(Closed) Best Friend vs SO…what to do?! PLEASE HELP!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

After dinner you should be able to leave the head table and sit with your SO. He can take one night. Do something special for him and his birthday either the weekend before or after the wedding.

Post # 4
4525 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@Tatertot2003:  I’d say the wedding wins. He’s not 10, he should understand that the world doesn’t revolve around him because it’s the anniversary of the day he was born. The BFF’s wedding is a one time deal.

Post # 5
46402 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

As my Mom used to say to me Nobody asked you to like it, just do it.

You are the Maid/Matron of Honor. You have an obligation to stay for a resonable length of time at the reception. He is your SO. He has an obligation to be there for you.


Post # 6
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Tatertot2003:  honestly, your boyfriend has a birthday every year and he isn’t a child. Your friend is getting married, which is a once in a lifetime thing. If you we’re just a guest, I’d say maybe you could leave early, but as her Maid/Matron of Honor, no. It was your boyfriend’s decision to come and this is your friend’s big day. it’s one evening out of your lives, and your boyfriend will live. 

Post # 7
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You go and stay until the bitter end! Sounds like you have a pretty good SO who respects your friendship with Boyfriend or Best Friend, and although spending his bday at a wedding is probably the last thing he wants to do, he sounds more than willing to do whatever it takes so you can share this moment with her. There is no rule that says you have to remain at the head table after dinner, or if the other BM’s get up to dance that SO can’t slide in next to you-especially since your Boyfriend or Best Friend sounds accommodating enough to try and sit him next to people he’ll get along with and won’t mind him sitting in an empty seat once the formalities are over. 


Post # 8
8379 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would stay until the bride leaves. She’s only getting married once.

Post # 9
4371 posts
Honey bee

It’s pretty much expected the Maid/Matron of Honor stays until the bitter end.

Post # 10
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

As soon as dinner is over, you should be able to move from the head table to his table and spend the evening with him.  Technically, your obligation has ended at that point.  I think the plan of him going to the friend’s party before joining the reception is a good one.  You’ve both known about the wedding for some time so I assume it’s not a surprise that it’s on his birthday or at the same time as his friend’s party.  It’s a one-time thing.

Post # 11
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@beachbride1216:  +1… Being an adult means sometimes doing things you don’t want to do. If he is willing to go you should accept and finish out the reception.

Post # 12
7739 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Tatertot2003:  Stay to the end, no question (or when the bride leaves). The big party is once a year. You can celebrate his birthday the next day.

Sorry but when you committed to be MOH, you committed to be MOH for the whole wedding day.

Post # 13
9682 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Tatertot2003:  For me, it would be no contest. My partner comes first every time.

Post # 14
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I would stay until at least 1 hour before the end, as long as you have been there for all the festivity stuff.  As for being bored, sometimes you just have to make your own fun 🙂  I know I can never be bored when I am with my SO (and we have been in some boring situations).  You make up a silly game, or dance like crazy people, or make up new drinks (even non alcholic ones- cherry ice tea?). 

Post # 15
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Is his birthday really that big of a deal to him?  Why not just declare that the following day (or a day the weekend prior) will be his birthday and celebrate him then?

Post # 16
7218 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Stay until the end. Usually my partner would come first but in this scenario I would definitely stay. In the past when I’ve been Maid/Matron of Honor I helped clean up and bring gifts to the car. I also just wanted to be there for my friend.

There was one situation where I was good friends with the bride and didn’t know anyone else. Darling Husband and I stayed until the end and still had fun with each other and got to know some of the other people our age.

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