(Closed) Best friend has picked an almost identical dress to mine, not to mention…..

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would take it as a compliment and move on.  It looks like you had as lovely wedding, and hopefully your best friend will, too.

Post # 33
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yeah, they’re similar. But your wedding already happened and you were first, and I wouldn’t let myself get bothered by it at this point.

We went to a wedding 11 months after ours, and it was almost exactly like ours… navy pintuck satin linens, ivory chaircovers and napkins, a cake that looked just like ours, a candy buffet that looked just like ours, Bridesmaid or Best Man bouquets were the same flowers, table centerpieces were the same (half tall with orchids in water in tall cylinders, half shorter with white flowers in cube vases). It was really kind of weird.

The couple had gotten engaged RIGHT before our wedding, so I guess maybe she just got her ideas from our wedding? Anyway, it bothered me for a second, but I got over it pretty quickly. There weren’t very many of the same people at both weddings, and since mine was first, it wasn’t like there was any chance anyone would think I copied her. 

Anyway… the dresses are similar, but not at all identical. White hair flowers are SO popular, so you can’t really fault her for that one. The earrings… that’s a little weird, but you can’t help it if she has similar taste in earrings (after all, you’re best friends… you must have a lot in common). As for the rings… was that even her decision, or did her Fiance choose them?

Post # 34
2336 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sure your dresses are similar, just like two mermaid dresses will look similar…so not the same at all.  And few rings are really that unique.  I don’t see the problem. 

Post # 35
62 posts
Worker bee


Hahahaa I see some things never change eh?

There forever will always be the S*it disturbers on the Bee!

Post # 36
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I just can’t understand the mentality of someone who would notice or care about this sort of thing.  I can understand being a little bit weirded out if she had a custom replica made of the OPs custom dress but both dresses are popular styles bought off the rack!  The things that the OP used to develop her “personal style” are mass produced all over the world!  Her “personal style” is nothing of the sort!  That hairstyle/dress/overall look is plastered over every single wedding website and magazine. 

There is no nice way to point out to someone that they are acting in self centered and ridiculous manner.  It’s not all about her and it’s certainly not all about her wedding that happened over a year ago.  It’s her friend’s wedding and she happens to like the same things that thousands of other brides like.  It happens.  

Post # 37
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Old Stone House in Brookyn

It’s not like anyone is going to go to her wedding and then say “Well, now that I’ve seen a similar dress, I just don’t care about simpleandchic’s wedding anymore!”

It really won’t effect you one way or the other if she’s using your ideas, so why stress out about it?

Post # 38
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t really see the similarity between the dresses.

Plus your wedding is over, let your friend do as she pleases.

Post # 41
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

She definitely has a similar dress than you, but she has the poor man’s version.  Obviously she likes your taste in clothing, etc.  Is she as savvy and original as you are or is she a follower?  So did she purchase it already? if not, go shopping with her and help her try on other styles…but if that dress is the one that makes her cry,  she’s going to buy it and there’s not much you can do.

Post # 43
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012


@jussanuthagrl:  ” She definitely has a similar dress than you, but she has the poor man’s version.”

I don’t think it’s the poor man’s version. I think it’s a nice variation of the same trend.

OP, I think your dresses were both lovely. They each had a different vibe going on (hers more beachy, yours more ethereal). Let it pass. Take a day to be frustrated and then focus on something you like about the girl. Life is too short.

Post # 44
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

did she get the exact earrings, bracelet, and earrings as you? or similar? i see that the maggie model is also wearing a white flower in her hair.  from the pictures you posted, it looks like your friend was trying to copy the look of the maggie model – orange bouquet, white hair flower, beach setting…

i find that most wedding ideas are not original. i wanted pocketfold invites (just like a gazillion of brides) and after i had them picked, i received three wedding invites and they were all pocketfolds.  i ordered my bouquet and my girls bouquets and when i showed up to the wedding, the bride carried a red peony bouquet.  i saw her walk out of the church right before the ceremony and she wore a vera wang white dress.  i almost bought the one shoulder version (she had the one with the straps) but went with vw ethel instead.  i then go to my brother’s wedding and their first dance song was the song i already had listed on my list for my dj. i’m also serving red velvet cake (along with three other flavors) but i couldn’t help not duplicating a flavor since they served seven different flavors of cake.  who serves seven different flavors?  and we’re also serving filet.  now i want a videographer because i saw their wedding video.

no matter how original i wanted to be, i had to admit that i was probably reading the same wedding magazines and wedding discussion boards as most other brides.  i admit that i blatantly copy many ideas i find.  i forwarded a picture of a beautiful cake to my baker and asked her to recreate it as identical as possible but with some color changes.  i’m wearing shoes that sell out almost everytime they get re-released. 

don’t let it bother you so much.  she’s your fiend.  you spent much more on a dress than she did and your overall look is very different than hers.

Post # 45
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Yikes.  This thread is cut throat.  My best friend got engaged first, and married first- when we went to pick out her wedding dress, she bought my favorite one (by one of my now favorite designers, who she didn’t know, though we were attending the trunk show)  Now that I am getting married, I know like you, she would be pissed beyond words if I got anything by that designer….  Regardless, our styles are similar and my dress will be a similar silhouette (not poofy, not mermaid) and fabric (lace, no bling, no sparkles) and I’m afraid she’s still going to get mad secretly at that but that’s always been what I wanted and I’m not going to change it because she got married first….   So, assuming you and your best friend probably shop together at the same stores and like a lot of the same stuff just like my best friend and I, it doesn’t seem like a devious, crazy person idea for her to choose a very simliar gown (though to me I really think beyond it being white and having one strap they aren’t as simliar as you are making them out to be)

Earrings, weird, but again, simliar taste.  Ring- shouldn’t have that been her fiance picking that out?  If so, I would want whatever matching wedding band came with it as well.  

I hope you can get over it and be friends, because I am going to need my friend to as well when she sees I’m getting a lace, ivory, not poofy dress.

Post # 46
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You should remove your friend’s picture. If I found out my “best friend” was bashing me on a forum and then posted a picture of me on the Internet, especially one including my face, I would be livid and hurt. That’s really inappropriate, and you should respect her privacy, even if you’re mad at her. 

Images from WeddingBee show up on Google. She’s supposed to be your best friend. How would she feel if she came across her picture attached to this thread? It’s just a wedding dress. It’s not worth the potential hurt feelings and invasion of privacy.

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