(Closed) Best friend's BF is going to propose and the ring is awful. :-(

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I tell him my real opinion?

    Keep your mouth shut!!

    Speak up, buttercup!!

  • Post # 32
    Member
    11259 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

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    @conflictedbf:  i would not say anything to her.  she can decide for herself if she loves the ring.  just wait and see.

    i have seen some stunning chocolate diamonds online before.  i think that they can be very pretty.   then again, i love all jewellery.

    Post # 33
    Member
    1119 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @conflictedbf:  I know she’s your best friend, but I don’t think you should get involved. Relationships are about communication – if they are at the point of considering spending the rest of their lives together, they should be able to work this out themselves anyway, really.

    Having said that, I wouldn’t care what my ring looked like if it were me – I’d be more excited that I’m officially going to be spending the rest of my life with that one awesome person! 🙂

    Post # 34
    Member
    4302 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

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    @JrzyGurl:  Call me crazy but I don’t see anywhere in the OP where she was asked an opinion he simply showed her the ring.  Nonetheless the ring isn’t even for the OP so saying anything rude would be highly offensive to the guy and her friend. A simple “congratulations” is in order.

    Post # 35
    Member
    14158 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    The fact that he showed it to you at all may mean he wanted a reaction of some kind.  I might try a test balloon like like “I’ve never heard of a chocolate diamond” to see if he follows up with “Do you think she’ll like it?”

    Post # 36
    Member
    3827 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I am the minority apparently. he asked because he wanted an opinion. And I would tell him what she had said she wanted. I have a friend who this happened to. Her fiancée was suppose to bring me with him to look at rings. He didn’t and now she is stuck with an ugly cocktail looking ring that she is not overly fond of. And I can tell. 

    Post # 37
    Member
    1460 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    @conflictedbf:  If he texts you again about the ring, I’d casually mention that you think the ring will be beautiful but has he talked to her at all about what kind of ring she would prefer? And go from there. But I definitely wouldn’t say anything to her about it. If he proposes with the chocolate diamond ring and she hates it, then it’s their business as to what they’re going to do about it and you shouldn’t interfere.

    Post # 38
    Member
    1246 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

    I would keep quiet and just think of advice to give her if she comes to you after the proposal hating the ring and wants advice how to handle it. 

    Post # 39
    Member
    475 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Oh gosh, I would love a chocolate diamond in yellow or rose gold. It’s on my list of someday rings 🙂

    Post # 41
    Member
    1219 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @conflictedbf:  I would be almost as upset about the fact that the stone was in the ring of his divorced mother than the colour of the stone. I have my Grandma’s wedding band which she wore in a happy marriage for 40 years before she passed away and I love the sentiment. However, a ring that came from a divorce? I’d be worried it was a bad omen. 

    If he was just showing you the ring because he was excited about it, I’d be tempted to keep quiet, but if he specifically asked what you though, I would go along with PP and say that you’re not sure based on other jewellery she owns and ask if he has checked it out to see her style. 

    Post # 42
    Member
    123 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I don’t think it’s your place to say anything.  Let her come to you and then you can help figure out a solution. 

    BUT if you feel you need to say something  @conflictedbf had a good point.  I agree with where the ring came from is a bit strange.  Family heirloom is one thing, but divorced is something else.  Perhaps if you really dislike the ring that could be a good point to bring up – but I still wouldn’t say anything unless he specifically asks.  Remember that guys put their heart and soul into picking out an engagement ring for their loved one.  It could really hurt his feelings if you come at it in the wrong way so if you really want to say something just be mindful and consider his feelings. 

    Post # 43
    Member
    302 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    @Swizzle +1 

    If he came to you asking for YOUR OPINION. I definitely would not lie, I would tell him that you know exactly what she wants, and explain to him what she wants. Don’t you think he would feel better knowing exactly what she wants? 

    If he didn’t necessarily ask for your opinion, but just sent you pictures saying “here it is” then maybe it’s best not to say anything… But if he asked you what you think you should definitely speak up. I know this post is probably too late. But for future bees with this same problem, this is my opinion. 

    I hope everything worked out and she’s not mortified. 🙂

    Post # 44
    Member
    1152 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Oh come on now he has to have proposed by now if he was shipping out in Nov!!  Can we puhleeeeeeze see pictures of this ring he proposed with?!?

    Post # 45
    Member
    1427 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - parent\'s backyard

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    @ebarnes0:  right? 

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    @conflictedbf:  what happened? did the engagement go well? did she like the ring? 

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