Post # 1
Member
1254 posts
Bumble bee
With less than a week to go we had 3 guests drop out yesterday. One couple because they have been unable to find a baby sitter (somewhat understandable but then I wouldn’t have RSVPed yes in the first place until I had that sorted out) and then the kicker was a guy last night who has a lawn balls final he doesn’t want to miss. 6 days out when everything is paid for, table plans done, place cards done etc. FI was fuming and feels pretty disrespected that lawn balls trumped our wedding but I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d rather not have someone there who thinks that anyway. 2 people from work and their partners are at least excited to come and take their places now.
Post # 2
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee
I’d say not being able to find a babysitter is more than “somewhat understandable”…babysitters bail allll the time and it isn’t easy to just find another one, you don’t exactly pick them up off the street lol.
I’d feel like an ass ditching my lawnball team in the finals too! I’m sure it sounds goofy to you but I guess this is just a reminder that the end of the day, your wedding is never going to be as important to other people as it is to you.
I am a planner but I still don’t like committing to things months or even weeks away as I have no idea what is going to come up in the meantime. I’m not a big wedding person though so I’m sure lots of people will be with you on this one. It’s great that you got people to fill in though, I guess.
If you get a “I have to go feed my cat” though, totally send that person the bill.
Post # 3
Member
5268 posts
Bee Keeper
Lollybags: What are lawn balls? I know it can’t be what I’m picturing……..
Post # 4
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee
Bridey77: lol! oops, I think both OP and I mean lawn bowling?! I know I did, and that’s what I thought she was talking about.
Post # 5
Member
1254 posts
Bumble bee
turnanewleaf: I am talking about this specific case – they never had any one lined up when they RSVPd it turns out, no one has pulled out.
I guess I am just of the school where you honour the commitment you made originally made unless something like illness etc comes up. People know that weddings get pre-paid and minimum counts provided several weeks out and to not even get an apology that they are choosing bowls over a wedding at the last minute I think is pretty poor form. Most people I’ve told at work and my family are appalled.
Bridey77: It’s a bit like petanque, bocce etc. It’s quite popular, particularly amongst older people, socially or competitively here.
Post # 6
Member
1254 posts
Bumble bee
turnanewleaf: Yes sorry, I meant Lawn Bowls 🙂
Post # 7
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
Lollybags: that would piss me off! Lawn balls… The nerve!
best one for us so far is FIs own grandmother. She’d rather go to her great granddaughters high school graduation than to her grandsons wedding. Only thing keeping us from not screaming about it is that her great granddaughter will never do anything better than high school, and she’s lucky to have gotten that far
Post # 8
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
No lame excuses…yet.
We did have an oddly high number of people who “didn’t get the invitation in the mail.” That’s interesting, as we’ve received zero “Returns to Sender,” and we even got one of their RSVP cards. The mail carrier must have just known and filled it out/sent it to us for you 😉
Post # 9
Member
13 posts
Newbee
I haven’t had any guest back out yet (since our invites haven’t gone out yet) BUT I had a bridesmaid back out on me. The sad part is its my future step daughter. She claims that she never knew we wanted her to be in the wedding just that we wanted her to come to the wedding. She is 14 and when I asked her to be a bridesmaid she asked me about being a flower girl or doing both. But somehow several months later the day AFTER I bought the dress she decides she doesn’t want to be in it because she is too shy and is afraid she will mess up.
Post # 10
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
jeh_butterfly: As the sister of someone with social anxiety, at times very severe, there may be more to your future step daughter’s fear of “messing up” and being too shy. My sibling has come a long way but bridesmaid is something she’d NEVER have done at 14, even if it sounded like a good idea.
Anyway, OP at least it’s only 3 and they actually warned you (so you could invite others). I’ve heard horror stories of people just being no shows for no reason.
Post # 11
Member
998 posts
Busy bee
We had several people just not show up to the wedding with no heads up given beforehand. They never said anything to me about it afterwards either, so I still don’t know why they never showed. It doesn’t really bother me tho bc they were the ones that missed out on a fun party!
Post # 12
Member
1592 posts
Bumble bee
Umm we had a few cancel but they were legit. One cousin was originally on the list without a guest, but FI’s aunt told us, via FB before invites went out, to consider him and his gf in (he was out of town so her message was fine). So we invited two and they RSVP’d two, but then they told us like a week prior she was a no b/c she was in school (umm didn’t they know that?). We didn’t have to give numbers yet so it was fine. We had one couple cancel early enough for financial reasons and one cancel early for medical reasons.
The weirdest one was a girl my brother is seeing. I only met her once for a short time actually. He and I had been texting a bit about what she would do on the day of, since he’d be there early for pictures. I laid out a few suggestions, including hanging out while he stood in photos.
And in the end he text’d me that morning that she wasn’t coming! So she’s the only one I paid for that didnt’ show. And of course he’s one of the few people we didn’t get a gift from. (I’m not surprised nor do I actually care about the gift part). To this day he refuses to tell me the reason because he said it’s ridiculously stupid.
Post # 13
Member
1592 posts
Bumble bee
Oh, and I will say that my mom is terrible with showing up for parties, including weddings. So I knew to expect a few no shows. My mom usually comes up with a medical thing but I think she has bad anxiety.
Post # 14
Member
1118 posts
Bumble bee
Lollybags: “I have to pick up my kids from camp at the same time as your wedding.” Emailed to us less than 12 hours before the ceremony! I sure hope she knew when she supposed to pick up her kids earlier than that!
Post # 15
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
Lollybags: I hate this stuff, cause you just never know what’s legitimate or not….something that may sound totally dumb to you, may really be problematic for someone else. I say this, because just last night I had to miss a wedding I RSVP’d to as I had a fever of 102. I felt absolutely terrible not going, mind you my husband went so we didn’t completely blow it off, but he told me all night long he felt like an ass telling people I was sick when they asked where I was. I’m sure it sounded lame, and hopefully the bride and groom understood, but I really was horribly ill! My fever finally broke this morning, and I feel a million times better but now I’m avoiding going out to dinner tonight in fear that someone from the wedding will see me and think I was full of crap! I guess my point is you just never know. I had two people not show up to our wedding, and one of them to this day hasn’t spoken to me or offered an explanation.
Member
