- 11 years ago
The second thing I learned revolves around the word “offend”. Offend is one of these words like “upset” that can mean either angered or hurt.
If I know I hurt someone, I am 10 times more likely to try to correct the situation.
Sometimes however when the person uses “offend” based on their approach I interpret it to mean “angered”. If this happens, I am unlikely to be very sympathetic. I might wonder:
1. How does someone get so angry or worked up over a simple statement or comment…even if it is miscommunication.
2. I might think the person has built up issues or that he/she is easily bothered.
3. I might get annoyed that the person is so upset with me over something simple.
I have noticed that some other posters respond well to that “Oh sorry…I didn’t mean to offend.”
As a guy, some of us are not likely to all of a sudden start apologizing to someone for being mad at us for what we might consider an overreaction (because we are not realizing there is some “hurt” in there).
Even in real life, you might get your apology but inside things really didn’t work out for you because the guy is thinking “Are you kidding me?” He might just be apologizing as the quickest way to get out of drama…but really he thinks you are crazy…lol
He also might then get mad that you are mad (choosing to ruin a good tone and start with him)…again not realizing “hurt” is there.
So it is a cool thing to learn…if it is “hurt” and not just “angered” to “offended” it is an entirely different response with some guys (like me…and maybe some of your guys…lol)
Just one guy’s opinion.