(Closed) best friend disappointed she isn't in wedding

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

On David Tuttera they have a Lady in Waiting! She could do that. That way she still gets to be with you all day and help out. Plus if she doesnt show up its not the end of the world because you could do most of the stuff yourself.

Post # 4
5963 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Maybe you can invite her on some of your shopping trips and things like that, she can be included, but if she doesn’t make it you won’t be stuck….if she insists on being part of the wedding I guessa reading is always an option, or you can explain that you appreciate her offer to help bit there’s just not too much to do.

Post # 5
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

There’s a lot of things going on in this post for me.

The first thing is, I applaud your decision to ease stress for yourself and just have your sisters as your bridal party. I have a sister who is my best friend and I wholeheartedly understand.

The second thing is, I think it’s wonderful that you have such a supportive best friend that so actively wants to be a part of your wedding. Perhaps you didn’t like the way she communicated her desire to be involved, but personally, I don’t really see much of a problem with it. You can definitely assign her tasks that will become important – even behind the scenes – and she’ll have a role. It’s possible she used those words, and didn’t say “how can I make this day special,” because you guys are so close and so she felt that she could just say things more bluntly. Sometimes with familiarity comes less “social graces” and being “politically correct,” so to speak. 

And for the last part about her not being dependable, that is often found in helpmates of the bride and I would say you either ask her to do something with someone else or you choose carefully what it is she does, and the timing of said thing. If you needed help putting stuff together, you could even ask her to assist you, so you know it’s getting done and she’s helping.

Post # 6
2 posts

one of my closest friends had her sister in law stand in for her Maid/Matron of Honor.  

I don’t care what role i had in her wedding.  As long as she was happy, so was i.

This may not be about the wedding per se.  She may just be hurt.  Maybe she doesnt’ need a big place in the wedding.  Maybe she needs to hear that she means a lot to you and the role of Maid/Matron of Honor isn’t necessarily a reflection of how you feel about her.  Have you expressed that to her?  

Post # 7
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If you decide to include her, maybe she could perform a reading during the ceremony?

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