- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
I get an email from one of my oldest and dearest friends a few days ago, B, saying she cannot come to our wedding (in two weeks). She listed off an array of issues (financial, etc.) as to why she and her husband cannot attend. At the same time, she is also throwing a rather expensive bachelorette and bridal shower for another friend of hers from her last job. Not that it’s any of my business but I inquired why not split the cost of her friends’ bridal festivities more equitably amongst the MOH/BMs, I thought it seemed like a reasonable question. My fiance and I are staying at the venue the weekend of our wedding so to save B and her husband some money, we also inquired whether they would just like to crash at our apartment, bring their dogs, raid our fridge, etc. so they wouldn’t have to worry about anything else but gas money for the weekend, which is about a 6 hr drive from where they live.
She replies that “if its really important to me, she can see if she can make it work but she would never sacrifice what her friend had always dreamed of for her bridal festivities as she has been a diligent, attentive and loving friend for five years”. It’s not tough to read between the lines and take that to mean for the least 15 years I’ve apparently been a crappy friend and in the hierarchy of things, I guess I’m not as high on her’s as she was on mine.
Not that it should matter, (let’s get real, it kind of does) but I travelled half way around the world for 36 hours for her wedding and half way across the country (right after a home robbery unfortunately enough) for her bachelorette party. While it was a push, I was happy to do it and would do it over in a heartbeat. While I dont think the world should stop turning because of our wedding, I also don’t feel like it’s absurd to hope for her to drive 6 hours and stay at our apartment for the weekend to attend ours. However, I feel like the last thing someone should have to do try and convince a friend to attend their own wedding. Long story short, she isn’t coming.
I feel hurt, unappreciated and cast aside more than I ever have. I’ve never been one to write off friendships during bumpy patches but I fear that this should be a cue to let the relationship go.
Any thoughts or two cents on the matter would be most appreciated.