(Closed) Best friend made me feel terrible

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

She is probably just jealous. I wouldn’t worry too much about what she said. You should be so excited!!! Heck, I’m excited for you!! A mountain house sounds so lovely.

Post # 4
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I think she’s just trying to look out for you if you’re not yet engaged. I’m sure she didn’t mean to hurt your feelings though. I would tell her that it was upsetting so she has a chance to apologize and you can talk it out. 

Post # 5
Member
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@leogal:  If you have already bought the house together I don’t know how on earth she can say that moving in 5 months early is somehow “too fast” or what-not. 

Don’t let her rain on your parade. It sounds like she’s a bit jealous.

Yay house! 

Post # 6
Member
24 posts
Newbee

Aww, I’m so sorry she wasn’t excited for you! It could be jealousy, as some other posters have pointed out, but could it perhaps be that she is just overly protective of you? I know I sometimes worry about my friends more than I should. It sounds like a possibility is that she is just trying to look out for you and make sure you aren’t feeling rushed to do something before you are ready; maybe she was under the impression that you wanted that extra time to be extra sure about this move. Still, sounds like she wasn’t very tactful about it, even if this was the case. Hopefully she’ll be more enthusiastic once she feels like you are 100% confident in this decision. Then again, some people are just clueless. My SO and I bought a house together, and everyone acted like it was no biggie, like it was the same level as if I were just leaving a toothbrush at his place. I had one family member get really excited for me and acknowledge what a big step in the relationship it was, and what a great personal achievement it felt like. Everyone else kind of gave me sideways glances, like they didn’t understand why this was comment-worthy. It could be that she just doesn’t really *get* how big a deal this is for you. I think if she keeps acting underwhelmed, you should tell her that you’re disappointed she isn’t more excited for you! 

Post # 7
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

LaughingWell, we’re all happy for you, here!! A new house, specially a mountaion house is really, really exciting!!

Post # 8
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

whatev’s trev’s – this is well exciting!

congratulations on moving in together. that house sounds LOVELY.

(i’m one of these people who would put here home before ANYTHING so i’m with you!)

Post # 9
Member
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I have a friend who would say exactly the same thing and frankly, she has! “I thought you wanted to be single…” as though getting into a relationship with my now Fiance was about timing! Life comes at ya fast, sister!

Don’t worry about it. She’s clearly bringing up something you’re feeling insecure about so if you ARE worrying about it a bit, just take some time to look into that feeling. Otherwise, it’s something she should have voiced at a different time, like when you first told her about the house and not when its ready to be lived in! The feedback at this point just isn’t helpful and you should feel free to tell her that.

Post # 10
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I have a feeling the green-eyed monster came to visit. Your friend is clearly jealous. Be happy! I moved in with my Darling Husband (unofficially) after 6 months and officially after 8. Sometimes you just know 🙂

Post # 11
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  I’m thinking that she is maybe concerned for you. How did she react when you told her the news that you two were getting a house together? Also, are you guys renting it or buying it together? Without knowing the answers to those two questions, I’m thinking your friend might be concerned for you. After getting out of a 5 year relationship, and then moving in with someone after a year could be a little concerning, especially if you guys are buying the house together.

  However, with my relationship with my Darling Husband and I, things moved very slowly, so anything is going to seem fast to me :-). She also could be a little jealous. Is she in a relationship right now? Are things going okay? Maybe she could be a little sensitive to the fact that things are going so well for you. One of my good friends texted me last night, and when I responded, I let her know that Darling Husband got a job in his field. I was apprehensive to tell her, because I know her Darling Husband has been looking for a job in his totally different line of work for awhile now. I didn’t hear back from her, which did kind of hurt.

  In either scenario, I would still celebrate the good things happening with you and Mr. Right, and in a few days, meet up with your friend and gently bring up the topic. I hope all goes well!

Post # 12
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t think she’s jealous; I think she wants to be sure you know what you’re getting into, which I would expect a friend to do.

Post # 13
Member
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

@leogal:  First, congratulations on your house! It sounds amazing. I think your friend is only trying to look out for you, and make sure you know what you’re in for. 

Post # 14
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well if she can’t be happy for you, ignore her comments. It sounds as if everyone else is very supportive & happy for you both! Maybe she isn’t jealous but is concerned for you in her own way, but doesn’t know how to say her thoughts?

Post # 15
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Nevermind, I thought you were purchasing a home with this man. If this was the case I would say she is just being cautious for you.

Post # 16
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@fishbone:  THIS. She is NOT jealous. That’s a dumb conclusion to jump to, Ugh! She probably is concerned because she sees you’ve moved on quickly and she wants to make sure you’ve thought it through. If she’s your best friend, she probably feels comfortable saying things like that to you, that all those other people who’ve been supportive may not feel comfortable saying.

I’m not implying you’re moving to fast…I’m just saying, it’s a really good friend’s JOB to be concerned about stuff like that. 🙂

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