Post # 1
My very best friend in the world passed away a few years ago. When we would talk about weddings we always said we’d be each other’s Maid of Honor. It will have been about seven years since her passing on our wedding day (hard to believe how quickly time passes!) and I really want to do something to honor her.
A dear friend will be my Matron of Honor and I have six other bridesmaids in the wedding party. I was tossing around the idea of putting an empty chair with a bouquet on it in the bridal party lineup at the altar, but I’m very sensitive to the fine line you walk when trying to honor a lost loved one and turning a wedding into a memorial service. Not to mention it might look weird from an asthetic point of view and people may not understand what it means unless we put something in the program.
Another factor in all of this is that my dad passed away six months before my best friend did, and I intend to honor him as well. I was thinking of having his favorite beer Yeungling at the bar and having a framed picture of him saying something like “Have a Yeungling in honor of Steve!” which I think is fun and keeps with the spirit of the wedding.
I’d love to hear ideas on honoring my best friend without turing the whole day into a memorial service. Thank you in advance!
Post # 2
How about carrying a picture of her in your bouquet? That way she’s standing with you!
Post # 3
My best friend died when we were children. It was something personal for me to honor her on the day of, but I didn’t incorporate it into our wedding. It wasn’t appropriate for that and far too personal for me. I had the florist make a duplicate of my bouquet and I brought it to her grave. I sat and talked to her for a long while, told her things I wanted to tell her. My Maid/Matron of Honor came with me, and it was a very beautiful, personal, touching moment. At least for me, it would’ve been ruined if I brought it into the whole day. Your Maid/Matron of Honor is personal, someone deeply tied to your heart and soul. Do something private the day of if you can manage it.
Post # 4
I’m so sorry that this happened. When i was 18, a very close friend very suddenly passed, from a heart attack. He was 19, and like a brother. It was very difficult.
My dad passed when i was 5. I miss him terribly, and knew that i needed to honor him. so, i had a photo charm on my bouquet with my dad’s photo in It. That way, he still walked with me down the aisle.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2016 - Boettcher Mansion
I was going to suggest something similar to what Hyperventilate said, maybe have them make her a bridesmaid’s bouquet and then stop by her grave before your wedding to drop it off? I am planning on taking my bridal bouquet to my dad’s grave the morning after and leaving it there to honor him. I’m also wearing a bracelet with his fingerprint engraved on it, and I’m hoping to have a chair in the front row where I can drape one of his suit jackets with a boutonniere pinned to it.
You can also have a picture frame with a picture of them in it, and maybe a poem or a quotation. There’s so many options, and they can be as public or as private as you want. It’s such a personal decision, so only you know what will feel right! Just remember, they will be with you on your wedding day in whatever way is possible. 🙂
Post # 6
I had a table at my reception with a sign that said “we know you’d still be here today if heaven werent so far away” and we framed pictures of grandparents, aunts and uncles that passed away. You could always frame a picture of her and place it somewhere.
not a dinner table, a table in one of the rooms of the ‘venue
Post # 7
Both my SO and I lost our best friends, mine to a car accident and his while they were deployed in Afghanistan together. It has been a few years but we still feel a very close connection to them, and would have wanted them heavily involved. We both still have good friends we want to be our best man and maid of honor. What we plan to do to honor our best friends will be to reserve a seat in the front row of our ceremony.
Also I have a small locket photo of my best friend that was gifted to me at her funeral that I plan to have on my bouquet so she can still be up there with me, along with a few more meanigful photos like my parents wedding portrait.
Post # 8
i honored my father by attached a picture charm of my dad on my bouquet, i also mentioned him and DHs grandmother in the wedding program, and at the reception I played a montage of pics of my dad, mom and me. Everyone loved it.
Post # 9
I just wanted to say that I love
the idea of how you are going to honor your dad. I think that’s fun and beautiful and touching.
Post # 10
We had a picture table with photos of my husband’s father, his grandparents and my aunt and cousin. We didn’t overload it or add any signage, but since we had such a small wedding most everyone knew what it was. My husband’s father’s favorite flowers were gardenias, so we had some of those placed on the table too.
Post # 11
I’m so sorry for your loss. She can still be listed as your Maid/Matron of Honor in absentia.
Post # 12
Thank you all so much for your replies! I was tearing up thinking about the beautiful way you have honored your lost loved ones. I love the ideas of a charm and/or an empty chair collectively representing everyone who can’t be there. It feels comforting to know that I’m not the only one going through this and I am sorry for all of your losses as well.
Post # 13
I love this idea, thank you! I will definitely be doing this in the program 🙂
Post # 14
Wow – I could have written this post. I, too, lost my best friend and a parent (my mom). I also didn’t want my wedding to become a memorial for them so I did a couple things. I put something in our ceremony program honoring those we had lost (had our grandparents, a nephew, etc.’s names). I also had two charms made with a picture of my mom and a picture of my best friend and I attached those to my bouquet.
Post # 15
I love the idea of an empty chair…. Just not with the bridal party. We are having an empty chair in the front row for my grandparents who passed away several years ago. I also like catlover29:
‘s idea. We are also doing a pic bio for each person in the bridal party so everyone knows a little more about them. This would be another way to show how much she meant to you.