(Closed) Best friend’s wedding and sister’s graduation on the same day.. what can I do???

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
1174 posts
Bumble bee

@autumn865: I would not miss either event. I would let her know if she chose the same date as your sister’s graduation you would not be able to be a part of the wedding party. You can be a great friend to her and help plan and be there for your sister. I would not skip out on my sister for anybody’s wedding. Sorry.


Post # 19
269 posts
Helper bee

I vote skip the graduation unless you’ve talked to your sister and she would be devastated without you. 

I had to make the wedding/ graduationdecision last year and I decided to skip my own graduation to gI on my honeymoon lol. I don’t regret it at all and I wouldn’t care if my family missed it. Graduations are incredibly boring for everyone attending and you could always have a family graduation party the next day. 

Good luck!

Post # 20
1626 posts
Bumble bee

I would go for my best friend’s wedding. In my family, almost everyone has a graduate degree so a graduation from college is not really a big deal. I actually missed my brother’s graduation for this very issue. He was upset but I reminded him that he’s getting his master’s and I will be there for him. My friend has done a lot of things for me and I wanted to stand up with her that day. Honestly, I grade weddings on a higer scale than graduations. If not going to your sister’s graduation is NOT an option, please let your friend know ASAP so she can start making alternate arrangements.

Post # 21
2024 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@autumn865: Go to both.  Not being in the wedding and arriving later as a guest is just as good, in my book.  There is no way I would miss my sister’s graduation either.  You can still help your friend with planning, transporting gifts, etc.  Just keep the lines of communication open and find out how you can help on her big day.

Post # 22
4107 posts
Honey bee

i would pick the wedding, especially because you are a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  and also encourage your friend to do what is best for her.

Post # 23
111 posts
Blushing bee

I will also go against the grain and say that if both events end up on the same day to attend your sister’s graduation.  I can’t imagine missing out on such a big day for my sister.  And, I would try to still attend the later part of the wedding celebration if possible.

Post # 24
6610 posts
Bee Keeper

Graduations are important in my family, but I don’t think anyone would have been heartbroken had I needed to miss it for such a legitimate reason.

How do you think your sister would feel about you missing graduation?

Post # 25
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’d rather have someone miss my graduation than miss my wedding. 

Post # 26
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Have you told your friend about the conflict with the new date? Not that it’s all about you, but that may factor into her decision. If she still goes with the new date, bow out as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but go to the wedding late to support her. If she knows how close you and your sister are, she should understand.

Post # 27
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I would probably go to my sister’s graduation and attend the reception for my best friend’s wedding.

Post # 28
3625 posts
Sugar bee

Family trumps.

Post # 29
1972 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I may be in the minority here, but if it were me, I would go with sister’s graduation.  Yes, graduations are boring and long, BUT it is something your sister put a lot of work and effort into.  And to me, family just kind of goes above everything else.

Post # 30
1954 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@autumn865: If the venue wants to move your friend’s wedding to another date, would your friend be willing to ask the venue if there are other dates available (that are not on your sister’s graduation day)? While graduations aren’t terribly exciting, I agree with you. I wouldn’t have missed my sister’s graduation either.

If it were me, and my friend goes with the new date, I’d step down as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, go to my sister’s graduation, and then attend the friend’s wedding late as a guest. But that’s just me. You have to go with what feels right to you regardless of what any one else thinks. Sorry you got caught in this situation.

Post # 31
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I also wouldn’t miss my siblings’ graduation for a wedding (your bff would understand, especially since it was her doing that cause the scheduling conflict..and you just have to think which one you would most regret not attending).. To me, graduation is a huge deal!  they spend years working hard (and a lot of money too) and it’s a day to celebrate their achievement. I went to each and every one of my siblings’ graduation..from junior high to postgraduate! You can still go to the wedding late as a guest. 🙂

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