Post # 1
I am turning to you gals, ’cause I know you’ll understand me.
Me best friend in the whole wide world is pregnant. While I am of course thrilled for her and her husband, I also feel terribly sad sometimes when I’m around her. I try my best not to let my own frustrations and jealousy affect our relationship, but it is SO hard.
Today she wrote me a text after their first scan: “The baby waved at us!”. It just felt like a kick in the stomach for me. Ouch.
While we are only on TTC cycle 7 – and I know that many bees have been trying so much longer than that! – my hubby got his “schtuff” tested last month. While the test wasn’t conclusive (he had had a fever one month before), the doctors said it looked “quite bad”.
I guess I’m just really down about TTC today.
End pity party.
Post # 3
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I have had baby on the brain for the past few months, and right now is just not a good time to start trying…makes me sad, and its very frustrating.
Sending you good vibes, but you’re allowed to throw pity parties now and then!
Post # 4
@Danish_Student: Totally understandable. It’s hard to feel joy for a friend when it’s such a sore subject for you.
Post # 5
aw. I’m so sorry you are feeling down. Does your friend know you have been TTC? I think you should first be completely, crazy, ecstatic for her then maybe in a couple weeks when the newness of it all has died down talk to her separately about how down you are that you are not expecting yet. But in no way tie in to the fact that her being pregnant makes you sad.
I think it’s completely normal to feel a little down when you find out others are pregnant during TTC. We have ALL been there. But I think the important part is to give yourself the pity party then leave it and be HAPPY for your best friend in the whole wide world! This is a special time for her and you should be there for her. If the roles were reversed would you not want her to be happy for you as well?
But anyway, hugs, month 7 was definitely THE hardest for us as well. My period was late for the first time ever and we were both convinced the first POAS would result in a BFP.
Post # 6
@luli29: and @KatyElle: Thanks for understanding 🙂
@regberadaisy: I think right now the problem is that she is really not in a very receptive mood. My best friend and her husband (who is, btw, my husband’s best friend) are the only ones who know we are TTC. I am doing my best to be there for her – cooking food that relieves her morning sickness, asking about how she is, running errands for her – but it is a bit bittersweet, because not only is she pregnant (and I am obviously not), but she is doees not really have the energy to be here for me right now. While I understand that the pregnancy is taking a lot of her energy, and she if of course super hyped to be expecting, I still miss talking about BOTH of us, and not just her.
Post # 7
What you are feeling is normal , it seems like you are still being an awesome friend regardless if it being hard for you – kudos ! I am sending positive vibes to you and your hubbys “shtuff” 😉
Post # 8
I really hope you feel better. Eventually, you’ll be able to be happy for her, but right now take some time for you to process it all so that you can truly be a supportive friend when you’re able.
Post # 9
If she is your best friend then I think a frank discussion is in order. Yes she might get a little emotional, but if it is honestly bothering you then she needs to know it. I know if the shoe were on the other foot my best friend and I would be open about it. I understand that this is an exciting time for her, but maybe sequeway into your problem and start it from there.
Post # 10
@StormyRose: I would like to talk to her about it, but am trying to find the right words. In no way I want HER to feel responsible for MY sadness, but on the other hand I need her to be there for me as well. She tends to be a bit sensitive and I don’t want to hurt her feelings.
Post # 11
@Danish_Student: Right now, you’re giving 100% to her feelings and 0% to your own. I think a discussion, worded as delicately as possible, is in order.
If she is truly your friend, she will understand where you’re coming from and not take it personally.
Post # 12
@Danish_Student: And she will be overly emotional with the pregnancy. Is she aware that his test results were not good? Maybe talking to her about the disappointment there will help turn the talk to where it needs to go. And when you do talk to her make sure she understands jsut how happy you are for her, but frustrated about your own situation.
When my best friend was getting married I was happy for her and crying inside because I could never seem to find anyone. We ended up having a really long talk one night. I told her I always felt like the third wheel since it was always them and me. I was envious of her and told her so. She understood and once it was out there then it made things a little easier for me jsut knowing that she understood how I felt.