Post # 32
yes, you need to stay all night. It’s one night. Do NOT feel guilty about this in any way, shape, or form. Everyone has a birthday EVERY year, not everyone has a wedding every year (well, unless you’re Mariah Carey). This also sounds like a new-ish bf, and this is a long time friend. Bros before hos.
Post # 33
@Tatertot2003: As Moh you would be required to stay for pictures and speeches.
Post # 34
Yeah I would be devastated if my Maid/Matron of Honor left before I did. I expect her to be sitting with me at the after party crying a little and reminiscing.
I think you should suck it up and have enough to drink that you feel a little unihibited.
Post # 35
@Tatertot2003: Tell your guy to seriously not go- you won’t be able to be with him anyway. Have him go to his friend’s bash, you go to the wedding, and then make the next day you both have off all about him.
There’s no reason to make this a Fi vs BFF situation.
Post # 36
Agreed! Tell him to enjoy his birthday, while you do your Maid/Matron of Honor duties! It’s just one night.
Post # 37
My boyfriend came with me to my uni friends wedding. Knew literally no one but me… on his birthday. He is not a wedding person either. Do you know what? He spent most of the night drinking with all the husbands and had a blast! I made a fuss of him in the morning so its not like his birthday was ignored. Yes you will have to stay to the bitter end but he will have fun i am sure of it. The best wedding i ever went to was my friends in Canada. I knew him and that was about it. Had the best time ever with his friends who made such an effort with me as i was flying solo. We ended up drinking and dancing on tables until about 3am. Don’t stress; sometimes the occassions you dread the most turn out to be the best!!!
Post # 38
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
@Tatertot2003: I’m sorry, but your post kind of infuriated me. THIS IS ONE DAY!!! You’ve made a committment to your best friend. Your SO sounds like he’s being very accommodating and will attend even though he doesn’t want to. Why can’t you do the same? Put on your big girl pants and be there for your best friend. I can’t believe you would think about doing anything that might hurt her feelings on the most important day of her life. Suck it up, put on a smile, and enjoy the wedding of your best friend. You and your SO will be perfectly fine.
Post # 39
Before my wedding, I would have said leave after a reasonable amout of time after dinner. But that was before my wedding… where my Maid/Matron of Honor left early because she was tired. I would have maybe understood if she had had to drive a major distance to get home, or even a little, but she was staying at the hotel where the reception was. The more I thought about it after the wedding, the more hurt that I was. The real kicker? She missed out on one of my favourite moments of the day, where all of our closest friends, who were the last to leave, all danced with DH and I in a big group dance. This group included DH’s groomsmen, who HATE dancing, but they did this for me, because they love DH. My Maid/Matron of Honor missed out on that moment, because she was tired.
Post # 40
I don’t think I would have gotten involved in a wedding taking place on my SO’s birthday, but it’s not something you can change now.
So, even though I agree with MrsPanda, I think you are stuck. I know your SO is insisting on coming, but I think he would have a much nicer time not attending. I would try to get out of there early, but if it’s going to create problems, then I would stick it out.
Post # 41
I’d rather create problems with a friend than my partner 😛 Crass or not, I can always make more friends. I have one life partner.
Post # 42
Just saw that you had no way of knowing it would be your SO’s bday on the day of the wedding.
Yeah, you’re stuck, but I would feel the same way. I don’t know if the word “neurotic” offends you, but that is how I describe myself. I tend to worry quite a bit about SO’s comfort even when he assures me all is well.
Post # 43
you need to stay for most if not all of the wedding. It’s one night, you guys will survive. Don’t go into it thinking you’ll have a bad time and want to leave, that just sets up up to have no fun.
Post # 44
This post is titled “Best Friend vs SO” making it sound as though you’ve been put in some sort of position to choose between them, but I’m not seeing that at all…? You said your boyfriend is willing to attend, OR he can go to his friend’s party and skip the reception, OR he can do both. Is there an actual problem with any of these things?
It sounds to me like you’re inventing this whole conflict/scenario as an excuse not to stay long at the reception. And I do understand that, because I’m not a hard partier or a night owl either, but I think you just have to suck it up. Your best friend might not totally mind if you left early, but she would probably appreciate it more if you stayed.
Post # 45
Why not insist your Boyfriend go to his friend’s party instead? It isn’t like he needs to be at a wedding.
Post # 46
@Tatertot2003: You have to stay!