- 8 years ago
Without getting into all the small details, basically my best friend and one of my bridesmaids, has been in an abusive relationship off and on for the past 15 years.
In the past I’ve tried everything, being there for her, staying on the phone as she cries all hours of the night, calling the police, calling her relatives to check on her when something goes wrong(she is 2 hrs away from me….they also know what is going on).
He has tried to kill her twice, once in front of their child. The last time was 2 yrs ago. He was since jailed(on a 2nd DWI offense) but somehow keeps getting out without any real recourse. Last year, she was doing well(he was in jail) but when he got out, her calls to me slowly but surely decreased. Conversations have been few and far between. There was a small stretched where we talked often a few months ago-around the time I got engaged, but since then, we haven’t really talked.
My bday was last month and she was supposed to come into town, but cancelled an hour before our plans via text saying she couldn’t make it cause of car troubles. A few days later, I got 2 phone calls from mutual friends saying that she had been updating her facebook with pictures of the 2 of them together kissing and such. I was of course blocked from them, as well as my fiance and a few other mutual friends who know their tumultous story.
I feel hurt, and angry. I miss my best friend! At the same time, I am soo tired of this. 15 years of worrying about her. I really don’t know what to do. Clearly she is not going to get out of this relationship.
My wedding is in 6 months and she is one of my bridesmaids. Part of me just wants to call her and tell her it’s best she not be in it, but the other part of me just doesn’t want to say anything at all to her. She can make the first move. I feel like I”m being punished because I don’t agree or like that she is in a relationship with him. She knows that I don’t like him, and with good reason. So, I guess she just doesn’t want to tell me that they are back together and is just avoiding me all together.
Looking back on our relationship, I feel like I excused a lot of things cause I love her soo much. But now, being apart from her- perhaps the past isn’t as rosy as I remember.
I’m tired, so very tired of this. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Has anyone else been through something like this?