(Closed) "Best friend" vent

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@LadyElva:  Yikes! What have you been doing when he texts? Have you been answering? If yes, have you been engaged in the conversation, or have you been standoffish, giving unenthusiastic answers? 

 

I had a friend (not a best friend) who was coming to the wedding. He is the one I bounced ideas and excitement off of (other than my now-husband) leading up to it. I talked to him two days before the wedding, asking a question about his girlfriend’s drink preference. He answered. I provided. He didn’t show. He didn’t text or email or leave me a note on Facebook. He just didn’t show. That night, I was at the hotel with my husband and I was changing my Facebook stuff (last name, that I was now married, yay!) and he gave my marital status change a thumbs up. He blew off my wedding — a wedding where he knew he was one of only 20 people, meaning that in our very small ensemble, I wanted him and his girlfriend to be there — and gave it a thumbs up on Facebook. 

 

Like you, I had no expectations of anyone being super excited about that day the way we were. But he was there with me through all of the planning and nerves and laments and then he blew me off. It hurt. And then the thumbs up just felt like salt. 

Post # 4
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Wow! That so sad, I am sorry you’re going through that! I would confront the issue.. He could be very selfish or was upset about something he didn’t talk to you about personally. Face to face I would just ask “what was your problem, why would you stand me up like that?” Easier said than done, I know.. confrontation is a pain, but by the sounds of it, he would blow you off via technology/social media. He sounds like a real tool.

Post # 5
Member
855 posts
Busy bee

Do you think that maybe this goes deeper than the surface? Sort of a ‘friend zone’ kind of thing? Maybe you actually getting married hit him really hard?

Post # 6
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Miss Jackrabbit:  This was my thought as well. Maybe he realized that he had started having romantic feelings for you and didn’t know how to handle it? That might explain the sudden disappearance and reappearance.

Post # 8
Hostess
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Why don’t you call him, schedule a time to go see him and ask what happened? “You know, I was pretty hurt when I didn’t hear from you for four months and you skipped my wedding. Is everything ok?”

Don’t bother with texting and facebook. The issue you’re having isn’t really appropriate for casual communication.

Post # 9
Member
855 posts
Busy bee

@LadyElva:  Then you need to talk to him. Straight out. It’s not fair for him to do this to you, and it’s not fair for him to bail on you like that. You need to call him out on it and demand an answer. It is absolutely unacceptable as a friend to put someone you supposedly care about in this position and make them feel that way! So he definitely needs to apologise.

This isn’t about you being a bride and wanting all the attention. This is about your friend bailing on you and refusing to give you an answer.

Post # 10
Member
855 posts
Busy bee

@Mrs.LemonDrop:  Oooh +1! Ask him if everything is okay first. Something MIGHT be going on with him, so play the friend card first. If he doesn’t open up, THEN get annoyed. And I also agree about doing it in person. Too many things get mixed up via text/fb.

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