Post # 1
I got married a year ago. One of my best friends of 15 years (a bridesmaid) got back from 6 months of traveling overseas a few days before the wedding so she had a lot going on in the days leading up to it. She didn’t bring a gift or even a card. Am I horrible because this still bothers me?
FWIW, I was not an expensive bride – no bachelorette party, no shower, and I paid for bridesmaids’ dresses.
Post # 3
Was it Sept 15? That’s not a year ago and it could still be coming. By traditional standards you have a year to send a gift. But either way id just let it go. Gifts aren’t required. Customary, yes but required no. It’s not worth hurting your friendship with an awkward, entitled confrontation.
Post # 4
MrsBuesleBee: no, the date is wrong so I can stay anonymous. It’s been a full year.
Post # 5
cbj9: well regardless, id let it go. You can’t go around asking “where’s my present??!” because again you arent owed one. Maybe she thought her service as a Bridesmaid or Best Man was your present. Id give her the benefit of the doubt for the sake of your friendship and let it go. You may feel she was rude, but I assure you it’s much ruder to shake down or shame non-gifting guests.
Post # 6
Yeah I’d definitely let it go.
Post # 7
Let it go. It is gracous to give a present and card but no one is forced to. Is your friendship worth more than a present and card? Wasn’t her presence enough?
Post # 8
A – you shouldnt expect gifts from people, and not everyone does give gifts and B – if she was in your wedding I am sure she figured her time and standing up on your wedding day with you was worth more to you than a gift .. which is acceptable.. wasn’t her presense at your wedding good enough for you?
Post # 9
cbj9: I didn’t get a card or gift from any of my bridal party. In fact I’m pretty sure my bridesman jacked my lipstick.
I really liked that color too.
Post # 10
cbj9: I’d let it go – she had been traveling for 6 months, money may have been tight for her or it may have just slipped her mind with everything she had going on. Even if you don’t think money was tight – there’s no way for you to know her personal finances. What’s to be gained from dwelling on it? Unless you are going to take action (say something about it or end the friendship – neither of which are appropriate in my opinion) then all it’s doing is causing you negativity that you don’t need in your life.
Post # 11
What are you gaining by dwelling on this a year later? Get over it.
Post # 12
I would let it go. She’s been your friend for 15 years. This is not something to ruin a friendship over.
Post # 13
Being in your bridal party is your gift.
Post # 14
I understand where you are coming from. A couple of my bridesmaids didn’t give us a wedding gift or card either But I’m not upset. I thought it was a little strange because I gave both of them gifts when I was in their weddings. I paid for half of their dresses, hair and makeup (that weren’t required). Don’t think I was at all a bridezilla. I thought they would at least give me a card or small gift, but whatever. They were great bridesmaids and I won’t ever mention it.
One of my good friends, who was not a bridesmaid, also didn’t give us a card or gift. This was especially strange because she isn’t the type to do that and can definitely afford a gift. I spent over $800 on her bachelorette weekend and sent a gift although I couldn’t attend her wedding. Several months after my wedding, she asked for my address and apologized for not giving us a gift because she had been really busy, then never event sent a card. I’m not upset but I would feel really rude if I had done that.
I understand this bugs you, but my advice is to let it go. It’s most important that she was there for the wedding 🙂
Post # 15
I would never say anything to her about it. No way. It’s just something I think about from time to time, but would never mention to anyone.