(Closed) Bes who DID NOT change their names – WHY?

posted 5 years ago in Traditions
Post # 16
888 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

The biggest factor in my decision was earning my advanced degrees with my lastname, and publishing scientific manuscripts. After all that work to become Dr. Mylastname, I didn’t want to give it up!

Also, DH’s name is so rare and long that NO ONE can spell it correctly, which means he’s constantly spelling it out and correcting it over and over again on important documents. Such a pain!

Now the question is… if we have kids, will they have my name, or his, or some new combination of the two?

For those of you who kept your names, if you plan to have kids, what last name are you planning to give them?

Post # 17
258 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
LittleByLittle :  When I have kids, my children will have their last name and all their middle names will be my last name. I honestly feel like it’s a personal decision, whether to keep your last name, and I also think there is a lot less pressure to have that expectation. My husband said something really sweet and was like I met and fell in love with you as (original first and last name), I don’t need you to change your last name for me. 

As something fun we did on social media, I changed my last name to his, and he changed his last name to mine’s.

Post # 18
4807 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
RosaBride :   Partly because I have a feminist streak and partly because I have been published and have made a name for myself in my field.  


Post # 19
20 posts
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Hotel Phillips

1) We were about to move (dual military) and all my orders/documents were in my maiden name. It would have been a nightmare to get those changed or to have to explain the name change.

2) Too much paperwork, period.

3) I like my last name better. I couldn’t get him to agree to decide on a new name for both of us either. 😉

That being said, I plan on changing my name around the 2 year mark. I just want the same last name as my kid. 🙂

Post # 20
584 posts
Busy bee

I like my name and I don’t want to do the paperwork.

Post # 21
145 posts
Blushing bee

Im not because his last name is the most common name ever… Just guess! However I probably wouldn’t have changed it if it was a different last name for all of the previously mentioned reasons even though Fiance would have liked for me to :/

Post # 22
2010 posts
Buzzing bee

Because why would I change it? I don’t need his last name. He can take mine if he’d like. I like my name. It’s who i am.

Post # 23
119 posts
Blushing bee

1) I like my name. 

2) Changing it would have given me the same initials as his mother, whom he is not very close/friendly with. 

3) I pretty much dreaded the idea of the paperwork and special trips required to change my name.

4) My husband had no preference one way or another and said I could do whatever I want.  

5) We are CFBC so we aren’t concerned about any name confusion that would potentially come up with that. 

6) My father is a very well-liked, respected guy in our community, and I like being associated with that. Our last name is unusual so people always say, “Oh, are you XYZ’s daughter?!” and it’s a great conversation starter. I really would have missed the conversation starter aspect of my name the most, to be honest!

Post # 24
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

View original reply
LittleByLittle :  I always figured the kids would have his as his name is a bigger deal to him from a cultural standpoint (oppressed indigenous people background here). My mom has a different last name as me, never caused our family any issues and no one ever questioned our relationship (hint to the naysayers, the mom is generally the one the kid calls “mom” and is huggy and affectionate with).

Post # 25
2864 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Because I don’t define myself in terms of DH so why go through the trouble and expense of doing something that adds zero value? Not to mention the potential for confusion. 

Post # 26
2303 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess

1. I like my name

2. I’m lazy

3. My husband said he didn’t care either way

4. I still don’t have a marriage license and we’ve been married for almost a year, so there’s that. 

Post # 27
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I’m still debating but the paper work and the fact that my husband doesn’t care isn’t really motivating me haha

Post # 28
1707 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I kept my name because I was 32 with an established career and accomplishments with that name. I have always been Lindsay E.  

And also – I didn’t see why I should have to be inconvenienced and have to take a day or more out of my life to change my name on all of my Ids and bank accounts and etc. I don’t have time for that!

Post # 29
325 posts
Helper bee

I haven’t even decided yet but I’m leaning more towards not changing it. It really depends how I feel. I don’t care for my last name but…paperwork and standing in long lines is my idea of hell and my fiance doesn’t care. I told him don’t be surprised if I decide to just not change it and go by his name socially but not legally. He just shrugged.

Post # 30
510 posts
Busy bee

Not changing my name Bec it’s something I will always have from my dad. Partner also thinks it’s strange for a woman to change their last name just because she got married – partner comes from a family where women keep their own names. Plus his mother and grandmother are very well known people where they are from so they have a strong family name (on the mother’s side).  The street of Partner’s family home where he grew up is named after his mother’s family name 

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