name and it does not bother me. 

Post # 12
Member
2452 posts
Buzzing bee

I simply didn’t want to.

Post # 13
Member
575 posts
Busy bee

Changing a name across 4 countries and 2 continents is a mess (I had to travel internationally 3 days after my wedding). I have also published under my name and continuing to, so this might create confusion. So, even though I love my husband’s name (and don’t particularly like mine), I didn’t change.

Post # 15
Member
1153 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I was originally going to change my last name to his because I honestly wanted to. I am a bit more traditional in that way I suppose. My fiancé came to me and said that he wanted to take my last name instead and asked if I would be okay with that.

We have an absolutely terrible relationship with his family. His parents were emotionally abusive and we don’t have contact with anyone in his family because they deny the abuse happened and that the family dynamic is toxic and dysfunctional. My fiancé and I were originally going to take his last name and redefine what it meant to be a hislastname.

But when my fiancé came to me he said that redefining what it meant to be a hislastname is already what mylastname stood for, so there was no need for me to change it.

I’m very supportive of the reasons why he wants to change his last name, and I think its cool and unique since not many people do it. We haven’t gotten too many positive reactions from people though. They’re not necessairly negative, you can just tell people don’t know what to say about it. I’ve heard everything from, “Oh that’s iiiinteresting…” to “Is that even legal?” 

 

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