(Closed) Best friend issues … (long)

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

C is being incredibly ridiculous. How dare you have other friends? Dramaaaaa.

Post # 4
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I would end the friendship now.  Honestly, C isn’t your friend anymore.  Just stop calling her or trying to get her to hang out.  Focus on your friends who are actually trying to make you happy and not be a drag on you emotionally.

Post # 5
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Alexxx_Piph:  I agree with PP, C is being really really selfish and you deserve better than that from a friend. Its not like you stopped trying to hang out with her or DIDNT ask her to be in the wedding. She is being completely unreasonable. Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

C needs to seriously grow up, its like shes holding you to ransom, weddings are stressful enough without your meant to be ‘best friend’ putting unecessary pressures on you. Its like shes making you choose.

Post # 7
Member
3779 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It’s no one else’s place to say who you can and can’t be friends with or have in your bridal party. C is being a drama queen.

Post # 9
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@vorpalette:  +1. C is being incredibly ridiculous, she makes no effort for your friendship over the last couple of years and gets upset because you had the nerve to make new friends? Seriously? Is she twelve?

C doesn’t sound to me like someone I’d really care to have around for the long haul, she is never able to hang out with you, despite you extending an invitation multiple times, some of her declines are strictly because she doesn’t want to interact with other adults. I couldn’t be friends with someone who didn’t at least put an effort into hanging out with me, and if the need arose, getting to know other people that I am close to.

IMO, it’s time to kiss this friendship goodbye.

Post # 10
Member
7229 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Alexxx_Piph:  Well… you’re not engaged yet, so don’t worry about her declining yet. 
That said- I had a friend who was like this. I think it’s common for women to get jealous of their BFF’s other close girlfriends and then blame “changes” on that girl. Hell, we say “your man changed you” all the time too! She’s just feeling needy because you made other friends and she doesn’t feel able to. If you want to save the friendship, have a frank, calm conversation with her. Just say that you feel distant because you haven’t been able to see a lot of each other and maybe you could get together- just the two of you- more often. Leave A out of it. She isn’t really the problem. 

Post # 11
Member
1685 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

No one says you get 1 friend or even 1 best friend.  I’d just continue on like I had no clue C doesn’t like A.  If C wants to miss out on being a part of your day for something so petty, let her. 

Post # 12
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

So she made no effort to stay close friends with you, and got mad when you made a new close friend? If she declines, so be it, I wouldn’t lose sleep over someone so unsupportive. I can understand being a little jealous of the new bff, but for her to actually say anything to you about it – let alone the whole “I won’t be a Bridesmaid or Best Man if she is” thing, is really childish. People grow up, move on, change, if she can’t accept your life as it is now, then it’s time to put some distance between you.

Post # 13
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

You have clearly tried to keep her around, keep her in your life,and yet she constantly declines.  People make new friends, sometimes those new friends end up being the sister you never had, or closer than old friends.  A seems to be there for you daily, while C seems to pick and choose when she is ‘comfortable’ hanging out. 

This isn’t a case of you meeting A and shutting out C, this is C shutting herself out. You shouldn’t have to put this much effort into a friendship.  If she’s not willing to be there for you because she’s jealous, she’s not worth it.  Does she expect that she can never come to gatherings, and yet be your only friend?  This is ridiculous.

If when you do get engaged, she is still acting like a child, let her, and let her go.  There is no reasonfor you to feel like shit because you’ve made new friends, when clearly you’re trying to stay friends with her and she’s the reason you never hang out. She is acting like a baby,and for no fault of your own.

Post # 15
Member
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Alexxx_Piph:  i think the ball is in C’s court to make the effort to initiate seeing you or coming to things or making more of an effort. She is clearly jealous of your friendship with A and she is threatened by A. I think you have done all the trying. If she values your friendship its time for her to step up and show that she values it. It’s all 1 way by the sounds of things but yet she expects you not to become close friends with anyone else.. thats unreasonable.. I think you should back off the trying to maintian contact and inviting her to do things..leave her in the lurch a bit and make her come to you.. play hard to get and if you’re worth it to her she will make the effort otherwise shes not a  very good friend

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