(Closed) Best friend drama!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2755 posts
Sugar bee

I can definitely understand your friends and fiancé being cautious about this girl. What happened was far more than just a falling out – she ditched you with unpaid bills, which could have wrecked your credit and put a huge damper on your quality of life. That’s HUGE. I don’t know if I could have forgiven a person for doing that to me, history between us or not. If you feel that you can, then that’s great and I think you should continue trying to rebuild the relationship so long as it’s not going to cause more damage to you down the road.

At this point, I think it might be best to leave your bridal party as it is. If you want to include her, why not ask her to do a reading or give her another task that will make her feel like part of the day? As it is, your decision stands and if you REALLY want her there, then you should do it. Just be prepared to think about how you’d feel if she walked out on the wedding a few weeks before… I don’t know if I could fully trust her.

Post # 4
3942 posts
Honey bee

@zomba:  It’s a tough decision to make. However, I wouldn’t let your MOH’s feelings have any impact on your decision, it’s your wedding day and your (and your fiance’s) choice.

I would wait a little while loner and see how you feel. You still  have a few moths before dresses need to be ordered, and concrete decisions regarding your party need to be made. Good luck!

Post # 5
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

Personally, I wouldn’t include her. It will be much easier to deal with if you don’t include her and regain your friendship than if you do include her and don’t regain your friendship. I think not including her is the lesser of 2 potiential evils. I think what would upset me the most about the whole thing is that my best friend of a million years left me basically alone with a mountain of bills. that shows the amount of respect that she had for me. 

Post # 6
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I was instant best friends with my first year University roommate. My now Fiance actually lived on the same floor as us. For those 4 years of school we had tons of fun and did everything together. She helped him pick out my ring, was in on my proposal (2.5 years ago). We didn’t choose who was standing then because we were still in Uni and knew it would be a longer engagement. After 4 years she moved back to her small town and continued working where she worked during her highschool years. After moving back we each visited a few times and talked every now and then but she NEVER asked anything about wedding. As time passed we were talking less and less. Last march we finally set our date and booked then venue and obviously needed to choose our wedding party. I was sooooo torn on if I wanted her or not – I knew she assumed she was MoH but wondered if she was still expecting that since we had grew apart. Being super brave (and before telling my girls) I called to let her know that I was having these other girls stand in my wedding. She bawled!!! And I felt so bad. I explained that I hoped this would bring us closer and if so I would love to have her stand. Since then our relationship hasn’t gotten any better. We randomly BBM each other but never about anything real. I am so happy I made the call and decided not to have her standing. I still love her and would do anything for her but things change… 

I know its not exactly the same as your situation but I wanted to let you know that although it was super hard to tell her I am sooooo glad i did. 

Good Luck!!!


Post # 7
193 posts
Blushing bee

@zomba:  I would probably include her. If you are already wanting to, the more you get back into the swing of your friendship the more it will bother you. And like everyone says, it is your wedding day – you dont want any regrets.

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