(Closed) Best Age For Marriage?

posted 6 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: What is the best age to get married?
    Under 20. : (2 votes)
    1 %
    20-25 : (33 votes)
    22 %
    25+ : (97 votes)
    64 %
    30 or older. : (19 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    765 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I think it’s more about maturity than age. I’ve had friends who are happily married that got married young…and others that got married before they were ready and are divorced. My sister got married at 27–and by 29 she was filing for divorce. She just wasn’t ready–and she married the wrong man. 

    I got engaged at 20–and I realized that I wasn’t ready–so I called it off. Now that I’m in my 30’s, I’m 100% sure I’m ready…and that my fiance and I really want the same things. For me, I’m very happy that I waited to find the right person, at the right time, when I was ready.

    Post # 19
    Member
    38 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’d like to add to my post too: I think that dating around is helpful to just to give you relationship experience and know more about what you want in a partner. I had several casual boyfriends and one more serious boyfriend before dating my fiance.

    But as everyone else said, the time comes for everyone at a different age depending on what you want in life.

    Post # 22
    Member
    295 posts
    Helper bee

    I agree with what other people are saying about everyone being different. I was (and still are) 23 when I said I do. I only ever dated 2 guys and out of the 2 only one lasted more then a month but at the same time you just know. We got married sooner then because he has the better health insurance then my parents and because of how often I get sick I needed to be covered. I feel that we are matured but if it wasn’t for insurance reasons I would have waited until we were between 25 and 26 to make sure we were more mature and more financially stable but it didnt work out that way. But at this moment I feel that when I look back I will still be happy about it. It also gives at least three to four years before we start to TCCing. Also like some I knew he was the right one by the end of the first month being together even though during the last 3 and 1/2 years of being together that has been small doubts but we worked the though them. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    38 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @TakeTwo:  I’ve noticed that too actually about religious couples. Many people at the university that I went to who were very religious dated for about 4 months, got engaged, and then married about 7 months later right immediately after graduation (both at age 22). They too waited until marriage to experience sex. I know one couple did not even KISS until they were engaged! But hey I guess different strokes for different fokes. 

     

     

     

    I personally do not have those same beliefs as they do but yes I would really hope hormones weren’t the only factor for the rush to get married for your cousin. I read somewhere in my research that it takes at least 3 years to REALLY get to know someone. My finace and I saw no reason for us to rush to get married right after college graduation. We wanted to work a couple years / get through part of my program and settled before tying the knot. Plus you do change and grow more a lot in early 20s. I know both of us have changed in our 4 years of being together almost (changed in good ways). Getting married can also be stressful because of the big changes so it’s nice to have only one big life event at a time! And yes you are definitely right, you do want different things out of life when you grow up. The things I want now are a little different than when I was 16. I would say I think more like a grown up now then I ever had before. I guess knowing yourself is key!

     

     

     

    Post # 24
    Member
    2123 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

    @Owl_Doctor:  I agree. Through previous relationships I learned how to avoid arguments (some things just aren’t worth bringing up), not to bring up the same complaints over and over (who wants to listen to negativity all the time?), to appreciate the other person, how to communicate needs, and that when they don’t text back doesn’t mean they don’t love me anymore (crazy 18-year old paranoid days).

    If I hadn’t had those past relationships to smooth out my crazy faults I doubt Fiance would have wanted to marry me haha!

     

    Post # 25
    Member
    2123 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

    @mintblush:  “It really wasn’t until I hit 28 that something suddenly clicked and I felt ready… it was quite weird :)”

    I had a similar experience, I think it was when I met then-SO’s family that it just clicked and I thought “I want to join this family. This is absolutely right. And I want to add a child to this family”. I cried and cried from pure happiness and was an emotional mess for days (my partner thought I’d gone mad) because I was just so overjoyed that I could see my life coming together 😀

    And this was coming from someone who didn’t ‘believe in marriage’ and didn’t want kids.

     

    I still tear up at the thought of that change, and 2 years on I’m still absolutely sure!!! :’)

     

    Post # 26
    Member
    2123 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

    @TakeTwo: 

    My cousin wants to wait until marriage for sex. I understand that her religious beliefs play a huge part in that decision. She has told me that she doesn’t want to have a long engagement so that she can finally find out what sex is like. Surprised

    I really hope that my cousin isn’t letting her hormones drag her down the aisle.”

    Oh dear. The more you explain your cousin’s story, the more I agree with you that she’s too young and immature. Sadly it isn’t your (or our place) to judge, and I hope she’s happy :/

    Post # 28
    Member
    51 posts
    Worker bee

    Your frontal lobe of your brain, which is important for executive function, isn’t fully developed until 25. I voted for 25+. I always feel like I know who I am and I am at a great place in life… until I’m looking back retrospectively from another age. I was an idiot yesterday, the month before, and an even bigger idiot the year before.

    Post # 29
    Member
    886 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    it’s the best age when you meet the right guy. you may be glad you had other relationship experiences; I’m glad I didn’t. I’m glad we’re each others’ first and only, wouldn’t trade that away. in fact I wish we met younger, so I could know him even longer. ;P

    we met first year of college and through meeting me and experiencing a deep relationship, he changed into a mature and responsible man. I shaped him into the adult he is now, and he did me the same favor. perhaps if I hadn’t met him, perhaps if I’d met some random jerks in that young age, I would be glad to have staved off marriage until my later years, until I finally did meet the right guy–but eh, I met the right guy early on and no regrets, together 7 years and still as happy as ever.

    besides, marriage doesn’t mean babies. just a matter of planning. I got married to him because I love him, not so I can become a housewife. my life experience does not stop with a husband, he only encourages me to pursue my dreams and I’m a better person for it.

    Post # 30
    Member
    413 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @patchy:  I got married to him because I love him, not so I can become a housewife. my life experience does not stop with a husband, he only encourages me to pursue my dreams and I’m a better person for it.

    +1


    I’m young and getting married in 11 days, but I’m not doing it so that I can become a housewife and have children. It’s not all about that for me. My soon-to-be husband encourages me to pursue my dreams, and I’d rather do it with him by my side than not. I’m still working and going to college and planning to go for a masters degree in social work, and getting married won’t stop me. Everyone is different when it comes to when they’re ready to get married. There shouldn’t be a “right” age, IMO. If you’re personally ready, go for it. Others may have their opinions, and you will hear about them, wanted or not. Just do what’s right for you.

    Post # 31
    Member
    6292 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @TakeTwo:  I voted 25+ as I think that generally, that’s an OK age. But different people are different; I know people who have been with their partners since they were 16, they left school at 16 and have been working since, they own a home together and pay bills, etc, and I would say they are ready in their early 20s. Then you might get someone who’s in her 30s, her biological clock is ticking, and so she rushes into marriage without thinking it through. It’s just so individual.

    I’ll be nearly 28 when we get married, and honestly, that feels young to me. I never thought I’d get married before 30; it’s just how things worked out.

    The topic ‘Best Age For Marriage?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors