Post # 32
I just had to chime in.
Last year, my now fiance (then boyfriend)’s brother got married. He was married on a Saturday, and it was lovely.
His grandmother (who is very well loved) had her 90th birthday coming up I think a week or two later. Now, this is a milestone birthday, and everyone was in town… so what do you think happened?
Nope- not a bday/wedding celebration, the grandmothers daughter (fiance’s mother) had everyone over for a birthday celebration for the grandmother THE DAY AFTER THE WEDDING.
TOTALLY appropriate. Why anyone would think to handle this any other way is batshiznat crazy to me!
You are totally justified in your anger and frustration and it’s amazing your fiance is the sweet giving man that he is considering the info on his family. Yikes! (but good for him!)
Post # 33
That’s crazy! To go around telling everyone she’s paying. What a slap in the face for your family! That actually sounds like some my Future Mother-In-Law would do, although she isn’t even invited to the wedding.
Hope it all works out for you and your FI!
Post # 34
This is woman turning 10!!?? Her birthday isn’t even the same day as your wedding, what ridiculous behaviour. It sounds like she may possibly be purposely trying to take attention away from you.. just a thought.
All I can say is stick to your guns, don’t let them make you feel bad, and good luck with dealing with that crazy woman!!
Post # 35
Thanks for the support everyone! We are going over FI’s moms house later on today to have “the talk”. Pretty much to talk about everything and about everything everyone has been saying. I don’t expect to have a wedding week, and I really don’t even mind having something very close to our wedding.
Somtething I didn’t think about is that the invitations were worded as “Mr and Mr’s _________ request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Cinderellasoon to _____________ son of __________” and the RSVP cards were address to MY parents. So yeah, everyone knows that my parents are doing all of this for us. LOL which I didn’t even think about really. So everyone she has told was probably like “ummm yeah, the bride’s parents sent the invites out…they are paying”
My BP has been boiling since it happened. But like I said, what makes me really made and even worse is how FI’s sister isnt happy about the answer that she has gotten which obviously was a “No” that she has since attempted to guilt Fiance. So it looks like there is a talk in her future also.
My Maid/Matron of Honor knows about this also, since I told her. She brought up a good point of “what if…?’ as in What if they bring a cake and do it aganist our wishes anyway? My response is that the photographer will have plenty of pics to take because I am pretty sure I will have to throw the cake on his sister lmao I just feel like we are living in the twilight zone at this point.
Post # 36
Unbelievable- and the worst part is you will be connected to these irrational people for life. Ugh. At least is sounds like your Fiance is supportive and doesn’t give into their demands.
Post # 37
@CinderellaSoon: I think you are in the right. Sorry, but come on! A birthday cake as well as a wedding cake? Who does that? I think yes, guests could wish a happy birthday to whomever, but to have a whole damn separate cake and all that hubbub is just ridiculous. Guests would probably think, “WTF is going on here, now we have to eat 2 slices of cake?”
It honestly sounds to me like they are jealous and bitter that you and fiance will be the center of attention and that you will be “taking” him away from his family. He isn’t going to help them financially anymore, so of course they are blaming you and taking their anger and jealousy out on you. If his parents don’t want to attend, then fine. Let them cut off their nose to spite their face. Do not negotiate with them. Do not compromise. They are being gigantic jerks, and you should call them on their bluff.
Post # 38
@CinderellaSoon: That’s a big “no”. I could see that maybe during a toast or a speech, your Fiance would stand and say something like, “And I’d just like to honor my mother, who is having her birthday in a few days. You mean so much to me, Mom, Happy Birthday!” But no extra cake, no calling it a “birthday/wedding”. That’s craziness!
By the way, at the time of my sister’s wedding, my grandparents were celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. They DID want to take advantage of the fact that all the extended family would be in town for my sister’s wedding, so they hosted a large dinner party the evening after the wedding. My sister didn’t mind at all – they weren’t trying to “steal her day” – they were just extending the party onto the next day. So, if Future Mother-In-Law wants to have a big party for herself, she can plan it and host it herself on one of the days before or after your wedding!